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 Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 10:45 pm
It's one foot
in front,
and forever
behind, the other.
Mark a map
where you started
feeling
disappointed,
only to finish
here.
Bathed in beauty
and color
come creepin'.
Set in stone,
hollow bones
beneath,
homes dressed as
hills.
Draped in green,
growing skin,
they all bloom
as they
wilt.
And I will
spend
the busy currency
of withered,
wasted days.
And I will
stretch myself
to fill
the holes that
you have made.
Maybe
this distance
doesn't mean
to be
traveled.
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 9:08 pm
Again and again I am reminded how alike and different you are from Remy. Clearly you're just as talented--but in an Alec way.
The writing was very clear, very simple, very short. Just a few words got to the point; that's not something everyone can do. The divisions of the lines really added to the poem, gave it a sort of edge, not really anything I can describe; the effect, though, was amazing.
As for the subject matter, I really hope this isn't based on personal experience. surprised sad It sounded so sad. And resigned. And it struck a chord with me. I could understand the meaning, and relate, in a way....
Overall, I do believe this is worthy of my wall. wink May I?
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Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 4:01 am
Bravo, sir. This well written poem is short but very sweet. The ephemeral lines are meaningful and paint well the tone of your work.
This poem, methinks, would strike a chord in any who would read it. It laments the nearness of heaven lost which...well, on some level..makes it also seem as if it were impossibly far away as it is when you cross the point of no return. Very good again, I say, sir.
I look forward to more of your works. (No pressure. I am just new and this is one of the best poems I've read in the forum. I will, however, keep an eye out for your username...in a non-creepy/stalker-like manner. Thank you for sharing.
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