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00zzzzyy generated a random number between
1 and 500 ...
296!
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 Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 4:51 am
A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man.
'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!
'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.
'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.
The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:06 am
A trains bout 2 crash!!! A frantic virgin strips naked and says "can anyone make me feel like a woman before i die?" So a man takes off his clothes and says "Iron these!"
This made me giggle...and i see u have my avi in ur sig Ozzy eek
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Marcus of Blood Manor Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 3:06 pm
Very funny guys!! Hey Ozz you have that mirror image on your signature now - cool - pm it to me ...would ya!!!!
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Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 3:06 pm
so a man dies and he is asked one simple question to get into heavan
god asks "how many seconds are in a year" now this man doesn't know math so he tries to get around the truth and responds "um... 12" as god started to say "that's not the correct answer" the man said "January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...etc.
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 12:22 pm
3 men, Joe, Bill, and Bob, die in a car crash and all go to heaven. when they get there God gives them a test about there life. He turns to Joe and asks, "Have you ever cheated on your wife?" Joe replies, "I have a couple times but i regret it." God replies, "Since you have cheated on your wife, you will have to drive a Prius." Joe takes the keys and walks through. God turns to Bill and asks the same question. Joe replies, "I have many times and everytime i was thinking of her." God replies, "You will have to drive a VW van." Joe takes the keys and walks through. God looks at Bob and asks the same question. Bob replies, "In our 16 years of marriage, i have never cheated on her once. I have never even thought of being with another women even after her death." God replies, "Good. Here are the keys to a Ferrari." Bob takes the keys and walks through. The next day, Joe and Bill see Bob crying in his car. They ask Bob whats wrong. Bob says, "I just seen my wife on a skateboard."
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:29 pm
a plane is about to crash. On the plane is the pilot, a catholic preist, warriors and a group of boy scouts. The pilot takes one of the parachutes and turns to the rest, "You guys should give the rest of the parachutes to the Boy Scouts because they have done more for the community then the rest of us." The pilot jumps out. The Warrior yells out, "******** the Boy Scouts." The priest replies, "Do we have time to?"
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Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 12:30 pm
Ohh dear more priest jokes yikes
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Posted: Sun Mar 30, 2008 5:35 pm
3 guys go in a cave to explore it ... when the cave entrance crumbels and they cant get out.
They were thinking of a plan when 1 of the guys found a geni bottle so he showed it to his friends.
Then they rubbed it and a geni came out and said i can grant u all 1 wish each.
The 1st guy said I want a way out of here and as woden d**k
The 2nd guy said i want a way out of here and a metal d**k
The 3rd guy said i want a way out of here and a 50 foot long d**k
So a week or so later the 3 guys meet back up and started talking ...the 3rd guy asked ....so guys do u like ur wishes??
The 1st guy said NO man i gave my wife spinters
The 2nd guys said I Me neither i gave my wife bruses
The 3rd says i LOVE my wish ...see that hot girl across the street ... boing boing .... and I can do that from here ...See my wish rocks...
i hope u like this joke.
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Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:22 am
A man is driving to a young kid's birthday party when a cop pulls him over.
"So, are you aware that you were driving at 95mph?"
"yes, sir, i am aware of that" replies the man.
"and why d'ya think you're doin that?" the cop interrogated.
"well you see, sir, i'm a juggler and i am going to a little kid's birthday party and didn't want to be late."
the cop explains to the man that he is fascinated by juggling and if the man can show the cop his act, then he will let the juggler off the hook. The man, in turn, explains that he sent his juggling equipment ahead, so the cop gets three flares out of the trunk of his car and lights them.
"try these."
as soon as the juggler starts performing his act, a drunk drives up behind the cop's car and stops. He watches the juggler for a little while and then gets out of his car, opens the rear door of the cop car and gets in. the cop finally notices this so he stops the juggler, excuses himself and goes up to the rear of his car.
"and just what d'you think you're doin'?" he asked as he opened the door to which the drunk replies:
"you might as well haul my a** to jail cuz theres NO WAY im passing that test!"
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