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 Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 10:33 am
here is a poem i wrote, please tell me if you really like it or not, i will not be swayed by the truth. its about me and my bf, how we will have to wait a few years to be able to meet....erg....online dating.....so long to wait....lol
True Love Waits....
Though many miles apart are we,
Our hearts form one, together be.
Many heads turn as i walk down the street.
But my soul belongs to you, my help meet.
You have rescued me from depths dark,
This is a happy journey that we embark
I patiently wait, guarding thoughts and words,
as I long for my Prince to come, I watch the sky of birds.
Dreaming of when we shall sit together.
He shall know my world, and it shall be better.
Just him, me, and this sky.
Smiling to each other, and I give a happy sigh.
True love waits for all eternity if need be.
Please continue to wait for me.
Until the sun falls from the sky,
I shall remain yours and for you until I die.
I give you my heart, soul, mind, strength.
I give you all my body, you are of all I think.
I am yours, I love you, my dear.
Forever I will be here.
Because true love waits.....
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Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 7:21 am
Honestly, its very childish in its use of rhyme, some of which are very forced. Try using an extended metaphor throughout the poem, find something to compare your anguish to. Or try a sonnet, which works well for love.
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