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 Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 2:12 pm
Why did you lie to me?
Why did you lead me on?
Why did you make me believe
It was forever on your mind?
Why didn't you tell the truth-
I could've handled it-
Been your girl until the next girl came-
Why the game?
I made an easy target-
So quickly i fell in love!
I made it easy for you
To break another heart!
I never thought to question
The words you said to me-
Never thought they might be lies-
Your true feelings in disguise!
Why did you lie to me?
Why did you lead me on?
Why did you make me believe
It was forever on your mind?
Why didn't you tell the truth-
I could've handled it-
Been your girl until the next girl came-
Why the game?
i can't help but think that this poem is missing something...*sigh*
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Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 6:42 pm
yea it felt forced... good but forced...
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Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 4:00 pm
The thing that stood out the most to me was the last line in the first and fith stanzas that say "It was forever on your mind?" Is that correct or is it supposed to be "I was forever on your mind?" If "It" is correct then what is "It" specifically?
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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 3:15 pm
forever itself is it...i think...i dont really like this one...not one of my better poems
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Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:46 pm
Eh, the great thing about poetry is that its never finished. You can always go back and change things. Walt Whitman made many revisions of his works before he died. So theres always time ^.^
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Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:56 am
yep!!!!!!!! bot how to make time is the real problem...every time isit down to write jo crys!!!!!! lol
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Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 11:58 am
Lol. It doesn't take THAT long does it?
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Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:45 am
jo is colicly....she cries all the time and if i calm her then put her down she wakes up and it starts all over again....
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Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:46 am
and as for my poetry...the only chance i get to work on it is like now (i'm at school)...and i prefer to take my time and do it right
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