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 Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:10 pm
Once upon a life...
Once upon a day...
Once upon a misery
And once upon a way.
A tear cryed in happiness...
A tear cryed in pain...
Tears of a broken heart
And tears for today.
"Sing," says the child.
"Sing now for me,
For I've lost my home-
I've lost my everything."
"Sing," says the child.
"Sing now with me-
For a song sang in pain
Means twice as much to me."
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Posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 5:58 pm
very good not my style... but it is pretty good...a suggestion its really repetitive when you have the same beginning for a line more than once let alone twice... but other than that very good...
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:47 am
Contrarily, in this type of writing the repitition is intended. Its called parallelism and adds to the poem.
I really like it rose ^.^
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Posted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 12:54 pm
yes i know... i'm just saying that its not my style... i kinda figured that it would be that way...
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Posted: Mon Oct 20, 2008 11:56 am
its usually not my style, either, so don't feel bad....i just write what comes to mind
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