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Rail, needless to say, was trying to keep from letting his exhaustion show. He'd run this show to promote his friend's new bar opening up; word of mouth, though, had certainly assured that half of Durem showed up for the event. Normally Rail would have been in a good mood - after all, 'Primary Egg' had certainly locked in the popularity of the bar for the foreseeable future. For some reason, though, he was tired tonight - and it was late enough to now be 'early.'

Dierk, his dark brown hair messy and in his eyes, was signing autographs at break-neck speed next to Rail. And on Rail's other side, the nearly emotionless Tris, short for Tristan - the name she'd given herself, even though her real name was Kana and her parents were the stiff-necked Japanese type. With her long, straight black hair and her belted concert outfit, she looked like she had never learned how to smile.

Rail knew better, of course; that was just Tris's way. Not that half the people getting Tris's autographed probably cared: those serious eyes and expression probably lent itself to Tris's mysterious image...well, and, she had big tits.

Rail took another notepad being shoved in front of him and scrawled his signature across it. "Ohmigod thankyousomuch!" the female owner of the notebook said, screaming ecstatically as Rail handed it back to her. Rail's sensitive ears flattened against his hair, but he smiled at her and winked.

"All right, okay now," Rail's friend, the bar owner, said - he came out from behind and began pushing the people out of the way. "That's it for tonight folks! Primary Egg has a big concert coming up in the First Durem Arena next week, be sure to check them out!" He whispered out of the corner of his mouth: "Thanks man, I really owe you one for this."

"No problem," Rail said under his breath, waving as flashbulbs went off like strobe lights in his face. "Your debt will be repaid if you can get us out of here."

"Goddammit, I think that girl stole my pen," muttered Dierk from behind.

"At least she didn't steal your pants," Tris said, her voice absolutely monotone as always.

"Shut up guys," Rail said jokingly, forcing another grin and waving some more. Dierk snorted, saying something about Tris's huge tits, which was usually his mode of comeback.

Rail almost pitied Dierk for the knee in the balls he was going to get for that one.

"That's all, folks! That's a wrap!" Rail's friend said, taking Rail by the arm and shepherding the group out through the back of the bar. The door slammed shut, and Dierk heaved a huge SIIIGH of relief.

"Wouldn't be so bad if..." Dierk began, but Rail held up a hand.

"Yeah, I know. Let's just go home. Thanks man," Rail gripped his friend's hand and nodded at him.

"Just go out the back...it's a clear back alley to Park St.," Bal, the bar owner, said. He walked back out into the pandemonium in the bar proper, leaving Rail, Dierk, and Tris standing in the relatively quiet stock room.

Dierk leaned on some of the crates, looking pleased with himself about...whatever. Tris approached him, then kneed him in the balls.

"OW WHAT THE ********!" Dierk howled, grabbing his crotch and whimpering. Rail grinned as Tris tightened one of the many belts adorning her outfit.

"Shut up, let's split," Rail said, turning and heading to the door at the back of the room: EXIT gleamed above it in red neon ******** you Tris!" Dierk said to Tris, although Tris made no indication that she had heard him or cared. Her eyes always had that slightly lidded, deadpan look.

Rail grabbed the handle of the door and pushed the door open. A thin, questionable looking alley faced him as he did: wet from the drizzle outside, crammed with a few trashcans whose tops were on the ground. Graffiti was on the brick walls lining the alley. A stray cat hissed and scampered off down the tiny road, disappearing from sight.

"Oh, that's nice," Dierk said, though his voice was still understandably strained.

"Look's better than your room," Tris said ******** you, my room is clean!"

"Would you shut the hell up?" Rail said, although there wasn't really anything behind the threat. "Or they'll find out where we are, c'mon." He clopped out onto the road, his cloven hooves kicking a lone can into the dumpster sitting across from them. He pulled the collar of his jacket up around him.

"Damn weather."

At first Rail thought he was being robbed. Everything was a jumble of shouting and lights through the rain as Dierk trying to grab the assailant; Rail felt something shoved into his chest - so hard that he almost tripped over his hooves and fell backwards with the thing.

"What the ********?!" Dierk was in the middle of shouting. "Hey! Hey get back here!"

Tris grabbed Dierk's arm as Rail looked up, still holding the Thing in his arms. The man - the person, whoever it was - was...vanished. Gone.

"You okay Rail??" Dierk asked worriedly, turning back. Tris looked over her shoulder.

Rail stared back at him, then looked down at the Thing. He couldn't actually see it at first because it was all shoved beneath his jacket, thanks to the invisible attacker. He pulled it out, staring. Dierk was cautioning that he should make sure it wasn't a bomb when - the head, and the big eyes came into the rainy light.

Rail stared. He was pretty sure Dierk and Tris were also staring. They leaned in closer, staring down at the bundled Thing.

"Ehnmg," the Thing said, blinking up at Rail and waving its chubby, fat arms.

"Oh god," Dierk said, his voice cracking noticeably.

"..." Tris said.

"A...baby?" Rail said, staring down. The Thing was heavy in his arms, and it was wrapped in a blanket. And it was gurgling about something or other and pointing at his face. It was a baby.

A ******** baby.

"...Oh my god WHAT THE HELL."