Welcome to Gaia! ::

I am currently in a relationship with a girl who lives an hour and a half away from me. It is a long trip for me to make but really I dont mind making it as long as I see her.

The point of this is to ask whether or not I am being like the knuckle dragging abusive boyfriend types.

My GF's mom hates me to death and doesnt want me in the house with my gf but I always used to sneak in. I knew the risks that wer involved and I didnt care as long as I got to see her. This went on for about a month. I would go and see her almost every other day. Her mom had no clue that me and her were dating and her mom thinks I am gay, which i am not. This is not really the problem.

Before her mom thought I was gay I had been going to see her for a few weeks. Then her mom got suspicious and asked whether or not me and her were going out. this was a reason why me and her seperated for about a week. Then my gf told her mom that I was gay. But she still hates me for reasons unknown. once again not the problem.

The main problem I am having is that as soon as this all happened the visits to her house suddenly stopped. I went almost three months without seeing her. This was also about the time when more and more of her friends started showing up at her house. most of them are boys. Now dont get me wrong I dont care that they are there because I trust her but i cant help having some kind of paranoia considering this is my first and hopefully only relationship.

The main thing is that as soon as these friends started showing up daily she has been putting me off because she wanted to go somewhere with her friends. I wouldnt mind if this was every once in a while but this has happened EVERY time I have tried to see her recently. I dont know what to do because every day this goes on I get a strange feeling that the relationship is slowly ending. I DONT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. I know i need to give her her space but i really want to see her every once in a while not every other month.

I need advice on what to do or what to say to her.

Seconded.

Also, you shouldn't be sneaking into her mom's house to see her. If it's that big a deal that you not be in her mom's house, then ask her to make up an excuse to leave the house so you can meet up outside.

And why did she tell her mom you were gay?

I agree with Lorien - you need to talk to her about it. Ask her why she's always busy when you want to come see her, and why she can't re-arrange her plans to see you. And ask her to be straightforward with you - if she doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore, then she needs to tell you, because it's not fair of her to lead you on and make you think she's still interested when in reality she might not be anymore. And if she refuses to change her behavior, then maybe the relationship isn't one worth being in anymore.

You should definitely confront her and ask her why she is putting you off. I think one of two things could be going on. One, she might be afraid of getting in trouble with her mother. If that's the case then you need to work something out with her where she won't be as worried about it. The other could be that she doesn't like you anymore and doesn't know how to break it off and is simply avoiding you. I have a friend who is doing that to her boyfriend, because she realized that there is nothing between them and isn't sure how to end it. I don't think it's a great way of ending a relationship but sometimes people just don't know how they should go about it so they put it off. If that's the case it's better to just ask her up front, she'd be more likely to admit it if that is what's going on.

Everything is fine between us.

I talked to her about it and she assured me that nothing is getting in the way of our relationship.

Thanks for all your help guys.

Resolved.