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 Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:15 pm
All of these are old. I havent written anything to beconsidered poetry in over a year x.x Just thoughts and musings really. But I look forward to your criticisms none the less. ^.^
Regret
Lonely night, early morn,
Sitting alone, at life I scorn.
I pick up the phone, with no one to call,
I’m always at home, no friends at all.
I wonder why my life is a waste,
Dreams of dreams for years I have chased.
I search and search, but its always the same.
For the life I’ve lead, only I’m to blame.
I can’t really say where I went wrong,
I pity myself sometimes, but not for too long.
Dwelling on the past will only bring tears,
But I can’t believe I’ve wasted these years.
If only I’d listened when they used to say,
"Become something now or you’ll regret it someday."
But the present’s now past and the futures ahead,
Dream while you can, soon your dreams will be dead
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Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:17 pm
Angel
I lie in bed awake at night,
Staring at shadows on the ceiling.
Without you here it just doesn’t seem right,
And I know you feel what I’m feeling.
The moon shining down through my window,
Laughing because I’m alone.
I’m lying here thinking of you, though,
I know you will soon be home.
I’m thinking of how I love you,
And if only you could just see,
All of the things I would do,
To bring you back home to me.
I would freeze time in its place.
The rest of the world I’d postpone.
To see your heavenly face,
Beautiful angel, come home.
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Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:20 pm
This poem doesn't rhyme, AND lacks meter. Some would wonder if it's even considered poetry. This doesn't deter me xD A matter of you and death
The dust from the torrent of wind stings my skin. Ashes fall all around us. The earth is dying, yet I still see your beauty. The only fire I recognize is the one in your eyes. In these last moments of death, your life is a lighthouse, and I know your light will bear my soul into eternity.
I try hard not to think. I want to just see you. I concentrate on your hair blowing in your face. I remember your beautiful smile. I reach for you. You smile that beautiful smile, yet my hand is unanswered. My heart screams. You turn your back and the sky falls. The searing heat evaporates my tears before they touch the earth. The lighthouse has led me astray and the betrayal in my heart is worse than this ending.
As my open eyes are filled with darkness, the last image to be burned into my minds eye is of your silhouette against the flames.
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 12:28 am
- Scazarith -
I love all three of your poems. "Angel" seemed to go back and forth every two stanza's, I thought, but it was written well enough to pull you along till the end and play with your heart strings. Well done. 3nodding
I would disagree w/ those whom think "A Matter of You and Death" is NOT a poem. Just because a poem lacks in rhyme and meter does not make it less of a poem than those that do. The majority of my work does not rhyme and when it does, it rarely makes sense or comes across the way I like. There are times you need to just let the poem speak in what ever way it can, rhyme or not.
- Mimi -
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Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 7:07 pm
I see what you're saying on "Angel". Its always had an odd beat like that x.x I don't know a lot about meter so if you have any suggestions or examples of meter i'd love to learn. ^.^ ty for your critisicm/support!
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