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 Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:11 pm
Crit~
I like the trade, but I'm a little confused about the verita's involvement. It seems kind of... superfluous? I think the magic paper is enough without involving this other species out of nowhere. It felt a little tacked-on to me, to suddenly have another creature involved. sweatdrop
I like his personality, the never-satisfied social butterfly is an interesting dynamic, especially in RP. *nods* How does his desire to meet people work with his desire to fly? I imagine he might have some difficulty finding time for both. Also, how does his desire to fly himself affect his trade? Does he siphon materials for himself, get in trouble for it? Does he get bitter about making wings for people and not himself? Things like that.
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Posted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:31 pm
Hmmm, I really like the trade he has. I'm not sure what you'd classify it as, though- I'd say Aishe? It takes magic to make them, but on a whole, what he offers is a service, which falls under the dominion of Aishe. I could be wrong, though?
And I'm gonna have to disagree with Sosi on the personality. xD This is just personal opinion and tastes, but I think the whole angsty-inside, happy-outside is really cliche. Why does he get so withdrawn and bored with his "friends"? (That's how I interpreted it) What makes him want to be free, does he feel constricted making paper wings for people and himself? They're his only means of (temporarily) being in the sky he so loves, so I can't see why he'd want to be liberated. What's he so withdrawn (to himself) for? It says there's a history section, but I don't see it, so he just seems like a sad guy putting up a facade, which I've seen done a lot.
I did, however, really like his physical appearance~ He sounds adorable. xD
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Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:10 pm
I'll agree with Aerith and say he sounds more Aishe than Luminista.
Luminista is more um... magical in nature. They sell things that usually aren't all that practical and are inherently magical.
So while he uses magic, the goal is for anyone to be able to use these wings. Its your call on it, but just my two cents.
Everything else is go though.
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