|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 6:58 pm
M.
He's lost his way, not known where to turn
Seen as one most desirable
But his soul is alight with turmoil
Always two fighting sides
And I alone stand by him
Helping him survive
Thanks for any comments. Sorry if this isn't all that great, I'm just trying to improve.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:07 am
It's a good short poem though the first line might be better if put like this: "He's lost his way, not knowing where to turn." I think my favorite line is the third with the conflict of "soul is alight with turmoil". It's very nicely put! Keep it up!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 11:46 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
