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Dang Phone
The phone is mocking me.
I wish to call my forbidden crush
And hear his words on me in a rush.
But I can't,
and so I sit here like a plant.
The number pad taunts me
"C'mon! It's just a call!"
It will show how I need him, that's all!
I will last a while
On this cursed mile
I will not contact him
I don't really need him!
I only want what I can't have-y,
So I'll prove I don't need him, be savvy.
"And what does this prove?"
says the answering machine, so removed.
I don't dignify it with an anther
But my hand creeps forward like a panther.
I pick up the receiver, which sheers me on,
And dial his number, fingers fluttering like swans.
My care for him surges up
(I just hope he won't pick up.)

The beginning seemed edgy, uneven, and almost forced; but the rhythm of the poem soon picked up. Try not to force your work, let it come naturally then re-write it as you see fits. The end of the poem was very strong, your rhyme scheme was every where but it made perfect sense and helped the strength of your poem.

- Mimi -

Ppl commented! Hooray! biggrin Thanks 4 pointing out the spelling errors. This poem was a little hard to write because I was feeling nervous. (didn't want to have these emotions out on paper) Yeah. Thanks again!