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 Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 8:22 pm
So What is it?
So, you know how I feel,
Yet you push me away,
I try to figure out why,
But you push harder yet,
Why must you?
I feel as if you know something I don’t,
I really do!
But you won’t answer when I ask,
You won’t help me when I’m in need,
I ask this, and only this,
Will you help me understand?
I ask simple questions,
But you refuse to answer,
Why, why am I repulsed?
I ask again, why,
Why, why, why?
Please, just answer me this,
Will you return my love?
Why won’t you?
What is it about me that you don’t like?
What is wrong?
Why do you cry?
Why, why am I crying?
What… what is wrong with me?
Am I in this much love as well?
No…. I can’t be!
No….
Every time I talk to you,
No matter what the mood,
I love every minute of it,
Yet when I ask,
It upsets you,
And upsets me as well.
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Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 6:50 pm
It seems to hit close to home with this one... It seems to flow well and there is some emotions that i can feel easily. it's a bit vague but that is understandable since it is a private matter converted into a poem.
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Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 7:21 pm
i thought it conveyed a lot of emotion, i could feel it clearly.
despairing and fustration, longing? not sure what you might have really felt, but thats what i draw from it.
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Posted: Sat Oct 25, 2008 1:48 pm
Dart, I see your point, and yes it is vague due to that reason.
DawnZi, yes, thanks, I was trying to convey those emotions, now I hope it works.
Many thanks!
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Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:12 am
It's good although the poem must not only revolve on one aspect of the feeling.
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Posted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 7:48 am
I like how i can relate to it, and thank you for not rhyming your words, poems that rhym often turn out distorted from the original message due to trying to find words that rhym. Good poem. I like how you did the stanzas.
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Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 1:27 pm
Personally, i loved it. Your emotions are layed out in a form that is kind of easy to understand. I write poetry myself and the back and forth of question and no reply is genious..keep writing poetry. i want to see more for you 3nodding
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Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 10:47 pm
Doesn't flow. Doesn't have a good rhythm.
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Posted: Wed May 26, 2010 6:01 pm
oh same here its very good i loved it it makes sooo much sense. smile ) 3nodding keep doing what yr doing wink xp loveAkiochan Personally, i loved it. Your emotions are layed out in a form that is kind of easy to understand. I write poetry myself and the back and forth of question and no reply is genious..keep writing poetry. i want to see more for you 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 3:25 pm
Very good. I sensed a lot of conflicting emotions coming from it. pain and loss as well confusion and frustration,but underneath it all I sensed a mixtured of fear and love. by the way I'm a poet as well.
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