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 Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:07 pm
How do you make love to the person you are with? I feel I'm running out of ideas I've done roleplay, played dress up, lit candles to set the mood and slow music, massaged him fully, I've taken my time with his body but however when I let him take control his movements are like just having sex as if he doesnt know how to make love. I havent told him yet that or ask him if he even knows how to make love. for every relationship he claims to have been in he refers to sex as ******** or ******** not once have i heard him say oh we made love.
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 9:33 am
I don't use the phrase "make love" for my case because I just don't feel it applies. I don't use "the f word" either though because that just seems dirty and disrespectful to me. So I prefer "sex." Whether it's my committed partner or a one night stand, it is "sex" for me.
For me, sex is just sex. There is no emotional tie to it whatsoever. I don't do it out of love or to be closer to anyone; I just do it for the physical feeling.
So when I have sex, that's all it is. I don't do candles and dressing up. So maybe your partner is like me in that aspect. xp
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 1:01 pm
Boys have such a different view of sexuality than girls, so yes, some times that may cause some conflicts or create a distance in the couple. Boys tend to be a tad more genital and physical, especially in their youth. But it doesn't mean they are incapable of loving.
If the way you see sexuality is more romantic than his, let him know. Maybe you never gave him any sign that his little routine bothers you, so he fully assumes you like it that way.
One thing every female should remember is that boys don't read in betwen the lines. They just suck at it! If you say things ambiguously and hopes he guesses, then you're not helping the situation, even if you want to. X3
Just tell him: "You know darling I'd like it if now and then you would [insert your desires there]. It would feel so great." Direct phrasing. Boys prefer that generally.
Most guys will do what they are asked with the best intentions, they don't have many taboos. Maybe it's not their favourite thing but boys love to know they please the girl they love right.
As far as vocabulary goes, maybe he dislikes the expression "to make love". I'm female and I never use it really. I prefer the rougher expressions, both in my native language and in English. I'm not a very sentimental flowery lover though. So to each their preferences.
Communicate how you feel to him and I'm sure he'll listen. Maybe he just never guessed you'd prefer it softer and more sentimental.
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 2:48 pm
i dont think the is a certain way to make love it is just sex with a person you really care about isn't ??
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 3:04 pm
Ok, think from a guys world for a second. If he were to tell his guy friends, "Oh, we made love last night." He would get beaten up for sure. He would say something more like, "Ya, I ******** her last night." So, he is just being a guy. Don't take it so hard for his words. wink But he can definatley not be as aggressive, and let him know that.
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 3:15 pm
Aelfiede As far as vocabulary goes, maybe he dislikes the expression "to make love". I'm female and I never use it really. I prefer the rougher expressions, both in my native language and in English. I'm not a very sentimental flowery lover though. So to each their preferences. Communicate how you feel to him and I'm sure he'll listen. Maybe he just never guessed you'd prefer it softer and more sentimental. I don't use it much either. I'll say "sex" or use the f-word if I want to be a little rough but in a joking way, but my boyfriend almost always says "make love". Nothing wroing with it, just not what I'm used to. But I'll say "make love" once in awhile if I'm feeling romantic or if I want to show that a certain time was extra special or what not. And yes, talk to him. Tell him how you feel and ask him if "making love" is a state of mind for him, or just a phrase he doesn't use. We can't read his mind for you. darkecrow i dont think the is a certain way to make love it is just sex with a person you really care about isn't ?? That had always been my understanding. "Making love" = sex. But everyone is different. smile
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Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 3:15 pm
Don't get fooled into thinking this is a guy/girl issue. It's a personal issue that depends on preferences, not on genitalia. Some males are very emotional about sex, others are not. The same is true for females. I am a female who does not "make love" or feel any emotion during sexual activity. So Miko's partner might not be emotional about sex, but we have to be careful to not fall into stereotyping and saying things like, "That's just the way guys are."
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Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 10:10 am
eh hm I don't mean for him to say that in front of his guy friends but with me alone to just tell me that he wants to make love would make me feel special to call it roughly ******** it kinda makes me not want to do it. I have talked to him about it, sometimes when we are just having sex I have to constantly tell him to relax cause then it makes me tense up and then we can't do a**l sex. Its like if he can't relax how can I relax.
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Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 3:32 pm
I understand "making love". I wish to make love the first time I do it. Really I believe the difference is what is going on in your head while its happening...
I use different words on what I'm talking about:
Hot and kinky = "f"ing
Wanting to pleasure yourself or your partner = sex
Having strong feelings of love and wanting to express them = making love
I've talking to my boyfriend about making love. He says he understands (because he's wonderful like that heart ). I also understand how he would like it done when we do do it. We like to make each other happy.
So yes. Be VERY open with your partner.
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Posted: Wed Jul 23, 2008 9:18 pm
I agree completely with the expression "making love." Then again thas another person's opinion. To me, sex is something tha needs to be between 2 people who are completely in love. to me it just feels like it has more meaning. And as humans we make our sole purpose to find meaning in everything. It just feels right to me.
You should make sure your partner or the one you love feels the same about sex before diving into it too deeply.
My suggestion would be to do things tha are really romantic more often, have fun, see wha you both enjoy and then ease into sex or "making love."
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Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:01 pm
Well... My fiance and I have a mutual understanding in the whole "term" department.
To us...
"F***ing" is usually when we get rough and fast, or we are too horny to hold our pants on... (sorry if TMI, but usually, pulls out and I get c** on me...)
"Sex" is the middle grounds. (usually dont use this one, lol)
"Making love" is slower and its emotional connections between us. Plus, no pullin out.
The terminology is different for everyone. LOL
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Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:37 am
AshyKitty Well... My fiance and I have a mutual understanding in the whole "term" department. To us... "F***ing" is usually when we get rough and fast, or we are too horny to hold our pants on... (sorry if TMI, but usually, pulls out and I get c** on me...) "Sex" is the middle grounds. (usually dont use this one, lol) "Making love" is slower and its emotional connections between us. Plus, no pullin out. The terminology is different for everyone. LOL yeah i agree with this, my girlfriend usually always says ******** no matter what the situation is. when we get a lil rough i consider it ********, and when we are just under a blanket doing it slowly, lookin into each others eyes i say that we made love. everyone is gonna have different views just as everybody else has said, but just as Lorien said, it doesnt matter whether ur a guy or girl, people wont always see eye to eye when it comes to certain things, it all depends on your sexual past i guess, the kind of things you have done, that make you look at sex the way you do.
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Posted: Mon Oct 13, 2008 9:06 am
Ah, too true, what she said.
Altho, (LOL, cant believe Ima bout to say this!) youCOULD go to urbandictionary (hasnt tried wikipedia yet) and look it up. Here's the first definition they got on it.
"Not like casual sex, its what 2 people do that really love eachother, not just another ********.... eek Yah sweatdrop
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