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 Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:55 pm
It all starts like this:
A few months ago an old friend shows up at my door. I hadn't seen them since sophomore year in high school 8 years ago. She left school pregnant by an older man just after her father's tragic death. We talked about what we had done since we last saw each other an apparently she had another kid and was living in Tahoe (I live in California about a day away from Tahoe).
We went out to a bar since now we are legal to drink, and she acted just like she did back in sophomore year. I later thought on the way back that I was lucky that she forgot her ID since she wanted to go out to a bar where she could get alcohol without one, get plowed and then drive back to a friends house. Apparently the older man who got her pregnant the first time still lived in the area and he came and offered to get her some drinks. At that point I had her take me back home saying a friend back home wanted to call me on the house phone and not my cell because it was low on battery (just a lie to get her to take me home).
I realized that she hadn't changed since HS, and I really didn't want to hang out with her anymore because of her telling me she wanted to drink and drive, and party. It also sounded like she didn't care about where her kids were either. She still had her harebrained ideas of getting money quick with doing this or that, and it just really turned me off.
Well today I get a message from her and she wanted to hang out this week. I told her the truth that I had summer school from 7am to 9pm, and that I was planning on hanging out with other friends this weekend. It was a good thing too because the friends she wanted to hang with were people I really don't like....
How do I break relations with her permanently, yet not hut her feelings by telling her that it's because she's still acting like she did in high school?
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:41 pm
That's a tough one and it's really sad that she is still behaving that way. In all honesty you should have a talk with her. she might hate you for bringing things up but she might get hit with reality once you explain things to her. she has to understand that she's not in highschool any more and that she has responsibilities. honestly i don't feel bad for her, i feel bad for her children. but yes you have to have a talk with her and if she decides not to act like a mature adult dump her and tell her that you have grown. no matter how you put this she's going to get hurt either way. but at least your her friend and she might think over stuff.
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:18 pm
Apple Blossom19 It all starts like this:
A few months ago an old friend shows up at my door. I hadn't seen them since sophomore year in high school 8 years ago. She left school pregnant by an older man just after her father's tragic death. We talked about what we had done since we last saw each other an apparently she had another kid and was living in Tahoe (I live in California about a day away from Tahoe).
We went out to a bar since now we are legal to drink, and she acted just like she did back in sophomore year. I later thought on the way back that I was lucky that she forgot her ID since she wanted to go out to a bar where she could get alcohol without one, get plowed and then drive back to a friends house. Apparently the older man who got her pregnant the first time still lived in the area and he came and offered to get her some drinks. At that point I had her take me back home saying a friend back home wanted to call me on the house phone and not my cell because it was low on battery (just a lie to get her to take me home).
I realized that she hadn't changed since HS, and I really didn't want to hang out with her anymore because of her telling me she wanted to drink and drive, and party. It also sounded like she didn't care about where her kids were either. She still had her harebrained ideas of getting money quick with doing this or that, and it just really turned me off.
Well today I get a message from her and she wanted to hang out this week. I told her the truth that I had summer school from 7am to 9pm, and that I was planning on hanging out with other friends this weekend. It was a good thing too because the friends she wanted to hang with were people I really don't like....
How do I break relations with her permanently, yet not hut her feelings by telling her that it's because she's still acting like she did in high school? If she is still acting that way, chances are she's not gonna change no matter what. Usually when a girl has a child, reality hits them and they do better. Unfortunately some do not change for the better. My thoughts on this one is to just have a talk with her and tell her that your life doesn't involve the things that she wants to do and that you two have grown in different ways throughout those 8 years. If she wants a more in-depth explanation, then tell her the truth about how you feel. She needs to be realize that those children should come first instead of the hanging out and partying all the time. What will happen to them if she is in an accident due to her drinking and driving? I know this isn't your problem but she does needs to realize that. Anyway good luck and I hope things work out. smile
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Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 11:54 pm
Are you sure she is that bad? mybe you should give it another go, and see her in more quite enviroment like movie, or coofee shop or mall.
If she is still that bad, try to tell her that you have changed and she didn't, the things you like back then you hate now.
Don't tell her you hate the way she lives now or something like that, cuz that can hurt her.
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 2:52 pm
Thanks ya all. I'll try it all ^_^
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 9:09 pm
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:10 pm
I kinda agree with them ... but since she is still acting like she did in HS no matter what you say she'll get upset
Maybe if you want to give her another try you can ask about doing something that involves her kids ... seeing how people act when they are around their kids is a good way of seeing what they have become since having them
*BTW* I'm a nanny so the kid thing really hits home for me
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Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 10:52 pm
Katt Smith I kinda agree with them ... but since she is still acting like she did in HS no matter what you say she'll get upset Maybe if you want to give her another try you can ask about doing something that involves her kids ... seeing how people act when they are around their kids is a good way of seeing what they have become since having them *BTW* I'm a nanny so the kid thing really hits home for me
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Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 4:36 am
Apple Blossom19 Katt Smith I kinda agree with them ... but since she is still acting like she did in HS no matter what you say she'll get upset Maybe if you want to give her another try you can ask about doing something that involves her kids ... seeing how people act when they are around their kids is a good way of seeing what they have become since having them *BTW* I'm a nanny so the kid thing really hits home for me Well from my expirence in the baby-sit area i can say: not all perents obey the perents rules, even when they know what they are... ( i see lots of kids with thier parents in the gardens). I think poeple who study about kids, and don't have such a strong emotion with the kids are much better in aducation, and borders, and most of them know when to hug and kiss without distroying the borders.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 1:24 pm
Yeah... You don't need friends like that.
Maybe you should tell her that although we were good friends back then you don't have anything in common anymore...
I really don't know.
Do you have kids? You could say you don't want her drunk around them?
Sorry, no help. sweatdrop
I would give her one more try, but in a friendly environment like with HER children at a park or a game?
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Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:31 pm
Just keep giving excuses for why you can't hang out with her, eventually she should give up... but then there are those overly persistent people, who you just have to tell the truth to. In the end, it also might be better to tell her the truth, even if you don't want to hurt her. Tell her firstly that you are glad you got to see her again, but you aren't into all the partying and drinking. It's not like that's mean or anything, just tell her the truth. You want to be responsible and not squander your life, I think that's pretty awesome.
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Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:28 pm
Apple Blossom19 Katt Smith I kinda agree with them ... but since she is still acting like she did in HS no matter what you say she'll get upset Maybe if you want to give her another try you can ask about doing something that involves her kids ... seeing how people act when they are around their kids is a good way of seeing what they have become since having them *BTW* I'm a nanny so the kid thing really hits home for me You're welcome
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Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:50 am
If you don't like her and don't want to talk to her.... DON'T. It's not that hard. Sometimes you just need to be blunt with people. Tell her she's an idiot for wanting to drink and drive... And tell her she's even dumber for going out with that old guy that knocked her up.
And then all you really have to say is, "Bye."
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