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I've been in love a couple times and I've been in the position your bf has been as well. I dated a great girl who happened to be very Catholic. I'd say keep doing what you're dong, that's perfectly fine. As for feeling turned on or aroused by something, you should never have to apologize for something natural like that.

Whether you love him or not, you guys need to communicate. You'll have to learn to talk about your boundaries with each-other and if he's still too sensitive about the topic to get over it and show you some respect, then you may need to think about that. They key to enjoying what you're doing without guilt towards your bf or your beliefs is to verbally tell him what your limits are and have him talk to you about how he feels about them. Be prepared to tell him if there are things you just won't compromise on.

That's a nice quote emu, but it's not helpful in this situation. If we're going to use your rooster as an example then we'll have to say he's standing on top of a flag pole because there are more than just two directions he can fall off. By saying that either A) you set up a close relationship with God and don't touch or B) you touch and the relationship will die, you're setting up what's called a "false dichotomy." In other words, you're saying there are only two outcomes and if she doesn't make a decision soon she'll regret it.

You're also making the assumption that long term relationships don't change over time, and that they can't be based on more than one thing at a time. I'll give you my current relationship as an example. We started of dating and slept together only after agreeing to commit to a monogamous relationship. At first it was based on sex, and I'm not ashamed to say that. If what emublue is saying is true, we would have burned out long ago. We've been dating a year since the first time we slept together. Of course it was based on physical stuff in the beginning, but we began to base our relationship on other things as well. Communication has been key along the way, definitely.

You're obviously at a crossroads here with many different paths to follow. A) don't be ashamed if you enjoy something, but B) if you have limits that you won't compromise on then communicate those to your bf. C) You'll probably feel guilty if you go past your limits too early, so this is really an exercise in setting limits and sticking to them, regardless of whether your bf wants to talk about it or not.

A) It's been my experience that one should get all the facts from whatever sources necessary to make an informed decision. If you'd like to belittle my advice because I don't have the same beliefs then you're certainly not practicing what you preach ("Love Thy Neighbor").

B) Marriage isn't a religious institution, it's a contract between two consenting adults. If it were a religious institution then atheists, and those with polytheistic beliefs (and some sects of Buddhism) couldn't get married. Sorry if you can't handle the cut and dry meaning of marriage as a contract and not a happy go lucky love train.



Back-pocket as a lustful act? I can certainly slip my hand in my significant other's back pocket without feeling lustful. Obviously you're placing this guilt upon yourself because you're inexperienced and "lust" still has a hold on you.



That may be what your elders have told you to think, but it has no basis in the Bible. In Old Testament times, a man would pay the father of a woman for her hand in marriage. The amount he paid depended on a number of different variables, including whether or not she was a virgin. Look up the story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel.

Where our English translations read 'fornication', Paul's original Greek word was 'porneia' which means to sell and refers to slaves bought and sold for cultic prostitution.

http://www.libchrist.com/bible/fornication.html

aw man, good luck

Okay I have to sisagree with marriage being a "religious institution". There is nothing religious about a piece of paper claiming that you and someone are "together forever" and that "you love eachother". That is complete and utter bull in my book.

In order for a good relationship to work you need to be touchy feely. Cuddle with them when they are cold. Hug them when they're sad. Kiss them (on the cheek) to make them feel better. Holding hands with your bf or gf makes them feel comfortable and secure same with the guy putting their hand in the backpocket. If you think this leads to sex then I think you're reading too into it. talk2hand

And yes this maybe a Christian guild but that doesn't automatically mean that every Christians' thoughts are going to be the same. Everyone's brain is wireded differently and we're all going to have differing opinions. That's what makes dicussion and debate so interesting.

And you've never been in a very successful relationship.

And how the hell would you know? You're making a false statement about my boyfriend. FYI: He lives in NJ. The only way I can talk to him is via myspace. Instead of making false accusations why don't you try getting the facts straight and leave your biased opions on my and anyone else's relationships out of this. Just because your relationship with you gf turned bad doesn't automatically mean that everyone else's will. My boyfriend IS NOT YOU!

And he will be just as okd and wrinkly as I will be (He's a year older than me. He's 18 I'm 17). ^__^. And that's funny because he has never told me I am sexy. Cute but not sexy. Another false assumption.

People change. Not all guys are pigs. Get over yourself.

So you're basically saying that I can't have an opinion. Excuse me but what century are you living in? Last I checked this is the 21st century not the 17th century when women were supposed to hold their tongues. Oh yeah and I am allowed to have an opinion. Maybe you should do a little more research on the Bill of Rights than you're little bible and actually learn something about the Constitution. ^__^.