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 Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 6:50 pm
Gah! The past week, I've had VERY bad pains when I have bowl movements. It doesn't hurt when it's coming, only afterwards. To the point where I can not even walk for 10 minutes. My rectum would also throb with pain once in a while, and sometimes when I tried to sleep.
I went to see a doctor, and guess what? I have herpes. I don't know how this could have happened. I'm 16-going-onto-17 this August. I've only EVER slept with ONE guy, and he was a VIRGIN before we met. The doctor said it could have been from him giving me oral when he had a cold sore in his mouth.
Overall, the only people I told are my boyfriend (because he has a right to know) and my mom (because she's paying for the medication). My mom was easy going with it, she didn't freak. It shocked her, but she understands greatly. My boyfriend is also very supportive and I'm taking extra caution to prevent spreading this.
My question is.. how do I deal with this emotionally? Because being 16 and knowing the only partner I've ever been with has only ever been with me as well, I definitely was not expecting this. It's going to hit me hard, when I realize what I've done to my body. I know there's worse things, but this is also bad for me and is something I have to deal with for the rest of my life now.
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Posted: Fri May 30, 2008 9:00 am
Thanks for sharing that with us. That story is actually a great tool to help other people. There are many people out there who do not know that STDs can be spread in ways other than just intercourse. So a lot of people are out there assuming they are safe since they or their partner never had intercourse with anyone else. There are people that lie too though, so some people think their partner is a virgin when they're actually not. A lot of people also don't know what "safer oral sex" is. Flavored condoms can be used during oral sex (a condom can be cut down one side to create a sheet of latex to use for giving oral sex to women). Latex condoms and some medications can be used to decrease the chances of spreading the virus to others during intercourse as well. So as for dealing with this emotionally, here is what I would suggest: 1. Learn about it. Research herpes. Make sure your current partner and any future partners know about it too. 2. Help educate other people. A lot of people going through tough times find a lot of comfort in helping others. You can post your story around the internet, make a signature about safer oral sex here on Gaia, create an STD awareness background for your MySpace page, etc. 3. Talk to a therapist or support group. You can also check out sites like http://www.herpes.org/herpesinfo/psychology.shtml for a little advice or http://www.herpes.com/experiences.cgi to share your experiences and read about others.
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Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:26 pm
I have herpes Type I myself (coldsores), and I second the research and learning option. The more you know, the less there is to be worried or scared about. Find out how you can transmit the virus, even when you are not showing symptoms.
Always tell your partner. Be honest and open about it, and invite them to ask questions if they have any. If they don't want to be with you because you have herpes, it's their loss - not someone worth dating.
I believe there are medications like Valtrex you can take (with a prescription of course, so talk to your doctor first) to help supress the virus and reduce outbreaks. I don't know if there's an age requirement on them though.
Try to eat healthy and reduce stress. For example, I am prone to outbreaks with certain types of deep stress that get under my skin and nag at me.
Always use a condom! This includes oral sex and regular intercourse. Lorien gave some good ideas to try in her post. smile
If you're still having a hard time handling that you have herpes, I also definitely second the option of talking to a mental health professional about it. Or you can talk to a trusted adult, or a close friend.
While it may be hard to accept now, as you get older, you will learn to deal with it. It's not the death sentence it might appear to be, honest. Yes there's no cure, but there's methods available to help reduce outbreaks, and it's just a matter of being careful when you think you might be having an outbreak/when you're actually having an outbreak.
In a sense, I was fortunate that I got the virus as a preteen. I didn't know the details when I was younger, so it was like "Oh I have a coldsore, I have to be careful not to spread it by doing ___, ____, and ____." I just grew up with the knowledge of having coldsores, and didn't really learn the details until I got older and learned it for myself.
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Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 5:45 pm
thats a good story for people to hear cause some people thinks that there wont get any stds when really the chance are good for the =m to get it even with one partner.
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Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 8:28 pm
What does a cold sore look like?
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Posted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:29 pm
bustinrs2kickurs What does a cold sore look like? It's usually a fairly pronounced bump on/around my lip or mouth area. They're painful to touch or bite on, so usually you know you have one versus it being like a cankersore (which aren't coldsores I believe) or torn skin on your lip, etc. I'm not sure about color... Mine usually have like a yellowish-green center under the skin that I can see when looking closely at my lip. The one time I had a super huge breakout overnight due to some unexpected stress, I woke up the next worning with two huge "blisters" above my top lip. I popped them, and they took about 2 weeks to heal. That really sucked. sad I couldn't kiss my boyfriend and I was paranoid the whole time about passing the virus on to him or someone else accidently. From Google: - http://www.amoils.com/treatment/cold-sores/cold-sore-look-like.html [This link says coldsores are Type II, but I'm pretty sure that's genital herpes.] - http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Does-A-Cold-Sore-Look-Like?&id=1176810Also if you go to Google and search "coldsore" under Images, or "What does a coldsore look like?", you will get some image results that can show you examples of what they usually look like.
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Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 7:45 pm
Nikolita bustinrs2kickurs What does a cold sore look like? It's usually a fairly pronounced bump on/around my lip or mouth area. They're painful to touch or bite on, so usually you know you have one versus it being like a cankersore (which aren't coldsores I believe) or torn skin on your lip, etc. I'm not sure about color... Mine usually have like a yellowish-green center under the skin that I can see when looking closely at my lip. The one time I had a super huge breakout overnight due to some unexpected stress, I woke up the next worning with two huge "blisters" above my top lip. I popped them, and they took about 2 weeks to heal. That really sucked. sad I couldn't kiss my boyfriend and I was paranoid the whole time about passing the virus on to him or someone else accidently. From Google: - http://www.amoils.com/treatment/cold-sores/cold-sore-look-like.html [This link says coldsores are Type II, but I'm pretty sure that's genital herpes.] - http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Does-A-Cold-Sore-Look-Like?&id=1176810Also if you go to Google and search "coldsore" under Images, or "What does a coldsore look like?", you will get some image results that can show you examples of what they usually look like. Ok, thank you. I had a bump by my lip and I thought it was just a pimple, but then I came and read this so I was just curious. It went away the next day so I'm guessing just a pimple. As for cankersores I know what those are, I get them a lot when I get any kind of cut in my mouth, I will most likely get one. A cankersore is on the inside of the mouth, not on the outside. But, they do hurt to bite or touch as well. So, I know it wasn't that.
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Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 2:24 pm
I was told that getting Coldsores is a type of Herpes and from what I know, doesn't everyone get coldsores? I mean, I've had them before, but is like super rare for me, I only seem to get them easier by irritation in the mouth, by accidentally biting my inside my mouth multiple times in the same spot, hate that feeling. Perhaps it has something to do with my unusal powerful immune system, its rare for me to even get sick(my brother is the same way). I'm mean, our entire family got hit with the stomach flu twice and my brother and I were the only two that were immune to it.
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Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 3:31 pm
Valgex I was told that getting Coldsores is a type of Herpes and from what I know, doesn't everyone get coldsores? I mean, I've had them before, but is like super rare for me, I only seem to get them easier by irritation in the mouth, by accidentally biting my inside my mouth multiple times in the same spot, hate that feeling. Perhaps it has something to do with my unusal powerful immune system, its rare for me to even get sick(my brother is the same way). I'm mean, our entire family got hit with the stomach flu twice and my brother and I were the only two that were immune to it. I've never had a coldsore in my life. There's a difference between a coldsore and what you seem to think a coldsore is. Coldsores are just caused by a virus, I don't know if there's any way to avoid them or specific other factors that cause them. But you can't get them unless you've got the virus.
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Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 3:40 pm
Valgex I was told that getting Coldsores is a type of Herpes and from what I know, doesn't everyone get coldsores? I mean, I've had them before, but is like super rare for me, I only seem to get them easier by irritation in the mouth, by accidentally biting my inside my mouth multiple times in the same spot, hate that feeling. Perhaps it has something to do with my unusal powerful immune system, its rare for me to even get sick(my brother is the same way). I'm mean, our entire family got hit with the stomach flu twice and my brother and I were the only two that were immune to it. What you had sounds like a cankersore to me which is not a coldsore. A cankersore is inside the mouth while a coldsore is on the outside.
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Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 4:04 am
Valgex I was told that getting Coldsores is a type of Herpes and from what I know, doesn't everyone get coldsores? I mean, I've had them before, but is like super rare for me, I only seem to get them easier by irritation in the mouth, by accidentally biting my inside my mouth multiple times in the same spot, hate that feeling. Perhaps it has something to do with my unusal powerful immune system, its rare for me to even get sick(my brother is the same way). I'm mean, our entire family got hit with the stomach flu twice and my brother and I were the only two that were immune to it. That's a canker sore, which is different and usually have to do more with genetics. I myself am genetically prone to canker sores, as are a few other people in my family (especially my brother and my mom). It has to do with defects in the immune system I believe. Cold sores are caused by a virus.
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 9:06 am
AliceXIX Valgex I was told that getting Coldsores is a type of Herpes and from what I know, doesn't everyone get coldsores? I mean, I've had them before, but is like super rare for me, I only seem to get them easier by irritation in the mouth, by accidentally biting my inside my mouth multiple times in the same spot, hate that feeling. Perhaps it has something to do with my unusal powerful immune system, its rare for me to even get sick(my brother is the same way). I'm mean, our entire family got hit with the stomach flu twice and my brother and I were the only two that were immune to it. That's a canker sore, which is different and usually have to do more with genetics. I myself am genetically prone to canker sores, as are a few other people in my family (especially my brother and my mom). It has to do with defects in the immune system I believe. Cold sores are caused by a virus. Yep, that's right. 3nodding
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