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Mavole

PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 5:04 pm


[ Message temporarily off-line ]
PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 8:49 pm


Mavole
Excellent advise, Butterballs. That was everything I needed to hear and more.
Youre very right, I have been doing things to make my time special and be truly happy though I am alone in it.
I've been drawing some really amazing things.. (Posted my dev-art if anyone wishes to view) ..and playing games, and basically doing the old things that I enjoyed before a Love Relationship became apart of my everyday life, plus some new things too.
He got online and called me a lot yesterday, yet did not say much to me, suprisingly.
He bought something, and his friend broke it and denied it, so he was really grouchy and lashed out easily at me. Though.. part of me was so happy not to be apart of that, because usually I would coddle him and coo "poor baby, what can I do to help?" and he would say "There's nothing anyone can do," and then leave me there like a wet rag.
I did not give in to this, which I feel prideful about, but nonetheless it felt really relaxing and made me feel a bit stronger... Is that wrong? :/
As his First Girlfriend told me:
Lauren, don?t let him manipulate you and then accuse you of manipulating him...His trademark is to materialize his self-hurt into something you have inflicted, which is not the case. Don?t let him make you the logo or the mascot of his pain because he still loves you and wants you except wont have anything to do with you in other senses
Like the nice senses ?because that isn?t fair
I'd love to hear what you have to say..
I know skygreygirl is going through similar break-up trauma.. What do you all have to say?
heart
Oh, hey, you're welcome. That's my job, or something.

Yeah, that's one of the things that happens when you just come out of a relationship. You have to get used to being alone because you were so accustom to having someone around no matter how good or bad they might have been. You just have to learn to be by yourself, which you're doing right now. It'll make it easier for you the next time that you leave a relationship depending on that relationship. Most likely you'll know how to deal with it better.

Yeah, I think you're right in what you're thinking. You're finally start to take action in what you really want and what you really feel is right rather than giving into whatever he wants or thinks is right. Sure, you might think it's wrong because it's going against something that you've grown accustom to. Most likely it'll subside and soon enough you'll finally realize that you're doing the right thing even eternally (meaning you won't just say you know you're doing the right thing).

I agree with your friend. I was going to say something about it but I really didn't want to be that harsh about it. He sounds like a load of drama to be honest with you, which is fine, but it doesn't seem like that's something that you want in your life right now. I definitely think he manipulates people.

deadp00l7217


Mavole

PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 7:53 pm


Well, things have been going well so far, but I have been confused lately..
I have been hanging out with Kris more, because he actually wants to, and I dont really mind company, so I accept.
I am afraid to tell any of this to Paul, because I know he will flip out and blow it far out of porportion. [As he demonstrated by asking me if we were all a threesome and all that stuff in the first post] I've tried to make this clear with him, but I have this unwritten rule with every male friend I make:
I dont hang out with people who I think will try to score any love-relation with me. If they lack respect, I simply refuse their invitation, I just dont like too many people trying to get into my pants, [so to speak] thanks... [...]
The ones who respect this, and respect me in return, I hang out with.. I dont think Paul can ever grasp this concept reguarding my male friends, because he is either too controlling or too full of self-induced lies that he has literally blocked out the truth. I know he never hangs out with girls, but its because he thinks they are obnoxious. [Der, that's why I get along with guys too, but I can see his point]

[Does anyone see the problem erupting?]

Any Advise about how to Manage this Dilemma?
PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 8:20 pm


Wow. This guy (Paul) is both totally insecure AND full of himself at the same time. He tries to keep you on a VERY short leash doesn't he?

Really though he sounds more like a spoiled child. One who throws inane tantrums when they don't get their ways. And believe me, I have 2 toddlers, so I know all about ridiculous tantrums!

He is trying to control you and keep you under his thumb so to speak. The more he emotionally "beats you down" the less self-confidence/self-esteem you have to see what he's really doing to you.

He knows that if he keeps you worried and wound up enough over him, that you won't leave him. and blowing up over hanging out with innocent friends os a classic example of this behavior.

There is NO justifiable reason for him to react like that over innocently hanging out with friends. And just the fact that you're worried about telling him about it shows some baaaad signs.

So yes, I *do* see a problem errupting. You need to short-stop it by dropping this guy before he turns you into a clingy basket-case. You shouldn't have to be this overly concerned about what your bf will say about you seeing your friends. You're a human, you have rights, and you can see your friends.

I might could understand his problem if you had been/are cheating or exhibiting any other destructive behavior, but (based on your info) you're not, so he's COMPLETELY overreacting. You're NOT his property, don't let him treat you as such.

badloki


Mavole

PostPosted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 10:07 pm


Mavole does not believe in cheating, in fact, I was very much disturbed by watching his previous gf be such a whore, that I felt happy to finally admit I loved him; I could show him that women aren't scum!
Sadly I feel as if he does not appreciate any woman properly enough to know that they would give him the world as long as he treated them with love and respect truthfully.. For a while, a Wonderfully Glorious while, he did just that.
...and we were both the happiest we have both ever been...
I am glad that we are not together anymore for the sole fact that he needs time to sort out the messes he has created in his life, and I need the time to get my life started anyway. We still talk, he still tries to pry, but I just try to keep it calm and collected. Our conversations have been as good and light-hearted as they used to be.
I just worry about the issue from the last post... ninja
Dont worry, O my droogs, I intent not to cheat or any such act.
I believe in keeping as pure, simple, and passionate as possible... Tis a vow I made long ago in my innocence that I strive to succeed at now and for the Future.
heart
PostPosted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 5:35 pm


Grrr rawr... If you want the full scoop you may see my post in BLOG thread...
In short, things are precarious, he dreamt I cheated on him [grr.. he does not realize I am not like that.. after 3 years!!] He told me all this stuff then just left.. even after I said it would in turn make me feel better to talk about it... I was so offended and had this to write:

I warn you now
and I mean this in the nicest way possible

If you dont want to talk to me.. If you would rather pull away... Hide...


Im going to lose strength of my Love for you, because I cant hold onto something that constantly denies wanting to be held to begin with.

[Is that wrong? I dont know what I can say or how to respond to these occurences??]

Mavole


Mavole

PostPosted: Sat Oct 22, 2005 6:30 pm


Okay.. Now he isn't even speaking to me.. and we promised to stay in touch.. What can I do now.. I'm feeling wronged and Used once again... seems to happen far more than it should... What am I to do?

~Sad Mavole  
PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 2:09 pm


I think I've said this before but even though it's very hard to lose touch with him I think and would recommend that you try and stay away from or not talk to him as much because it's supposed to help you a lot. From personal experience I would recommend it because you learn to cope without them and you sort of forget or learn to cope with everything that went wrong in the relationship.

My opinion.

deadp00l7217


Mavole

PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2005 4:14 pm


So I thought this might be appreciated..
Apparetly there was a myspace account made without my knowledge..
After he got mad at me for all of that?
Please
It is emmaculate and ridden with all sorts of his own common complaints.. It is truly amazing..

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=32094633&Mytoken=500CA69D-13C3-11D4-7DCC120F4012B64542101814
rofl
He has gotten upset at me for finding it and saying anything about it.
Tells me he just kinda made it n doesn't check it etc etc...
can I find a nice guy now?
Are there any nice normal men out there? rolleyes
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