II: Tora
Noble born, tall, handsome, eloquent, aristocratic, he was everything that a woman could ever want, he had it all, money, looks, whatever a girl wanted, he probably could have provided it. There wasn't a girl that wouldn't swoon after him, his parents loved him so dearly, even after his exploits with the girls in the red light district. There was nothing that he couldn't do, nothing that he didn't want. There was nothing in the world that he couldn't get, nothing except for happiness.
His parents had given him everything he had ever wanted, a good life, good clothes, a strong name, Tora, and everything he could ask for. He had love from his parents whenever he asked for it, he was never neglected, but yet, he couldn't help but feel as though there was something missing in the deserted halls of the manor. His father, found it frivolous to have servants or children around to attend to and to play with his son. He had indeed grown up loved, but without the company of children his age. He had been raised with the unconditional love from his parents and no one else, Tora was lonely, and thus from that loneliness he sought company that was beyond what his parents had provided for him, he sought after the companionship that had been denied by his parents the moment that he could leave the manor on his own.
He sought solace in the company of women at a young age. There was nothing to do for him, nothing but to live life as a beautiful man. That fact scared him, he didn't want to sit listlessly and aimlessly just wandering around all the deserted halls and being beautiful without any sort of reward in the end. However, try as he might, he couldn't find anything that his parents provided would keep his interest for a long enough time. Nothing that was given to him was ever good enough, nothing, no books, no hunting equipment, no finery; nothing could entertain him for a long enough time. He found nothing but boredom within the confines of the manor, there wasn't anything that could slake his thirst for something to do. He found hunting to be a bore, all it was was chasing after animals that could be caught by the hunters his father had hired. He found that books were even worse, just a bunch of printed words that made no sense to him no matter how much he wanted to learn. He found that pretty much everything else he was almost immediately bored with. Nothing seemed to be able to keep his interest at all. Nothing except for the company of women.
How he adored the opposite gender, how he delighted in the way that they could ceaselessly entertain him. They were beyond any of the inanimate, lifeless things that his parents had ever given him. They were something else entirely. He was rich, and could afford to keep them for a long time, and for once, he had something that he was in love with. Sex. He could remember, clearly, even when in the accursed garden in the moonlight, he could remember his first time with a woman. He could remember the feel of her skin against his own, her hot breath against his face, neck, and his whole body. How he relished the memory like the rarest treasure on the earth, he remembered it all, the pleasure of his whole body feeling as if it were on being lit by some sort of internal fire; the guttural cries of pleasure that he , the climax and the afterglow, everything, all as if it had just happened. He was seventeen when that happened.
It wasn't too soon after that he became some what of a sex fiend. He couldn't stop wanting that same sort pleasure that he had received, he couldn't stop breaking so many women's hearts, he just kept on screwing himself over with the brothels that he and his close friends would go to every other night.
Of course, Tora knew what he was doing was wrong, deep down inside he was screaming for someone who would come out and reach to heal him, to do something about his obsession. He knew it the first time he lost himself in a fit of passion. He only knew of passion though, it was the only thing that he could act on properly, the heat of the moment and nothing else. All he could think about was his pleasure, he couldn't concentrate on anything else other than the feeling of being in euphoria. Tora couldn't think straight anymore, everything that he wanted to do, every action that he did, he somehow linked it back to sex. The obsession with pleasure became so bad that he started to neglect everything that he knew. He began to shun all those that kept him close to their hearts.
He was beginning to have serious problems with himself, both physically and mentally.
He could feel it happening to him, the draining of his energy, the lethargy and the lack of interest in everything else in his life. It was during this time when he couldn't do anything, think of anything other than to be with a woman. What had once been a hobby of his had somehow turned into an obsession, one that he couldn't break the habit of. It was no longer pleasurable, it was a chore, something that he had to do to keep living now, it was no longer fun for him to be in bed anymore, it was simply a habit, a thing that he had to do in order to feel alive again.
He knew he had sinned. He knew it and it no longer became pleasurable for him for him to sleep with them, but the obsession, the addiction, the whole drive to be one with a woman drove him to sin against it even more. He felt nothing anymore and he wanted escape from the whole world of misery that he had put himself into. He wanted to find someone who would fill him and tell him that it was alright. He wanted something to help him.
And as usual, he got what he wanted.
The perfect woman, the one that satisfied all his needs, everything he could ever want was from her, he couldn't have asked for a more perfect being than her. When he was around her, he could do nothing, the two of them didn't need sex to get them through the night, rather, he was recklessly in love with her in a single night, talking nonsensical things and talking with her deep into the night. The woman was the most amazing person that Tora had ever met. Ironically, he had found her at one of the balls that his parents would throw every now and then to try and get him to commit to one woman.
He had gotten bored within the first hour of the party, his urge to be in bed with someone was already starting and his control was slipping quite quickly. That was the moment when she appeared in his life. She was somehow, miraculously, like a saint, take away all his urges to be with anyone but her. She was the one that he had been looking for ever since his problems started to develop. She was the one who was able to save him from the hole that he had dug for himself.
Kila.
Even now, the name rolled off his tongue sweetly, made him think of happier days before his capture. Even at a time like this, when he saw nothing but the ethereal fog that surrounded the castle, he found it wonderful that he could continue to think of her, how sweetly he was reminded of her simplistic purity and innocence, the one that he couldn't take away no matter how much he planned. The one that he wanted to steal away from her betrothed.
Tora would do anything in his power to steal away the man who took her heart first. He was willing to sacrifice his reputation, willing to do anything to have her. He was willing to kill, steal, destroy, commit any sin within his humanly power to get her, sell his soul to the evils of the world, and gouge out his eyes for her sake. She was everything, his sunshine, his air, his world, he would do the impossible for her.
Even kill him.
Dajath.
Tora despised that name, hated it with a passion and a fervor that could border obsession. He could never understand how such a simple man as he could ever have her attention. It never occurred to Tora that Dajath had something that he didn't. He never paused to think of the qualities that that man had that he himself didn't. All he knew was that the woman in his life, the only woman that he knew would love him deeply was betrothed to that man.
How detested Dajath was in his life, a hindrance that he couldn't get rid of. Tora was willing to go through all the levels of Hell for her, all of them, what did this other man over him? What did Dajath have that Tora couldn't provide? The questions kept on plaguing his mind until it came to the final decision.
Dajath could not live.
Tora had to kill him, destroy the life that hindered his happiness with Kila. He had to get rid of that soul that threatened to remove any sort of relief he had in his life from the vicious cycle of needing so much sex. Kila was the first person in his life that was willing to accept him, was the first woman that he found himself comfortable enough to have a normal conversation with and talk about anything to. She was the first person in his life that didn't treat him as if he was another human with a problem. She was the first person that he didn't mind not making out with, just simply being normal for once. It was a feeling that he wanted so badly, one that he could not live without. It was a feeling that he was willing to murder in cold blood for.
Tora could remember the triumphant feeling that coursed through his blood that night. Poor Dajath, drugged and sleeping, his dearest Kila, wife to be, was safely stowed away in the confines of his castle, not knowing anything about his plans for the night. It was all mapped out. She would worry about her husband finding out, he would reassure her that the two of them were safe and the drugs would leave poor Dajath into a slumber that he would never wake from.
That was the plan, it was so perfect, it was so meticulously planned out and nothing would ever go wrong. That was until the stroke of midnight that night.
He was sitting there, sweetly speaking to Kila, gently caressing her hair, softly whispering meaningless phrases of nothing into her ear. The candles were lit around them, a golden halo of protection that the two of them had.
And then the knock upon the door.
The sound that he forbade for the rest of the night. Tora couldn't understand why his servants would do such a thing as disobey his orders.
Until he saw who it was at the door.
The man he detested, fury in his eyes, a bloodied butcher's knife in his hand. Sweet human life dripped in red rivers down the blade of the knife. For the first time in his life, he was truly afraid. For the first time in his life, his plan did not go as he wanted it to. For once in his life, he didn't know who to call on or what to do.
It was during this fear that he saw that witch. The one that continues to watch over him now. Her pale complexion stood out starkly against the barely moon lit sky. The waxing crescent of the lunar disk he was so familiar with hung over her head of raven dark hair like a halo upon some sort of twisted and demonic angel. She stood there, watching him, her gray eyes never leaving him.
And he could feel the fear seep into his veins and through to his bones where it settled, paralyzing him and leaving him immovable while Dajath simply brushed past the lord in order to retrieve his wife-to-be.
It was then when he saw a flurry of movement, and then all was black.
Tora awoke in the same sort of condition that Shou had arrived earlier that day. And the arrival of the prince only brought back all the memories of his life free from the ethereally shrouded castle with the damned witch watching them all the time. The arrival of the prince also brought back the memories of the loneliness of being the only captive in the castle.
“Why am I here?”
“Why is it that you think you are here?”
“What do you want? Is it money? I can give that to you! Servants? Tutors? Hawks? Books? I have it all! Just tell me what your price is.”
“Your heart.”
“My heart?”
“Your clean, pure, uncorrupted heart as it was before you started to sleep around. Only when you have atoned for your crime of love may you leave this place.”
“How... how can I do that?”
“.... The punishment is not up to me. It is up to my father.”
He recalled another fleeting moment of fear within him. The feeling of dread that came with the knowing that this punishment was something that he would no doubt hate.
At the coming of dawn, Tora, the once proud young lord of Tsubasa manor was reduced to nothing but a bundle of feathers.
And so began the cycle.
