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Vincent SN
Crew

Loyal Gatekeeper

PostPosted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:14 pm


A/N: Somewhat of a good poem... Please give me your feedback on it ^_^.


Distant, cold and alone,
Fighting for air, for a breath…
Cold air flowing around your hands,
Eyes frozen shut, plunged into perpetual darkness.

Few know how life truly is,
The forever darkness we live in.
All this hatred and sorrow,
This miserable reality we all have to cope with.

And how many more will it take?
How many lives are you willing to give?
Is it not enough, to have given again and again,
To have all you ever loved, ever wanted, stolen?

We all have some form of darkness,
Some negativity in our lives.
This horrible outlook holds us back,
When we could accomplish so much more.

Are you all really that blind?
Could you truly believe in something
That does not believe in you?
Something you cannot see?

You are deaf to the cries of the world.
These children around you,
Pleading and begging you all for help.
Tugging at your pants leg… At your heart.

Are you truly so heartless as to ignore them…
Light up the darkness.
Let your passions and love shine through all.
And never allow yourself to fall.

Beliefs pressed upon us all,
Lives taken at the expense of others.
We are all just animals in the end…
That’s why we created religion and politics

Believe in who you are.
If nothing else, believe in those you love.
Because in the end, that is all you have.
All you will ever have…

Never let go, Never let up.
Light up this darkness with hope, trust and love.
And always hold on to the things most important to you.

Vincent, SN
PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 8:55 pm


I don't know Vince. It's good, don't get me wrong, but I don't know that I'd classify it as a poem. It sounded more like an oratory to me than a poem. Call me old fashioned, but to my mind, a poem should rhyme.

Shanra the Dragon Bard
Vice Captain

Devout Worshipper


Vincent SN
Crew

Loyal Gatekeeper

PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, 2009 11:34 pm


Shanra the Dragon Bard
I don't know Vince. It's good, don't get me wrong, but I don't know that I'd classify it as a poem. It sounded more like an oratory to me than a poem. Call me old fashioned, but to my mind, a poem should rhyme.

Lol You see, I used to think the same thing. But, there are many different types of poetry. Freeverse, hiaku, ab rhyme, abcb rhyme, so on so forth. Poetry, in my sense, is anything that expresses ones feelings. But, who knows, I could be wrong. Rhyming, to me, was something I just didn't fit into. Some many thoughts cannot be expressed seriously by rhyme. That's just my opinion though ^^;

_Vince
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