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One of my poems!

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Rockinyoursocks

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:36 am


Print My Negative


The photo on the camera it was so happy and beautiful.

It was awesome and special, colorful and bright.

Light with no dark, no tears, no pain.

But the negative version, its not so nice.

It has pain, tears and even darkness.

There is no light, no joy, no color.

So print my negative please.

I want the one before, the one thats bright.

The one thats special, the one that fills my heart with joy.

But that photo is not here is gone away.

To the shutter frame, where they never return until u print them again.

So please can i have my photo back?

I want it back, the joy the life.

I want my photo printed, and back to bright.

So i can lock away the negative sight.

I hate this feeling, this feeling of woe.

The negative one, it shouldn't be so.

Its true what they say about the two sides.

How there is always a negative part.

So can we go back to when it was beautiful and bright?

To get this negative out of sight.

So please can you print my negative?
PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:38 am


anyone? comments?

Rockinyoursocks

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:04 am


I have to say that the imagery did not catch me right off. I think the descriptive wording was a bit lackluster and the tale itself a bit strange, as you go from wanting the negative to the true photo. To have to have the negative to have the positive. Overall, I'd say this might need to be looked at and changed a bit to make it flow a bit better, it's interesting though.
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Poetry / Writing

 
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