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not to sure where to put this but i guess i'll just start with back in May. Back in May me and my girlfriend had sex for the first time together unprotected unfortunately. well a month goes by and she hasnt started her period, i get her a pregnancy test and she is pregnant. we were so happy but scared seeing as how we are both only 17 and she is a foster child. well i end up telling my mom that she might be because i wanted to see how she would react. turns out not so great, my mom threatened to kick me out to live with my dad who in return wanted to send me to a live-in school. i tell my girlfriend this and she says she will take care of everything if i just say i love and trust her, so i did. she didnt say what exactly she was going to do, so the next day when i talked to her. she said she took a bunch of pills, cant remember what kind, and she said that she was in the bathroom the whole previous night bleeding. im not too proud of this and she deeply regrets it.

anyways after that we havent had sex until about August. after which we always used protection and one time we had an accident (condom came off inside of her) so she took plan b. and the next week we had another problem (condom broke) so once again she takes it. my friend then tells us that you should only take plan b twice a year cuz her doctor told her anymore than that may cause problems in reproduction later. well me and my girlfriend get caught up in the moment around the 3rd week of september and we have sex without protection and i c**. and after this we decide that we do wanna have a baby together so about 6 or 7 times after this we have sex without a condom.

My girlfriend began to gain weight about after a month and wefigured after all that she must be pregnant, well this last week she started her period and it was such a big disappointment for both of us cuz we were looking forward to having a baby. also that same day i was watching something on tv about cell phones messin with sperm and what not and i constantly had my phone in my front pockets so now im kinda worried that something is wrong with one of us what do you guys think. should we be worried?

I second Lorien's post.

She can't even go to the ob-gyn and you think she can have a baby? Ob-gyn visits are not recommended during pregnancy; they're required during pregnancy. In fact, ob-gyn visits are required for all sexually active women. You two are being flat out irresponsible, childish, and careless by not having her see an ob-gyn.

You two can't just get pregnant, not see any doctors, deliver the baby at home, and be on your merry way. It just doesn't happen that way. Again, you two need to do a hell of a lot of a growing up and a hell of a lot of research. It sounds like you two are clueless when it comes to responsibility, finances, fertility, medical care, etc.

You think your part time job is going to pay for everything? I don't know about things where you live, but I will tell you about where I live to give you an idea.

-First of all, you can't even sign a lease around here unless you're 21. That means you two will be homeless for a few years to come because you can't buy property or sign leases.

-Even if you could sign a lease, do you have $500+ a month for rent? That's what you'd need to rent around here, bare minimum. You need to pay for electric too though, so plan on another $100 at least every month.

-My partner and I pay about $400 for food, toilet paper, cleaner, etc. every month. If you have a pregnant lady living with you, you might need to plan on spending even more than that because she should ideally be eating all the best food, including lots of organic fruits and vegetables.

-What about prenatal vitamins? She needs to talk to her ob-gyn and see what prenatal vitamins she should be taking. If she's not seeing an ob-gyn and taking prenatal vitamins even though she's trying to get pregnant, then she is being a neglectful mother already.

-What about your car payment? You two better have a car and gas money so she can get to doctor's appointments and the store.

-Does she have health insurance for herself that she can add the baby to? If not, you better have thousands in the bank to devote to medical bills.

In short, it is impossible for you to provide adequate care for a baby at this time. You seriously need to stop being selfish and wait until you can actually care for a baby. If you have a baby right now, I have no doubt it will not turn out well, and I would be quite surprised if the baby was not taken away from you. I'm sorry, but it is the truth. You need to look beyond your own desires and think about what is actually best for the baby.

It's ok, the thread wasn't old. smile

I live in Canada, so things like seeing an OB-GYN and going to appointments is almost always free (covered) for us. At least I've never heard of paying to see an OB-GYN. So I can only imagine how much it'd actually cost to have to pay to see one. sweatdrop I've heard that a simple check-up or appointment with a regular doctor can run as high as $75 - $80.

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As others have already said, you need to have lots and lots of money. Going on welfare usually isn't enough, as I'm sure my friend would tell you.

Lorien said where she lives, you can't sign a lease until you're 21. In my part of Canada, you can do it when you're 17, but you need the money to pay for rent. Having only a part-time job is barely enough to cover the costs of two people, if not impossible, let alone two people and a baby.

My boyfriend and I are currently paying $675 a month for rent - a technically one (could be two) bedroom basement suite. He pays an additional like, $40 a month for our phone, and then $30 more a month so I can have cable TV. So we look at about $750 a month just for bills. Food is usually about $400 a month, and then anything leftover goes to paying off our debt, or we'll splurge and maybe spend a little money on ourselves. And I fully admit we're living off his money - if we were not dating, I'd be completely ******** for money and would probably have to move in with friends or go live closer to my parents ( talk2hand ). I've been waiting to have kids for a few years, but we both know we don't have enough money (and welfare isn't an option), so we're waiting.

I agree with Lorien that you need your own transportation. In an emergency, taking the bus or calling someone for a ride doesn't cut it if you need to leave right away. So you're looking at thousands of dollars for a vehicle, new or used, and then you need insurance, money for gas, money set aside for repairs, etc.

As Lorien also touched on in her first post, if you two were somehow allowed to keep the baby, I'd be more than willing to bet that your parents and her foster parents would have to get involved to either help pay for the baby's expenses, baby-sit, etc. And that's not fair to your guys' parents. They probably don't want to have to raise another child when they're still busy raising you.

Nevermind that your relationship might not survive having a baby. Having children puts sometimes unforseen stresses on a couple and they break up. Then you have to deal with paying child support, work out custody with your girlfriend, etc.

It sounds like Lorien and others are being harsh, but we're trying to make you see and understand things you don't appear to yet understand. It's not like you can have a baby without getting anyone else involved, go on welfare (or live on your part-time job) and have a baby. At your age, with the problems and situations you guys are living with now, it'd be very, very hard to have a baby. And in the end, it's not fair to the baby. I have a friend who's on welfare (income assistance) and has been since her baby was born, and while I know she loves her daughter, money has always been a very stressful issue. Being in welfare helps her but limits her at the same time, and she hasn't always been able to provide for her child the way she'd like to. It's not fair to bring a child into the world and have it be a burden because it was born. Your future child deserves better than that.

We're being hard on you because you both need to hear it. You both need to grow up, save money, test your relationship and get her straightened out BEFORE you have a baby. When you've been together for awhile, she gets her issues straightened out (the whole taking pills thing, etc), when you BOTH grow up and mature a bit, and when you have tons of money saved up, then you should think about having a baby. But not now and not anytime soon.

I got pregnant when I was 17 [18 now], so I know exactly what they are talking about. This wasn't a planned pregnancy, per say. My fiancee and I had only spoken of what we would do should this little problem arise.

And then boom. I ended up pregnant after a very irresponsible night we had. Ever since then, life has been HARD. I've been on homebound schooling since I got pregnant because I'm high-risk. Sure, I'm still going to school, but do you know what its like to be at home 24-7 and have to quit your first real, good paying job? Your girlfriend, as ready as she might be, wouldn't like that. Not to mention the fact that she's in foster care. Her foster-parents could get in so much trouble, do you know that? They could loose their license over you two being immature.

Anyway, I lost my Medicaid for almost three months because I married the father of my child. I didn't see a doctor for almost six weeks during that time and then I got to a clinic that had a sliding fee program. I paid $15 a visit, but had to pay for lab work and ultrasounds. I had almost $2000 racked up by the end of my fifth month of pregnancy. You can't pay that on a part-time job that's paying you minimum wage.

Now my husband and I recieve food stamps. I nice chunk of change that helps a lot. Our rent is $300 plus gas. Not bad for a crappy trailer. But, we also have friends living with us now just to help pay that because my husband just got fired from his job. Now there's something you didn't consider either, did you? Oh, not to mention car insurance, you have to have car insurance. That's another $100 a month, plus huge gas prices even if you have a fuel efficient car. Alone, you're going to be paying probably nearly $1000 in expenses just for you two, but a baby? Oh man.

Can you afford a two bedroom apartment or trailer, even if you could lease one? It has to be two bedrooms. No one will lease you a one bedroom if you have a baby on the way. We tried. Two heartbeats per room, they told us [though it would be three in one for a little while, technically]. So, if you can't dish out the 500+ a month, plus deposit, forget it.

My husband and I were lucky enough that both side of our family supported us at the beginning and helped us a lot. I wouldn't have ANYTHING for the coming of our child if it wasn't for other people, but it sounds like your family isn't like that.

Like Lorien and Niko said, you're being very selfish, immature, and irresponsible by saying, "Let's have a baby!" You're still children yourselves. I'm speaking from experience, don't do it. Wait until you can support yourselves well before considering a baby. And wait until your girlfriend can go see a doctor.