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 Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 10:58 am
It's a little long, hold tight:
Okay, so I'm not exactly the nicest person in the world. One of my friends on Gaia was drunk...and we didn't exactly get off on the right foot when we first met on Gaia. I felt like he hated me, so I just kinda avoided talking to him. But I was about to leave (I should have D'x), when he came into the thread completely smashed out of his mind.
I, being one of the flirts that takes advantage of guys in their drunken states, started talking to him. And we both know each other by face too...so he was all "Ci, you're so beautiful. I've told you that before." And I was all..."Umm, you're drunk >x<'' But thanks?"
So the night progressed into early morning...he ended up exiting gaia, adding me on msn and doing stupid things. Like he was on webcam and he'd rave and stuff. x'D It was hilarious. He was probably one of the more entertaining drunks.
And I'll admit. I tend to flirt naturally around guys I'm friendly with. But it's supposed to be friendly. And then I jokingly/truthfully said "I take advantage of guys like you. ;3"
And he kept saying I was so beautiful. And then he called me. >x>''' I was cool with that. I figured maybe I could make sure he was okay. And we were all whispering 'cause my roomies were sleeping. Then I said it was time to go to sleep and he agreed and we hung up.
The next day I go on msn to check how he's doing and he's all happy and says "I'm sober and you're still beautiful."
So...I was kinda uncomfortable, but I ended up flirting anyway. Now don't get me wrong, just because I flirt doesn't mean I'm interested. And he's a VERY good looking guy. But I don't do distance. Never.
And s**t happened and now he's convinced he's in love with me and is planning a trip up to Canada this summer. He doesn't live more than 10 hours away...
He said, at one point, "I want you to live with me"...and that's when I kinda realized he was so serious about this. When I didn't respond he said "I was joking", but I'm so sure he wasn't.
He's one of those guys that'll give up his entire life down there for me. I don't want him to do that. I don't know how to say no. I'm afraid to. Not for me, though. He's delicate, I know it. And as much as I'd love for him to be here and us to try something out, I know it'll never work. You know how you just know these things?
I admit he'd be a nice summer fling, but nothing more than that. I've only just begun to wrap my head around what I've done. >x<'''
I just needed to get that out...I'm such a horrible person. I mean, I guess I kinda feel good 'cause I think he'd do a lot for me, but...ugh.
I hate Gaia. D<
I asked him if he was sure we'd work in the future...and he was so confident when he said yes.
"You're so confident."
"Why shouldn't I be?"
"We don't know each other to the extent we need to know we could work out."
And then he starts telling me more about him. xD And I'm all..."F%$*^CKKK!!!"
I'm done my story. Help? Advice? Jeez. Just someone read it. >x>
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 11:37 am
i reaaaddd it ^^
i'm in your situation, though next level
i met a guy on gaia about 3 years ago and we got uber close...
now we're together and he's coming over in ...24 days :3 He's in TX and i'm in Scotland
i think you need to explain...seriously to him, how you feel...
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 12:46 pm
I read it, too. It wasn't that long. ^^ I think there's nothing you can do except explain to him that you were simply flirting, and that you had no intentions of ever taking your friendship to the relationship level. It's better to tell him now before he gets too caught up in everything, you know? Cut it off at the beginning, sort of thing. When you do tell him, make sure you really underline it. Don't give him any hope of a 'someday' sort of thing.
And also, you might want to cut down on your flirting in the future. Just a thought...
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 12:56 pm
yeh, when your flirting gets to this stage you need to thinka bout what happens if the receiving end gets the wrong idea...like...what happened
lol...it can be fun to you, but to them it could be the answer to their prayers
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:15 pm
It usually never gets this bad (minus my stalker incident). I think it's just cause I had a bad week and I figured "hey, I deserve this." And I def. thought he knew me better than that. But apparently not.
One thing confuses me a lot, though. He doesn't trust anyone anymore. Ever since something happened between him and his ex-best friend and well...why should he trust me?
Normally, I wouldn't mind a guy like him interested in me, but he's too desperate for someone to save him, it seems. And that's why it's even harder for me to turn him away. I don't want him to never trust anyone ever again. Period. Maybe I should tell him to advance slowly and I'll think about it.
I feel like I should help him. I can't just ignore it, can I? >___<''' I was trying to get rid of him nicely...but in a way where he'd realize it'd never work (that clearly didn't work). We started talking about us...what we like, who we are irl. He doesn't have friends or make friends...he has some problems he's not telling me about and it feels weird--like he wants to forget that place and start over.
I'm so frustrated. But I know I need to stop it before it gets too far.
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 3:19 pm
It's possible he might have thought you were a good person to "start over" with, that is to say, someone where he could begin trusting. But if this boy is that broken up in life, he probably shouldn't be having a girlfriend right now anyway. It wouldn't be a good thing if he became too dependent in a relationship. Friends, and the kind of support they can offer, are probably the best thing for him right now. And as fragile as he might seem to you, he might be stronger than he seems. So I would be a little less concerned with hurting him, and worry more about encouraging him. You know? Explain to him that you want JUST friendship and nothing more.
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:42 pm
i think you should tell him asap that you were just flirting with him, before things get out of control. but definitely try to be as nice as possible about it.
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 4:50 pm
[.Ciara.Chi.]
One thing confuses me a lot, though. He doesn't trust anyone anymore. Ever since something happened between him and his ex-best friend and well...why should he trust me?
My ex-bestfriend.. Well, betrayed me.. Used me.. Etc. Bad stuff
So after that, I couldn't trust anyone.
I got into a long distance relationship and trusted this guy almost imediately.
For me, I know he will be true, always. (We live a town apart now 4laugh )
For him, maybe he is wishing? Or blinded by love, or what he thinks is love.
Now I will destroy him.
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