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xXEnglishMummieXx

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Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 6:35 am

Hi ......
I have a problem to air on behalf of a friend who wants to remain annon!
She's married to a man that everyone thinks is great and assumed they're both happy. The problem is that she's not!!! I think she said.... she's a warm hearted person that loves people whereas he's cold and military. He's not very loving and doesn't really enjoy talking though quite happy to be centre of attention within groups of friends. She told me that they've talked and he is happy but aware he probably isn't 'right' for her as they ARE different.
So currently wifey is happy to do her part in marriage but get's very little in return. But to his defence he has a full-time job, doesn't stray with other girls and happy to do his part in maintaining home and look after kids.
To add to the problem she thinks she's fallen for another man (a wonderful man I might add)..... he's divorced I think... currently living alone with visiting older children. He has nothing materially to offer, no home etc but she really isn't interested in that and wouldn't be a problem.
The man is a friend of Husband which just adds to the problem. She believes he (the man she secretly loves) feels the same or would like to but in no way would want to course problems. She totally understands this and feels the same.
She just wants him to know that she thinks he's amazing, hansome, sooo lovely .... ahem..... with no strings or demands as she loves him in an unselfish way.
But if she does tell then there's no going back.... she'll be possibly starting something she can't stop..... there could be heart ache ahead and he might reject her.
What does she do? There's lots of little problems amongst the overall thing of longing for a new man so it would be interesting to see who can rationalise things for her and help to see straight......

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 4:41 pm

xXEnglishMummieXx

Hi ......
I have a problem to air on behalf of a friend who wants to remain annon!
She's married to a man that everyone thinks is great and assumed they're both happy. The problem is that she's not!!! I think she said.... she's a warm hearted person that loves people whereas he's cold and military. He's not very loving and doesn't really enjoy talking though quite happy to be centre of attention within groups of friends. She told me that they've talked and he is happy but aware he probably isn't 'right' for her as they ARE different.
So currently wifey is happy to do her part in marriage but get's very little in return. But to his defence he has a full-time job, doesn't stray with other girls and happy to do his part in maintaining home and look after kids.
To add to the problem she thinks she's fallen for another man (a wonderful man I might add)..... he's divorced I think... currently living alone with visiting older children. He has nothing materially to offer, no home etc but she really isn't interested in that and wouldn't be a problem.
The man is a friend of Husband which just adds to the problem. She believes he (the man she secretly loves) feels the same or would like to but in no way would want to course problems. She totally understands this and feels the same.
She just wants him to know that she thinks he's amazing, hansome, sooo lovely .... ahem..... with no strings or demands as she loves him in an unselfish way.
But if she does tell then there's no going back.... she'll be possibly starting something she can't stop..... there could be heart ache ahead and he might reject her.
What does she do? There's lots of little problems amongst the overall thing of longing for a new man so it would be interesting to see who can rationalise things for her and help to see straight......

O_O whoa...big problems. (I'm not the best go-to Gaian, but...here goes...)

You say Wifey's Husband is aware that he isn't Mr. Right, right? Maybe he would understand if Wifey wants to probably...well, sorta part the marriage and go for Guy #2.
IF Guy #2 feels the same, they could try to discuss with Husband for an answer/solution/something...maybe...>_>
IF Guy #2 doesn't feel the same...um...still thinking that over.

Once again, I'm not the best person for advice, but I'm trying for now. Sorry if my advice doesn't help (which is likely).

CaramelStripes111

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xXEnglishMummieXx

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Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:53 am

It does actually smile thanks!

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:24 pm

First off, Holy s**t... this is seriously bad juju for you. Secondly, um... she made a commitment to her husband. I am sorry, that is completely wrong if she does nothing and expect the relationship to change. SHE has to sit down and talk about this, with a counselor, NOT YOU! You are not equipped to be stuck in the middle, unless you are married. I am sorry for that rude comment but that is what happened with my ex, now she ******** a 42 year old man because he got involved and now he cheated on her, she is coming to me for advice... bad situation, so I only speak from experience. I understand friendship and all, but unless you are married you really are not within life experience to handle these issues she has. But if she leaves this husband for another man she is no better than that guy getting involved with her in the first place. True love is accepting the flaws of your partner and allowing them to have them. On top of that, if she has not discussed this with him, God will punish her for not trying (sorry I am very religious) anyways... this is the exact reason why marriage is at a 65% divorce rate right now and second marriages are 85%. The grass is aways greener on the other side... until you get there. Trust me... rebounds ******** suck and are wrong on BOTH parts.

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deathsquirrel

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Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 3:21 pm

I'm wondering if he was ever loving, talkative, and all the other things she says he is not. There is a such thing as someone who is mediocre and doesnt want to keep a relationship alive. Her boredom with him can be leading her to wonder if there is anyone who seems like they might be interested because how long can someone last in a marriage where someone gets nothing. How would she know if the other guy feels the same way as she does?

xXEnglishMummieXx

Hi ......
I have a problem to air on behalf of a friend who wants to remain annon!
She's married to a man that everyone thinks is great and assumed they're both happy. The problem is that she's not!!! I think she said.... she's a warm hearted person that loves people whereas he's cold and military. He's not very loving and doesn't really enjoy talking though quite happy to be centre of attention within groups of friends. She told me that they've talked and he is happy but aware he probably isn't 'right' for her as they ARE different.
So currently wifey is happy to do her part in marriage but get's very little in return. But to his defence he has a full-time job, doesn't stray with other girls and happy to do his part in maintaining home and look after kids.
To add to the problem she thinks she's fallen for another man (a wonderful man I might add)..... he's divorced I think... currently living alone with visiting older children. He has nothing materially to offer, no home etc but she really isn't interested in that and wouldn't be a problem.
The man is a friend of Husband which just adds to the problem. She believes he (the man she secretly loves) feels the same or would like to but in no way would want to course problems. She totally understands this and feels the same.
She just wants him to know that she thinks he's amazing, hansome, sooo lovely .... ahem..... with no strings or demands as she loves him in an unselfish way.
But if she does tell then there's no going back.... she'll be possibly starting something she can't stop..... there could be heart ache ahead and he might reject her.
What does she do? There's lots of little problems amongst the overall thing of longing for a new man so it would be interesting to see who can rationalise things for her and help to see straight......

Posted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 7:49 am

Hey! Haven't posted on here for ages but we pleased to find some male opinions!

Its been a while and since then my friend DID leave him and is actually much happier now.

xXEnglishMummieXx

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