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 Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 10:45 am
Jus cuz I'm 12 haytaz try to smack me wit reality/
But reality won't stop me from causin' great fatality/
My mouth is the barrel/
...and the words are the bullets/
Shootin' haytaz down cuz my rhymes are the fullest/
I'll leave you baffled/
At how much I can do/
Then I'll finish you/
How? By choppin' you foo!/
It's like my words know kung-fu/
Yeah I know the end was pretty weak but I am just begginer sweatdrop ...
Tell me how I did...
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Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2008 2:48 pm
Your structure is different from how we normally do it around here, but it flows together. Overall better than your first.
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Jaiden Stryker Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 3:28 pm
I kind of liked it.
But, YOUR THE ONLY FAGOT THINKING PEOPLE ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU BEING TWELVE.
we were just casually saying..."Oh,he's twelve".
xd
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Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2008 4:34 pm
I'm not complainin' bout that stuff. I just put it in there. sweatdrop
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