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Angel of Forgotten Souls Vice Captain
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 Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 1:09 pm
The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition.
"Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win."
"Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased with conniving ways, and chuckled merrily.
When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?"
"Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar.
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Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 1:11 pm
Dad will never say
Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say
10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.
7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.
6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.
4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.
2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
1. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big deal.
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Angel of Forgotten Souls Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:44 pm
A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big 'everything under one roof' department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?'
The kid says, 'Yeah, I was a salesman back in Minnesota .'
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. 'You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did.'
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
After the store was locked up the boss came down.
'How many customers bought something from you today?
The kid says, 'One'.
The boss says, 'Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?'
The kid says, '$101,237.65'.
The boss says, '$101,237.65?' What the heck did you sell?'
The kid says, 'First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition.'
The boss said, 'A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?'
The kid said, 'No the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot--you should go fishing!
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