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 Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:34 am
See...I don't believe in unwanted children. I have never, ever met a human being who wasn't wanted by someone. My grandfather is 103, the head of a family who loves him very much. He was married to my grandmother for 77 years before she passed away a year and a half ago, and they loved eachother to the end. He has two daughters, two sons-in-law, five grandchildren, four grandchildren-in-law, and five great-grandchildren. All with the exception of the youngest great grandchild (since he's only 7 weeks old) love him very much, and he is very wanted, yet he grew up as an "unwanted" child. It's not like his is a unique story. Just because a pregnancy is planned does not mean the resulting child will be loved by the parents, and just because the parents don't necessary love their child doesn't mean that the child will be unloved forever. I don't know where this idea came from that if you're not loved by your parents then you're to be pitied.
"You're nothing without your parents," is just like "You're nothing without a man," and that seems to be the implication when people talk about "unwanted children" as if they're worth less or are bound to have crummy lives because one single person (possibly two people) dislikes them or doesn't want them, out of all the people they will come into contact with in their lives. I'm not trying to downplay the importance of parents. I'm very thankful that my parents did want me. I'm just saying that putting so much emphasis on how parents feel to the point where their offspring go down a peg and they become "Unwanted" doesn't seem right. Every child a wanted child...well why does that mean we need to kill off the ones who aren't? We wouldn't say "Every child a fed child" and then kill starving children. We as society can want children. We as people can love others, even others who aren't loved by key people in their life. We have the power to make sure that every child is a wanted child, and we have the power to do it non-violently. So that's why I don't agree with "Every Child a Wanted Child" to justify abortion, or even justify supporting abortion. There are other ways. They just take more work.
Maybe it's just the Catholic in me saying that everyone deserves to be loved, and everyone can be loved. Maybe I'm crazy and the only way to be a valid person is if your parents love you, and without that you can never, ever be happy. But I can honestly think of no other situation where when faced with a child who needs love, the solution is death because that child is given up as unloveable.
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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:37 pm
I agree that just because the birth parents may not always love or want their child, doesn't mean they nobody would love or want them.
There is plenty of people that would like to adopt if possible and i'm sure once they grow up, they'll find someone that would care for them.
I blieve that life is what you make, you can change your life for the better or for the worst. Sometimes people made situations worse then what it is or could be.
I know people that had a horrible family life but ended up just fine.
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 6:38 am
And being temporarily unwanted is, in my opinion, a lesser fate than being dead forever.
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:33 am
No one is saying: "let's kill anyone who is unwanted". Or at least, no one that I know is saying that.
That a given unborn human might be wanted by someone out there, or might be completely unwanted by all of humanity, doesn't effect my opinion on abortion. I feel that elective abortion needs to be legal because there is no other immediate option to remove a nonviable unborn human that doesn't result in its death.
I think that all children should be wanted and loved. If their biological parents don't want or love them, I think they should be adopted by people who will/do. Being born or adopted into a loving family is a blessing. But people aren't worthless if their parents don't love or want them.
It is sad to think that there are people who feel completely unloved or unwanted.
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Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:41 pm
Sure they are. When you use that phrase in the context of abortion, that is exactly what you are saying. Every child born should be a wanted child, and no child should be born unwanted by their parents. The end result is killing off the ones that aren't wanted, and I have seen plenty of people say they support abortion mostly or even solely because no child should be unwanted.
In any other context, maybe it wouldn't mean killing the unwanted. But when it comes as support for abortion? That is exactly what it means.
This wasn't directed at you by the way Waters, I know that's not the reason you're pro-choice, but it is the reason some people are and I've seen it recently.
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 5:14 am
lymelady Sure they are. When you use that phrase in the context of abortion, that is exactly what you are saying. Every child born should be a wanted child, and no child should be born unwanted by their parents. The end result is killing off the ones that aren't wanted, and I have seen plenty of people say they support abortion mostly or even solely because no child should be unwanted. In any other context, maybe it wouldn't mean killing the unwanted. But when it comes as support for abortion? That is exactly what it means. This wasn't directed at you by the way Waters, I know that's not the reason you're pro-choice, but it is the reason some people are and I've seen it recently. That is just odd to me. Like people who claim to be Pro-Choice, but then say its because they don't want rape victims to have to carry a pregnancy. I also think that "no child should be unwanted" or that no person at all should be or feel unwanted. I think that, even when their biological family makes a person feel unwanted, there should be other people in their community to love and welcome them. I think that people who don't have a support system, who don't have people who love and want them, get mental illnesses far more often, and recover far less. It is very important for everyone to feel loved, wanted, and useful. I wonder what such people (who feel that abortion should be legal only because no child should be unwanted) think a solution is to people who are already born and feel unwanted? Though, in all probability, they may not have thought out their argument that far, since I don't feel that their position on abortion is extremely well thought out to begin with... I guess I would need to find someone with that position (that abortion needs to be legal so that unwanted children won't be born) to talk to in order to actually have a hope of understanding it. As far as I can see, there either has to be some other arguments to back up their stance on abortion, or (as I suspect) they really haven't looked at their argument very carefully. People who don't think things through bother me...
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 4:34 am
divineseraph And being temporarily unwanted is, in my opinion, a lesser fate than being dead forever. Agreed. And furthermore: Through the miserable onslaughts of growing pains, during life crises, and periods of doubt and uncertainty, you will feel pretty alone on the journey call life. It isn't as though there's a working, constant formula for happiness. World events and other people are largely out of your control. Devastation and sadness can find you, regardless. I find that argument stemming from 'All children should be wanted' inadvertently argues that parents equate happiness. Far from the reality, sadly.
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Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:18 pm
sachiko_sohma I agree that just because the birth parents may not always love or want their child, doesn't mean they nobody would love or want them. This. Is why the wanted-child argument fails.
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Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 8:34 am
La Veuve Zin sachiko_sohma I agree that just because the birth parents may not always love or want their child, doesn't mean they nobody would love or want them. This. Is why the wanted-child argument fails. Not only that, but when the alternative is death, it's kind of... one sided. It's not quite the same as "Don't have kids if you can't take care of them" it's "Kill your kids if you can't take care of them", of course referring to feti as children with poetic license.
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