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 Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:29 pm
One last breath one last beat
Admitting to myself the ultimate defeat
Take a step and feel no ground
Rushing air the only sound
Not too sure how it came to start
Only know how it all will end
Growing slowly in my heart
The pain I couldn’t fend
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Seconds ticking slowly by
living your life, living a lie
fake a smile and make them laugh
forming this lie has been your craft
oblivious to the world around them
The life to which they've been condemed
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yeah these are my two bag poems from last week, any comments are appreciated
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Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 3:18 pm
I think they are good. I am not sure how good I can critique. I Honestly don't see anything wrong.
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Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:59 pm
I'm just gald someone commented, thank you! biggrin
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Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:40 pm
No problem. 3nodding I'm just happy that you comments my poems. XD
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