My Childhood
I only remember bits and pieces, for I have blocked most of the memories from my mind. However some of them are embedded deep within me, how could I forget them?
I thought I was a normal little girl, and I tried to play with the other kids, as if I were. But I wasn't normal, and the other kids could tell.
My eyes darted around the room, watching the faces that stared at me, their eyes curious, judging. I could see the emotions clearly behind their eyes, and I knew what each one of them was feeling. They didn't like me, because I was different. They didn't like how I was so quite, so awkward. At times, when I would use my magic, they would call me a freak, a witch. I tried to block out the emotions that rolled over me from each of their faces, but it was hard. I couldn't look at them the same way other children did, I couldn't talk to them the same way. When I did have something to say, they would only look at me with a strange expression, and then they would ignore me. So I stopped talking to them at all. I was a quite girl, always in the background, barely even noticed by others. But I noticed them, I noticed all of them. Some of the more braver children would speak to me sometimes, but it was only with cruel words. They would call me names and try to hurt me. I tried not to use any magic around them, it only caused me to endure more ridicule. But one day....I couldn't fight it. I knew what I was, they knew what I was. Why did I try to hide it, to fight against what I really was? The other children...they wouldn't stop...the torture...the hurt...and I couldn't stop myself...It was the first time I ever used a spell like that, turning one of them into a toad. But it worked, they feared me. They wouldn't come near me at all after that. And I found myself more ostracized. My parents didn't know what was going on, they wouldn't understand. If it weren't for their love...I might not have made it through. How they could love me, I didn't understand, but somehow they managed.
It was hard for me to leave them, the only ones that loved me, but I had to. I had to get away from my home, and find a new place. I knew there had to be somewhere better. And I knew my parents would be better off without a child such as I. So I left home. I wandered for a long time, living in the shadows, amongst the trees in the forest, coming out only at night. I was still afraid to use my magic, even then. It wasn't for a long time that I was able to use it again. That's when I came to Namiah. It was Halloween, and talk of witches and ghosts was something the people talked about excitedly. It surprised me at first, but then I thought, maybe here, maybe now I could fit in. And I did. No one found it strange that I was different, that I was...a witch, that I could use magic and cast spells. I learned to embrace that part of me that I had pushed away for so long. I came to love Namiah, and in time, to even love myself. It was easier than I thought, because there were people here, and namrah here that accepted me. The place I had dreamed of did exist, and I was glad that I had found it.
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