I could really use some advice here, if you don't mind the long post.
-I have a boyfriend, we have been fighting a lot lately, but he claims he still loves me, but I think I'm the problem.
-My best friend very much likes and flirts with my boyfriend.
-I'm suicidal.
-I cut.
-I have an eating disorder that I've been struggling with for a year.
-I'm a very jealous person at times, and I can be very selfish, impatient, and just an overall b***h.
My behaviors, like the way I am, (see last bullet) is starting to really get to my boyfriend. This past week has really shown him that I wasn't kidding when I said those things about myself, and it feels to me like he doesn't love me like he said he did anymore. Just yesterday, (which was also my birthday) my best friend and my boyfriend went to the mall with me. She flirts with him so much, whether she realizes it or not. It bothers me, I told him and her this, and he just called me clingy and told me I need to back off.
Whenever I get into my suicidal thoughts, (and I recently attempted again on Friday) both my boyfriend and best friend get extremely angry with me and refuse to talk to me. They both know that I'm very paranoid and sensitive, and they probably know it doesn't help when they get angry. They do it anyway.
I'm afraid to lose my boyfriend to my best friend. They've dated before, many years ago, and he claims there is no feeling for her, but he does flirt. I know thats just a normal thing to do and everyone does it, because I realize I do it to. It just bothers me more because I know she likes him.
I know why I'm clingy, but it sounds like an excuse. Everything I say sounds like an excuse to him...I really do love him to death, but it's really my fault that we're fighting.
Any advice on how I can change my obsessive behaviors?
