-I'm allowing my roommate to post a problem she's been having with her boyfriend.-
Also- she wishes to apologize for the length of the post.
Hello, okay here is the question I have been having lately. It has been really weighing on my mind and so I have been asking people just to get advice on what to do.
I know everyone will most likely say follow your heart and be true to yourself and what you really want. But, my question is what if you are confused?
For example, here is the background story. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months, we were best friends for 2 years before we started dating which is why we chose to start dating in the first place to see if it would work out.
Thus far it has been very good. I don't know any other way really to explain it. I will not sugar coat anything because I don't believe in fairy tales, I am well aware that anything could happen and that people change and that the "happy perfect" couples do NOT exist.
Because every couple fights every now and then, we do have our share of arguments, but they never last too long and we both do like talking about our points of view or problems and usually work things out and try to come to a compromise/agreement.
What is bothering me lately is that I think perhaps we have either been spending too much time together and he takes me for granted now. Or it could be possible that he just is sick of me and doesn't want to be with me. I would like to think that since I've known him for so long that he'd be honest with me and tell me if he wanted to break up, he has not, in fact he says he wants to be with me.
His actions speak very well for him too. He does show me attention and tells me he loves me and does little nice things. However, I crave a little more attention than he sometimes will or can provide. ( he does work full time and lives in his own apartment so he has responsibilities plus he likes to work out so he has his own self to take care of) So, I often battle the thought of perhaps I am being to spoiled and I am just being a little demanding, so I deal with what I get.
I constantly wonder should I stay with him, I mean he does make me happy and I DO love him, I know most of you would probably say "then what is the problem, you know the answer you just said it...."
WELL the chaos is in the fact that this other guy who I have known only for a year and I just now started really getting to know him more as a closer friend. Simply because he is in the same field as me and he's already graduated so I look up to him for inspiration and advice. Turns out he likes me, which however I did tell him I have a boyfriend but that we could continue being friends and he said he was fine with that.
But, I found myself wondering, could I possibly be happier with this guy friend. I mean at first I was like no way and now I am thinking you know he has a lot of qualities that I admire and really like in a guy.
Now, am I just going through that "grass is greener on the other side" phase or is this some sort of wake up call to myself? I don't want to make a decision that I will regret. I have sadly done that in the past and I don't want to do it again. Which is why I want advice from people to help clear my thoughts and maybe see something from someone other person's or people's views that I perhaps may not be able to see for myself for some God unknown reason.
I really do appreciate all feedback and I do appreciate if you be kind in your answers and refrain from saying idiotic remarks. Such as "quit being a baby and suck it up" I wouldn't right this much if I wasn't that confused..
SO is it all me over analyzing everything? My boyfriend I love and I can't imagine leaving him, but would it be worth leaving to find someone who could give me more what I am looking for?
The thing is that I do trust my boyfriend with everything and he knows EVERYTHING about me and it's hard to leave that comfort zone especially when I am scared that it will be a huge mistake or it could be for the better, I just hate doubting myself. I wish I had the confidence to really figure it out what it is that I am wanting. I know what I deserve I just need to figure out who can, will and actually GIVE me what I deserve in a relationship.
Thanks for all of your help for those who do respond. =)
