Welcome to Gaia! ::

You suck at handling stress? I kind of realized that about myself today. It was a horrible day, and I came home in an equally rotten mood. Permit a few seconds of your time to have a rant and you'll understand why. Or ignore me. I have to say something. I'm gonna explode.

Start with this morning. I don't have to get up until 8am, as my first class is not until 9:30am. At 7:15am this morning, I woke up to cat A standing on her heels slapping the door because she wanted out [believe, it's a hell of a lot less cute than it sounds]. I got up, let her out, went back to bed. At 7:45am, I woke up to cat B howling at the door to get out. I got up, let him out. So my last hour of sleep was basically shot, so I was tired all day.

I had a french midterm today, so I skipped my morning classes to study. I devoted three and a half solid hours to studying. At 1:30pm, I went in to write the stupid midterm - only to realize that the midterm was out of twenty points and comprised of maybe twenty-five questions that covered about half of what I studied. Nothing like realizing you've just wasted your time to make you happy.

Before the exam, my teacher walks in, looks at me, and goes, "You're ____, right?" She takes me out into the hall and proceeds to almost five me a heart attack by telling me I'm missing a ton of stuff, and that I didn't write a test, and that she's "not sure I can make it up, so let's talk after the midterm." Boy, was that fun to sit through! I was done pretty early, and then had the pleasure of waiting twenty minutes for everyone else to be done so we could 'talk'. Now, I will admit, I have been skipping quite a few classes this year. I've been having trouble getting motivated, and I had just decided that I was going to super apply myself after March Break. She mentioned the time I missed and I sort of brushed it off.

So after the midterm, I go up to talk to her. She gives me a redaction [essay type thing] back and tells me I did it on the wrong story. I'm super embarrassed at this point - like, OMG WTF I did that?! She tells me to re-do the redaction and bring it to her on March 10th at 12:30pm, when she wants to have a 'talk'. After the class, I do a little research and realize that what I actually did was hand in the wrong thing. I handed in a set of video questions as the redaction by accident [technically, not ALL my fault - in the e-mail the prof sent giving out those video questions, she mentioned the redaction, and I think I mistranslated]. I also made sure there had only been one test we wrote, because I DID go to the re-write and I DID do it. I KNOW I DID.

I e-mail her explaining this, and she tells me to just do the redaction again and that she'll look for my test, and that if I did it, I don't have to re-do it. But she still wants me to come talk to her on March 10th to "help" me.

So I was already moderately unimpressed by this point. But then I had to go to work. First I got driven there by my sister [not the person I like seeing when I'm in a bad mood, as there's usually a 99% chance she'll make it worse]. I go in work and I actually manage to be polite and sociable and perky, despite about a hundred announcement in two hours that we're getting 15 - 25cms of snow AGAIN tomorrow.

But then when I got off at 6pm, my father wasn't there to pick me up. I called my mother at 6:10pm to see where he was. Turns out he left work and went home, totally forgetting about me. I've been working there the same shift for about a month and a half, and I HATE being forgotten about. Honestly, after I got off the phone with my mom, I sat down and started crying. Then my dad picked me up and he was trying to be all mock cheerful, like he couldn't imagine why I'd be angry.

By this point I was in 'don't make me speak or I'll scream at you' mode, the one where I say as little as possible to avoid pissing people off. I also forgot to mention that I haven't eaten all day and it's 7:14pm. *covers eyes* It's just been one of those days.

Let me tell you what I tell everyone who is having a bad day...listen to death metal, it helps. ^_^ Hehe, they never take my advice, but it gives them a smile, especially coming from the shy girl who's always cheery and likes pink (to a certain extent).

I'm absolutely horrid at dealing with stress. I take too many things way to personally, so small things will usually build up throughout the day, and sometimes I break down and cry, but I can usually contain it until home.

This one girl who used to be my friend has 'anxiety attacks' all the time, and you know what, you just don't know when she's faking it or not. I mean, basically there've been times when she'll have an essay that she forgot about, and throw up at the stress of forgetting it. I mean, I'm not saying that that's faking it, but its a little too often...then freak out at everyone. That's the reason I don't consider her a friend anymore...she tried to take everything on me, and tell me everything I do wrong in life and how she's always right and doing so much better than me even when I actually give a damn and do my bloody homework! >.<; Sorry, I'm still frustrated with it all...she's probably the reason for 95% of my bad days this year. I could rant on forever about it. I don't talk to her anymore...October I stopped looking her in the eye. Its just, she'll be so 'nice' and then all of a sudden unleash it all on me, and I had it...and now she's acting all nice around me until we're in band and I'm playing the band music better than anyone else because I freaking practice it! (I'm obviously am showing off...to make everyone else look bad, really >.< wink

Sorry, I started ranting a little more than I should. Gah! Just probably been going on for a year now, and I'm tired. My self esteem has gotten so bad over it...I mean I really opened up at the end of last year around certain people and this year I've gone back to my shell...and I started caring more than ever how my appearance is. It's horrid! She always claims I'm a bad friend so I just fixed the problem and next time she says that I'll tell her clearly I don't consider her a friend. Simple as that.

I hope you cheer up! I hate bad days, and I probably make more bad days than I need to (by letting that girl bother me). When I'm overly stressed I usually:

heart Listen to angry music and sing a long to vent...
heart Vent to someone and rant...
heart Play my flute...
heart When I'm finally calmed down to a certain point, I either watch funny movies (Robin Hood: Men in Tights, The Producers, Young Frankenstein, Monty Python and the Holy Grail...) or sometimes a movie that'll make me cry in some way, depending on what I feel like...
heart Go running or take out the Tae Bo tapes (Billy Blanks rocks my socks! I usually envision someone I'm angry at with Tae Bo and imagine I'm punching them, it helps)...
heart Sit in a room by myself and read...
heart Hug my dog...
heart Write a poem...
heart Eat HUGE EXTREMELY MASSIVE amounts of chocolate...

Yeah, I'm random. It all depends on what I'm feeling like doing at the moment.

I'm sorry, Chibi. I hate hate hate having those kind of days.
I hope things get better for you!
<3

@Sagey
Maybe she keeps telling people you're pregnant because she wants grandkids? ;D

My teacher did find the test, but apparently I did really crap on it [four out of twenty, heh.] so she still wants to talk to me. I thought about it for a long time and realized that, realistically, the worst she can do is flunk me. And yes, that would suck and yes it would be a huge pain because it means I'd have to take the course again next year, but really, it would not be the end of the world. The 'talk' isn't until March 10th, so I'm just trying to relax and not think about it for the duration of my spring break. I'm doing my best to take a 'what comes will come and I'll accept it with a peaceful heart' stance.

Thanks for your support, girls. It was great to rant and know people are actually listening instead of just nodding vacantly, as I get the feeling some of my other friends do on occasion.

@Ciara - don't you just HATE IT when people do things like that? In grade nine I had a teacher accuse me of plagarizing this project I did because it was "too good". I can't even remember feeling as embarrassed/angry at a teacher [until now lol] as I did that day!