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[Quest] Gallard Belhomme [Still here. Crit...?]

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giftwrapped

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:05 am


What's this? Gift is making another quest?

Why, yes, I am. I was given the go-ahead to write my other quest character, whom I thought up and have been battling with since before Dami was accepted. I'll be thrilled with whichever student I get (if I, in fact, get either), and I'm just glad to have the opportunity to let both of these boys out for air.

OPEN FOR CRITIQUE.

Strong critique is encouraged; critique of all sorts is welcome.


I’d prefer you not attack me too angrily in-thread if I’ve stepped on toes and you’re pissed—if that happens, just PM me. If I’ve accidentally stolen one of your concepts, just let me know and I’ll be glad to change it. I’m a very reasonable person when it comes to that sort of thing.


01:. Introduction/Contents
02:. Updates/Changes
03:. About me
04:. Gallard
05:. Family
06:. History
07:. RP Sample
08:. Important Opinions
09:. Thanks/Credits
PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:06 am


UPDATES


01/15/2009: Yep, still here. Cleaning up a bit, I suppose.

07/24/2008: RP sample (FINALLY) up!
7/15/2008: Comments from Zan, hopefully cleared up!
7/05/2008: Slight edits to his personality that should clear things up. <3333
7/04/2008: Critique from Kaitsu! THX! <333
7/03/2008: Setting up the thread!
........Later: History up! All that's left is the RP sample. OPEN FOR CRITIQUE.

giftwrapped


giftwrapped

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:07 am


THE PLAYER


.:Username:. giftwrapped
.:Real Name:. Classified. But my initials spell “emo.”
.:Nicknames:. Gift, Pandy (the latter is less common since my username changed to giftwrapped from Teh Pandy)
.:Age:. Eighteen

.:Likes:. Drawing, roleplaying, pretty art, reading, literature, essaying, writing fiction, breedables, horseback riding (eventing), English, bad puns, cooking, Shakespeare.
. biggrin islikes:. Things that hurt, things that smell bad, broken bones, bad meat, nasty surprises, misinterpreting things, being yelled at, drama, immaturity, intolerance.
.:Hobbies:. Drawing, roleplaying, horseback riding, doing homework, getting ready for (gasp) college.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:07 am


THE BOY


.:Name:. Gallard Parfait Belhomme (He tells everyone his middle name is Emile)
. razz ronunciation:. Ga-lar Par-fey (Eh-meel) Bel-ohm

.:Etymology:.
.Gallard. Old French origin; French nationality; from “gay and lively,” also “a dandy”.
.Parfait. French origin; French nationality; “perfect”
......Emile. Latin origin; French Nationality; from Emil: “flatterer”
.Belhomme. Parisian/French origin; French nationality; “the good man”
.:Nicknames:. His mother calls him Blondelle (little fair one). He’d die if anyone found that out.
.:Age:. Thirteen
.:Birthday:. July 14, 2008
.:Nationality:. French
.:Ethnicity:. Swiss/French
.:Appearance:.
.Skin. Creamy pale, and exceptionally clear—burns almost immediately in strong sunlight
.Hair. Dirty blonde and sleek. Cut a little raggedly and often looks messy, as if he just took a hat off. (He probably did.)
.Eyes. Hazel-green
.Height. 5’3.5”
.Build. Slim bordering on petite
.Attire. Gallard has two manners of dress: casual-wear, and "work-wear," the 'uniform' he wears when during his street-theatre performances.
.....Casual: Just about anything. Gallard dresses rather eccentrically, in a whirlwind blend of colours and styles and also occasionally genders. He rather likes boots with
.....heels, and he loves scarves and ascots of all sorts. Most everything he wears is fitted to his slight form, and he loves to be showy...though he (almost) always wears a
.....black beret.
.....Work: Well-fitted, slim black trousers; black socks; neat black shoes; a fitted turtleneck or mock-turtleneck sweater in black, white, or wide, horizontal black-and-white
.....stripes; an ascot, tied at his right shoulder, in either crimson or peacock blue; and a black beret.

. razz ersonality:. Gallard is, to be frank, everything one expects in a young French boy, particularly one raised in a bohemian lifestyle by an ex-model. He is flamboyant and enthusiastic, often making wild gestures and throwing his arms out wide to make a point, speaking in the floweriest of terms when he’s trying to look important and cleverer than he is. Not to say Gallard isn’t clever—he has inherited his mother’s shrewd wit, and also her penchant for being self-centered. Gallard has escaped the worst of this, but he is certainly not a selfless charity-raiser, sacrificing himself for the good of mankind. He takes care of himself and the people he cares about first, other people second—if he decides to help the other people.

Aware that he is quite a bit more knowledgeable in some areas than many people, he loves sharing and chances to prove his intelligence and wit—and it makes him come off as a bit of a snob. But when people look past that, they find a very well-informed young man who knows exactly what he’s talking about and loves to share it with people. Gallard loves sharing everything—this even extends to food. He also love sharing his feelings with the world...expressively. Extremely melodramatic, he has a surprisingly feminine vicious streak. Sleights to his ego can come in any form for Gallard, though they are mostly imagined mockery of his dramatic airs or what he considers deliberate attempts to undermine either his knowledge or his artistic performance.

And, in true form, Gallard is a greatly affectionate child. He loves hugging and making little gestures of all sorts to people he loves, and he absolutely adores making the people he cares about happy. He throws himself wholeheartedly into relationships—this extends both to love of all sorts and to enmity—and treats it all with the same air of a dramatiste that he does everything.

He works hard at the things he thinks he should and is lazy about other things—but if he’s told to do them, he generally gets it done. The things he thinks he should work at are generally things that make sense—school, his chores, doing anything he can to help his mother—but not always. His art (street theatre) takes precedence over all the rest of the things—except possibly his mother. It wouldn’t be fair to call Gallard a momma’s boy, but it also wouldn’t be too far from the truth. He loves his mother and wants for her to have everything she used to have. Whether this is because this is how his mother taught him to feel or because Gallard is generally compassionate? That’s a mystery.

.Meyers-Briggs type. ENFP::The Advocate:: "ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it."

Extraverted, intuation, feeling, perceiving—active, extraverted people with extremely social tendencies, generally extremely expressive. Outgoing dramatist.

.:Likes:. beautiful things, good food, high fashion, elaborate preparations, listening to other people’s conversations, watching the world go past, performing, wine, smoking, looking cultured, telling stories, giving tours.
. biggrin islikes:. rainy days, ugliness, pain, Americans, badly-prepared food, mold/mildew/rot, rats, mice, various other rodents, being scorned, losing things, not being in control, people who upstage him, forgetting his English, being hushed, people who “do not understand art”
.:Hobbies:. art/theatergoing, performance art (mime and living statue), writing, watching old films
.:Quirks:. cannot write without speaking out the words under his breath, especially when doing dictation; often forgets English, especially when excited or emotional
.:Vices:. Smoking and gossiping


.:Aptitudes:. Performing, reading and writing, memorization sciences like biology
.:Intelligences:. Verbal/linguistic (primary), intrapersonal (secondary), interpersonal (tertiary)
.:Talents:. Excellent aural memory. Gallard can remember everything he hears with exceptional accuracy. Generally, this extends not very far back in time—he can probably recite a short conversation from last week with no problem, but if you ask him what so-and-so said a month ago, he doesn’t generally recall any better than a person without his exceptional aptitude does. He works quickly and can memorize a film after watching it only once or twice—but again, he generally forgets much of it after a few days. This talent makes him an excellent choice to take dictation, and it extends to foreign languages. Even if Gallard doesn’t understand it, he remembers the sounds. Unfortunately, to seal things, particularly when he’s writing them down, Gallard repeats them to himself—aloud. It’s not something he can turn off, and he finds it difficult to concentrate when he can’t mutter to himself in French.

His skill taking dictation in English is sadly limited, since Gallard has to translate everything back to French—he does not yet understand English well enough to work in it effortlessly.

.Note. Gallard cannot simply rattle off an entire conversation if someone, for example, says, “What were we saying on Friday?” His talent is more like, if someone is telling a story and mentions what he said the other day, if Gallard was there, he will correct that person with exactly what they did say. He needs to be reminded of the conversation and the context before he can remember what was said.

As unusual as it seems, Gallard is extremely good at sitting still for long periods of time—very still. As in, unmoving. It’s not much of a talent, but he can perform living statue for hours and has done so on occasion, to prove a point. He’s also very good at mime. (He discovered performance art at an early age and has worked hard on perfecting it.)

giftwrapped


giftwrapped

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:08 am


FAMILY


.:Mother:.
.:Name:. Vivienne Belhomme
.:About:. Gallard’s loving mother, Vivienne wants nothing more than the best for her son. A former high fashion model, she knows all about the world of the artiste, even if she is no longer a part of it (though she insists she is, and anyone who doesn’t know who she is must be sorely deprived of culture). Still as bohemian (and pigheaded) as ever, she has somehow managed to keep scratching out a living, even if her career has been destroyed and her finances more or less sapped.

.:Father:.
.:Name:. Henri Rausis
.:About:. Highly successful, Henri’s devotion to his family comes second only to his devotion to his profession. He doesn’t mind that he never married Vivienne but has no qualms accepting Gallard as his own son. He spoils Gallard when he sees him, but other than that, he tends to simply forget he exists at all. Occasionally, he offers Vivienne aid, but the prideful Parisian hasn’t accepted yet, and he’s not expecting her to any time soon.

.:Half-Sister:.
.:Name:. Corinne Rausis
.:About:. Elder, from their father’s failed marriage. In her early twenties, she is an extremely successful young woman and rather enjoys doting on her little brother, when she can escape work, university, and her father’s expectations.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:09 am


HISTORY


Vivienne Belhomme was a high-fashion model, spending months of every year bedecked in some of the most brilliant new clothing of the time. A shrewd, proud, fashionable trendsetter, she was in the heart of Paris events, doing popular and glamourous things with popular and glamourous people. She was a celebrity, especially in her own head, and everyone who was anyone knew her name. She met married, highly successful banker Henri Rausis at a fashionable gala one warm summer evening, and the two struck up a friendship that eventually resulted in romance and—surprise—Gallard. Alerted by Vivienne of his son’s impending arrival, Henri elected to immediately tell his wife and daughter. His wife divorced him. Henri fought for custody of his daughter and won. He never offered to marry Vivienne, but did offer her alimony. Vivienne refused.

In the panic briefly caused by the Earthian wars, Vivienne found herself without a job for a bit. Still too prideful to accept Henri’s aid, she instead took up work as a secretary to support herself and her young son until things righted themselves and the fashion industry came upright again. She thrived once again in the spotlight, taking along her darling son to all the great cultural events of the time. Gallard grew up in the thick of things; bright and charming, he was as grand a prop as any handbag. Vivienne made sure he had the best of everything—including education. She had great plans for her son. She sent him to theatre classes on weekends and during school holidays, and Gallard learned how to act. He also learned performance art like living statue and mime—and these fascinated him so much more than memorizing and reading lines, particularly since he could hear a scene once and know his part. Mime required true skill, and he liked that challenge. Vivienne was prepared to send Gallard to an illustrious boarding school in the French countryside when he was twelve.

These plans were cut short by the invasion. The Aliens ripped into Paris. In the panic, Vivienne and Gallard managed to escape to Switzerland, where they met up with Henri and his daughter Corinne and fled into the Alps. Gallard had, of course, never met his father, and he was fascinated by the man, though he never really accepted him as anything more than an uncle. The family lived together and grew fairly close until the attackers were again driven off, and Gallard and Vivienne could return to Paris. Henri escaped the ordeal mercifully unscathed—the bank he worked at did not fail during the attacks, and he emerged still greatly wealthy and highly successful.

Vivienne knew her original life and plans in gay Paree had been completely shattered, but she was determined to continue living in the place she had grown up, and the place she was fiercely proud of. Gallard, of course, returned with her. They moved into a much smaller, dirtier flat than they had ever previously occupied. Vivienne again took up work as a secretary, and Gallard returned to his studies—not at a fancy school but instead in one of the Catholic schools within Paris. He continued on with his passion for theatre and performance art, though, and discovered that he could supplement his mother’s reduced income (or rather, provide for any frivolous little things he wanted) by miming on street corners.

He still had great plans to someday attend a famous school and become a wealthy man. Deciding that English would be essential in his future, he voluntarily studied it, though he has not yet mastered it and still has to think about it on occasion. When offered the chance to attend Shinkami, he realized it would be a great way to help restore the things his mother (and he) once had, and to bring the world back to the way it had been. And, naturally, he applied.

giftwrapped


giftwrapped

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:10 am


RP SAMPLE


Note: Unless otherwise specified, all dialogue is in French.

“Maman! Maman, I need your help!”

Gallard only called out reluctantly, but he most certainly wasn’t going to be able to solve this particular problem on his own. He knew; he had tried. Sighing softly, Gallard put his hands on his hips, but his head to one side, and squinted at the last of his packing. No matter how he tried, no matter how much he pushed and pulled and jumped up and down on it, the steamer trunk just would not close. By the time his mother finally arrived, he had broken down and was practicing his English—which was a very good language to swear in, he had decided—by swearing emphatically at it. Only Maman’s soft cough broke his concentration. He looked up at her, scowling.

“Maman, the trunk is too small,” he said, pointing an accusing finger at it. His mother looked at the steamer, walked around it, opened it, pushed down on the lid, and then crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at Gallard. “You see?” Gallard demanded, throwing his hands into the air. “The trunk; it is too small! How am I to take it with me if I cannot even get it to close?” he demanded, putting his hands on his hips and glaring petulantly at the trunk.

“I think perhaps you are...overreacting,” his mother said slowly, putting her hand on Gallard’s shoulders. The boy squalled and turned his glare on the woman, stomping his foot and pointing at the chest. It certainly was too small; otherwise, his clothes would fit in it! His mother had supplied him with faulty secondhand luggage! Snarling, he stomped his foot again and put his hands on his hips.

“I am not overreacting, Maman! The trunk is too small!” His mother merely raised her eyebrows: the first (and only) warning before she exploded into a rage. Gallard took the hint. Scowling, he shook his head so hard that his beret flopped down his head and into his eyes. “It will not close,” he began, in a slightly more reasonable tone. “And I have packed it carefully, just as you taught me.” He opened the lid once more, showing his mother—with quite a bit of pride—how neatly he had packed his rather eclectic wardrobe. He watched his mother’s face.

“...Is that my scarf?” she asked after a moment, reaching in and pulling out a length of brilliant red silk with a Chinese dragon pattern. Gallard looked at her in shock, but remained quiet. This would probably not end well. Gallard had...borrowed quite a bit from Vivienne over the years, and while she had never noticed, she would certainly not appreciate his taking it all overseas to the school. He chewed his lip and kept watching. His mother draped the scarf over her arm and looked into the trunk again. “That was my scarf...these are my earrings...and that is my sweater!” Pulling the oatmeal-coloured turtleneck from the trunk, she held it up and turned to glare at Gallard. “Blondelle! How much of my clothing have you pilfered away in your trunk?”

Gallard looked down, feeling his cheeks burn. “...A bit, Maman,” he offered. His mother drew in a sharp breath, but then hissed it out and shook her head. Gallard waited a bit before chancing to glance up at her, and was rewarded with a rather tight smile. She was obviously trying very hard not to laugh. “I am sorry, Maman. You were not missing the clothes, and they were so lovely. I could not leave them.” His mother shook her head slowly, and knelt down in front of the trunk.

“So how much of this is mine?” she asked. Gallard shrugged.

“A bit...maybe a quarter?”

He winced at his mother’s sharp look but smiled when she softened again and started taking out the pieces, one by one. Gallard ventured to kneel down beside her and was rewarded with a warm smile. “We’ll sort it out and then you should have enough room,” she said. Gallard nodded and smiled, pulling out a carefully-hidden cameo brooch and setting it aside, on the growing pile of things that were not his. It was a good thing he didn’t have to leave until tomorrow.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:11 am


IMPORTANT OPINIONS


Well, Gallard, how do you feel about...

...nonhumans? I....do not think I could tell you that. I have never met one, I do not think. But perhaps they are like everyone else, oui? I cannot think they are so different from us, though I can understand why they would hate us. Humans can be so......distasteful, yes?

...Aliens? They destroyed my home and brought ruin to my mother. They brought about the divorce of my father and they are the reason we all now live in fear and ruin. They have brought nothing but pain and evil...and for this I cannot forgive them.

...that's a bit...poetic, isn't it? All right, perhaps I am being a dramatiste again. Oh, how Mother would laugh at me. But truly, I have nothing but bad feelings about those Étrangers.

...and—this is the important one—saving the world? I’d like to do it, if I can help. I don’t know if I’d be much use—but maybe they could keep me on to write things for them. I’d like that. It would be nice to really help, oui?

...even if it means leaving your family and country behind? Well...I suppose so. I mean...these Celestial beings have taken everything away from my mother. I lost the school and the theatrical training I wished for. But I am one of the lucky ones. I have seen the men in the streets who were once great men. Some children I go to school with have nowhere to go now because of what happened. It is tré horrible. I would like to do something for them all, if I can.

giftwrapped


giftwrapped

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:13 am


CREDITS


SSoS belongs to Tooaya (duh.)
ENFP personality type explanation quoted from this page right here
Other stuff belongs to other people!
PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 6:01 pm


He sounds fun. I bet he and Wei would probably have a love-hate relationship in which they agree in opinions and lifestyles but would disagree because they'd constantly being having a silent 'I'm-better-than-you'-off.

But that would be fun.

Okay well my only problem is that I the whole 'I'm a structured being' contradicts the 'flamboyant and enthusiastic' thing. I understand that that's kinda French culture and how he was raised but I think the imbalance would be easily fixed if he was less flamboyant more serious or if his style of clothing was a little less structured high-class like.

I'm guessing he's Science, though personally I think that since he's such an artistic being Magic might end up calling more to his soul. Dunno, your choice. Just how I see it.

The whole mime-ing thing as a talent is explained in the history but I was first confused at this just reading it in the first post about him. So maybe add that little fact from the history there so that other readings aren't so confused.

He makes me think of Rainbows. >w<'

Weiyuan Leung


giftwrapped

PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 6:08 pm


Thanks!

This is like....rough draft so if that's all I really need to clean up, that's nice. I'll get right to the changes and let you know so you can check them out. :3

Thanks again!
PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:08 pm


So uh... my brain kind of died halfway through that. It's a LOT. It's very good and very detailed and I positively love him. He's such a typical little French boy. I love theater and whatnot, so I find him very awesome and well developed. Also, this is just my opinion, since I can't crit things for my life.

However... what's he do? Dictate languages and stuff? That seems to be the common fall back options I'm seeing with these applications. No offense. But I see that language has become the common option. It doesn't really set him apart. I see a very well developed character, but not perhaps one that is altogether useful to the school.

Would he be a magic student? What would he study? I dunno if there are fields for language and secretarial jobs at ShinKami... I could be completely wrong (since I don't have the chart in front of me)... but... what really makes him special and stand out from everybody else?

Please don't think I'm being harsh. I'm really not trying to be mean or anything, so if I sound that way, please forgive me. But the only thing I -know- that's important for a student is WHY he's attending ShinKami. So that's truly the only thing I can base my opinions on. Especially when as a normal character I really love him. ^^; Sorry if I'm extremely unhelpful.

Teh Zan


giftwrapped

PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:38 pm


Actually, Gallard's talent has nothing to do with language. He takes dictation because that's something his talent actual allows him to be good at.

Gallard only speaks French and English...and he doesn't speak English very well. He has a tendency to forget it when he gets excited. What Gallard does have is a flawless short-term aural memory. Gallard doesn't know languages. Gallard remembers what he hears. He doesn't understand it if it's not his language.

And as for his branch, well......I'm not sure. He's a bright young man, very artistic but also quite good at remembering things.

Since he has the potential to learn and has his memory, he can technically go in either direction, and he'll be wonderful as a research assistant, since whoever he's working with can just talk and he'll keep it all logged away in his happy little French head. Honestly, I think he’d probably end up in a researching branch of either Science or Magic, since he isn’t a combatant sort or built enough to be an active soldier sort of child.
PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2008 11:05 am


RP SAMPLE UP!

giftwrapped


giftwrapped

PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2009 12:39 pm


I guess if there's crit to be had, I'll take it. He hasn't changed since I put him up, but hey, if you wanna say something, I'll listen.
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