Welcome to Gaia! ::

no this is all normal, i know may not feel like it but it is, i've been going to a class on stuff like this and all your doing is just venting. venting is good cause if you didnt then you would be hurting and then finally you would break. and i know this is going to be weird but caring for someone that hurt you is normal and hurting them because of your pain is normal. but you are no monster for making a girl cry. but the thing is afterward when they think they deserved it means that there is something wrong in their mind for making them think that they deserve it. and the truth is always good no matter if it hurts and making them cry because you are saying the truth is not your fault. and hurting the people that care about you and wanting them to feel your pain is no where from unusual..... and the situation for making someone hurt inside is not right though its just not having them hurt in side they are hurting in side because they are not letting any one know whats going on in there mind or there life. this is all normal kinda but dont worry you have people to care for you and will help you through anything no matter what.

thanks guys, i've always just held myself to a higher standard, what i did felt really low and it made me feel like i was slipping from the person i was proud to be, i gave into anger and pain when i would normally suck it up and keep going
thanks for being there

yeah were here for you even if you dont need us or if were not allowed around you