![[Belle Morte]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/51/9f/9ede32d1e9f51_flip.png?t=1249425185_6.00_00)
Zaurak
Like someone said earlier, you could definately use a beta reader. There were quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes in there. Which, at least for me, amkes it really hard to read and enjoy properly. Plus, the way you se things up romance wise is kinda...odd. I'm a fan of the type of romances where it takes the characters awhile to realize their feelings and then act upon them. So far it just seems Helga is attracted to Salazar for being "hot;" not exactly a lot of drama involved.
Also, it seems to me like Helga is acting out of character. I know, I know it's teh founders and they don't have a character other than the little we glean from the Sorting Hat song. The problem is, what Helga's cahracter here gives off is something that is at odds with the song. Do you recall, "Kind Hufflepuff she took the rest." Or something along thos lines. XD Anyway, agreeing with Salazar on the matters of purblods is definately something she wouldn't do; even if his body was irresistable. Going agaisnt your morals in order to get into someone's good graces isn't exactly a Hufflepuff House trait.
Pretty good though; you ended it perfectly.
Also, it seems to me like Helga is acting out of character. I know, I know it's teh founders and they don't have a character other than the little we glean from the Sorting Hat song. The problem is, what Helga's cahracter here gives off is something that is at odds with the song. Do you recall, "Kind Hufflepuff she took the rest." Or something along thos lines. XD Anyway, agreeing with Salazar on the matters of purblods is definately something she wouldn't do; even if his body was irresistable. Going agaisnt your morals in order to get into someone's good graces isn't exactly a Hufflepuff House trait.
Pretty good though; you ended it perfectly.
thank you for everything that you said...I agree that I have made quite a few spelling mistakes, and its funny, because when Im reading a fanfic, I always get mad at others for having spelling mistakes, so Im very embarased to see these mistakes in my own fan fic. you will see later on, that I do show how Helga is against her own feelings. and she did find herself agreeing with Severus against her better instincts.
