|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:32 am
explanation:i got a ring for my girlfriend and im going to give it to her, and i make a poem for everything i give her so this is a poem for the ring...
i love you enough,
i love you so much,
were i to ask, would you say yes?
or would you say no?
do you love me enough?
do you love me enough to accept such a thing as a ring?
but alas time is not on my side,
for im not of age, nor have your goals been met,
so i ask, someday, sometime, somewhere under the stars, would you be my bride?
to stay by my side,
for love everlasting?
for happieness eternal?
these are but things i would ask,
someday, sometime, somewhere under the stars...
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:35 am
=D I really really liked this poem. My boyfriend and I are very much in love and I think he means to ask me anytime now. But anyway, like I was saying, this is a beautiful poem! My favorite parts "So i ask, someday, sometime, somewhere under the stars..." I just love the way it sounds. =]
If I could make a suggestion, I think it would make your poem look better if you capitalized the first word on each line. But I don't think it makes that much of a difference.
I can't wait to read more of your work!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 8:22 pm
Wow that is amazing. Brought tears to my eyes. crying In a good way xd
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:58 pm
You should write more of this type of poetry jaffar, it really becomes you. I enjoyed this one a lot.
I especially enjoyed how your rhyming was offbeat.
Favorite line: "do you love me enough to accept such a thing as a ring?"
Once again, bravo friend!
P.S. I'm so happy for you Fluffy Pankakes!!! ^.^ I hope he asks you and its soo magical!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
