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Silver Moon Poetry

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Poetry is what gets lost in translation ~Robert Frost~ 

Tags: poetry, writting, lyrics, haiku, poem 

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Show me you

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ChaosEnvoyXIII

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 8:24 pm


Show me, show me
Show me what you can be
Show me, show me
Come on let me see

Show me, show me
Show me what you can do
Show me, show me
Make me believe in you

Show me, show me
Your power deep inside
Show me, show me
What gives you your pride?

Show me, show me
Show me, your light
Show me, show me
Show me what helps you through this fight

Show me, show me
Your secrets locked inside
Show me, show me
Through your mind

Show me, show me
What makes you sad
Show me, show me
What makes you mad

Show me, show me
What hurts you from the inside out
Show me, show me
What makes you shout

Show me, show me
The real you
Show me, show me
What you can do  
PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:08 am


You know what? I like this. I mean its redundant yes, but in a good way. The only thing I'd attempt to make better is the flow between some of the longer lines and the shorter lines. Its nothing too big and doesn't make it a bad poem. Like I said I do like it. It almost struck me as song lyrics, maybe techno. ^.^

Scazarith
Crew


ChaosEnvoyXIII

PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:55 am


thanks yea i thought it up like a song while i was sitting outside so yea i'll keep working on my flow
PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 6:41 pm


anyone else hav a opinion to say? i wanna hear em

ChaosEnvoyXIII

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[[POETRY]] - {{Misc.}}

 
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