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The darkness seeps in heaps (a poem by me!)

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Did you like my poem?
  No,but i didn't hate it!
  Yes,i loved it!
  It was alright!
  No i hated it!
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fishyseaz

PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 1:10 pm


The darkness seeps in heaps.
This eats at my whole soul.
Your so cold.You told them
its not true,well you will rue
this. Who are you to use me,
dont you see the key to bliss for
me starts with you being moral.
Your the cause to this misery.
Look you shoot my life.
You heaved me a miserable life.
And you think its worth in to deny.
Don't even say hi. I want you to die.
First you marose me with you words
then you abuse me and accuse me of lying.
Then i start crying oh darkness!

And btw this is something i wrote in fifth grade!
Please tell me if you like it or not!
And don't forget to comment!
PostPosted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:38 am


User ImageUser Image


i liked it for being written in fifth grade, but it Does need some proofreading....

i love the language you use though.... i hink i can relate to this on some level which is also why i like it.



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x-moon-x-daughter-x


mikeirelav

PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 10:25 am


A fifth grade doing such poem sounded like some disturbed little kid.

And I am in fact feeling overwhelmed when I said "disturbed."
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Poetry / Writing

 
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