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 Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 10:01 pm
For a very long time I wanted a baby. Though I never tried getting pregnant. It was like a part of me that just really wanted one. Not to necessarily cover any pain. Or to "live for a child" or make me happy. But just have one to call my own. When I realized that I could've been pregnant the last time I had sex. I think what I'm trying to get at was. In a way I wanted to "trap" the person who would've gotten me pregnant ...thats extremely selfish of myself to think that way. sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 8:23 am
You're right, it is selfish to have a baby for the purpose of tying your partner to you. But you know what? The fact that you see that, recognize it, and admit it is a good thing.
There are so many people out there who say things like, "Gee, I'd like a baby. Sure I have no place of my own, no job, no money, no education, and no health insurance, but oh well, I'll worry about it after the baby is born." When we try to explain to them how selfish that is, a lot of them don't even see it. So if you basically say, "I kind of want a baby. Half of it is for the right reasons, but half is for the wrong reasons..." it means you're at least one step ahead of the people who just plain don't see it, right? xp And you're a big person to admit your motives.
So now you just have to make sure that temptation isn't too strong. There's nothing wrong with wanting a baby, just make sure you wait until you have what a baby needs and until you want a baby for all the right reasons.
Keep in mind that having a baby won't necessarily keep anyone with you. Plenty of parents split up. And having a baby can actually cause the split in some cases, especially if the couple cannot agree on how to raise the child, if the woman lied about being on birth control, etc.
A baby is a huge step. Always make sure you're ready and make sure your partner is too. Make sure you know where money is going to come from, talk about who can watch the baby, talk about how the baby will get health insurance, talk about how you'll get to the doctor, and all that other stuff.
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