|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 2:38 pm
One of my closest friends is pregnant. She's just turned seventeen. I don't agree with a single choice she's made, from how she ended up pregnant to what she's planning on now. She got pregnant because her and her just as irresponsible boyfriend thought that they didn't need to use condoms. They thought they could chart out her cycle so they wouldn't get pregnant. We see how well that worked.
Anyway, now she's planning on keeping it. Another decision that irks me. She can hardly take care of herself. Now she claims she's looking out for the best interest of her baby. Yeah, ok.
I'm mad at her all the time because of this. And every day she gets bigger, I get more and more urges to avoid her. But she needs me. How can I deal with this?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 4:05 pm
You need to learn to accept it. It's a life skill that everyone needs. You can't change her decisions. You're not her. And since you're her friend, you should support her... but you know what? That's not always true.
Sometimes, if you really can't deal, it's time to let go or to distance yourself. A good friend will understand. She shouldn't (and it doesn't sound like she is) forcing you to help her deal. She shouldn't be dragging you into the mess if you don't want to be there. I've been in a similar situation and you really should just do what you need to do.
Don't Baby Her. She made an adult decision and she needs to deal with it. It sounds like she wants to do this to the end and so good for her. She wants to keep the baby and be a mother and that means to some extent she needs to be self-sufficent.
Go to her baby shower, tell her she's doing great, but don't do things you don't want to do because you feel obligated. You aren't obilgated. She's having the baby - you aren't. A friend doesn't mean "come to my beck and call" it means support... and it's only as much as you can give without being untrue to yourself. Fake support is worse than none.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 6:47 pm
Captain v****a One of my closest friends is pregnant. She's just turned seventeen. I don't agree with a single choice she's made, from how she ended up pregnant to what she's planning on now. She got pregnant because her and her just as irresponsible boyfriend thought that they didn't need to use condoms. They thought they could chart out her cycle so they wouldn't get pregnant. We see how well that worked. Anyway, now she's planning on keeping it. Another decision that irks me. She can hardly take care of herself. Now she claims she's looking out for the best interest of her baby. Yeah, ok. I'm mad at her all the time because of this. And every day she gets bigger, I get more and more urges to avoid her. But she needs me. How can I deal with this? You sound a lot like me. I know if I had a close friend who was my age, and got pregnant, I'd probably feel a lot like you do. Hell, I go to LI and see people my age who are pregnant, and it really upsets me sometimes too. However I will agree with Yukito Yu in this: Quote: Sometimes, if you really can't deal, it's time to let go or to distance yourself. A good friend will understand. She shouldn't (and it doesn't sound like she is) forcing you to help her deal. She shouldn't be dragging you into the mess if you don't want to be there. I've been in a similar situation and you really should just do what you need to do.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 1:25 am
You can't control what other people do or think, and you can't say that they are completly wrong when your only looking from your point of view.
If they were iresponcible, gosh darn it, look they get the ultimate lesson.
If she wants to keep the baby, then gosh darn it, guess what she is going to do whether you want it or not.
You have to learn to accept things and people, or you might be the Hitler of tomorow.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:08 am
If she can hardly take care of herself then I think it's more important that you stick by her to support her. Can her parents not help out?
Even if she seems calm and relaxed about having a baby it will still be an emotion experience for her so it's important that she makes her own decisions, unless they are stupid. If that's the case then she needs help. Try to be a good friend and support her. Once the baby arrives you might grow to like it yourself and repect why she made the decision.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 9:14 am
Thanks everyone. I'll try to take your suggestions. sweatdrop
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 2:49 am
Captain v****a Thanks everyone. I'll try to take your suggestions. sweatdrop I hope she's learned to not use the "rhythm" method anymore.... stare What about her boyfriend? Is he in the picture or is she going to get him to pay child support? She should probably figure that out soon.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 7:59 pm
If it bothers you that much then you need to tell her that it is in your best intrests to stop talking to her. She stresses you out about the mistakes shes made and continuous mistakes that she makes. Dont let her drag you down with her, your still smart and trust me although it hurts when you loose a friend, in the end you will be the better for it. Dont surround youself with people who bring you down, even if that means loosing a few friends in the process.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Nov 21, 2005 9:40 pm
I also agree with Yukito Yu a lot on this one. I also believe that you should make sure she's alright before you 'check out.' I've had friends who are extremely emotional.. and even some who aren't... just make sure she may not be a threat to herself, as well as the baby. It's a ton and a half of emotional, mental, and physical stress on someone, especially a teenager. As far as keeping the baby goes, you can honestly only be so much influence on her decision. But if you want to talk to her about it, let her know that, basically, her life stops here. No more parties, no more crazy nights out; forget fun trips or events for a while. And what about her future? School? College? A good career? And not just herself- the child, too. Is it fair to be raised in a possibly single-parent enviroment, by a parent who is practically still a child themselves?
Whatever you or she decides to do, good luck. I know from experience this is a very, very difficult ordeal.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 11, 2006 6:49 am
well you could always try talking to her but stress could take a tole on the baby so you may want to talk to her after she has the baby
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:39 pm
that's her choice.
sure she messed up. sure she's going to be paying for it for the rest of her life but it may be the best thing that happens to her. it could change her life around. that's what happend to my sister.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
![[C]herry[B]lossom's avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/2a/16/2c11eb024162a_flip.png?t=1556182476_6.00_11)
![[[diabolic]]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/aa/e2/22f65a2d25e2aa_flip.png?t=1361511747_6.00_01)
