Welcome to Gaia! ::

Chapter 1

I am a thirteen year old German exchange student, starting my third year at Hogwarts. Well, at least that’s what my two terms of German knowledge and head of Auror headquarters tell me. I’m really twenty year old and 100% British Nymphadora Tonks, the girl who only learned that much German because she had shown a very vague interest in her fifth year at school and her Muggle Studies teacher got over-excited. At least now I’m being productive. My hair is now in a black braid trailing off my right shoulder, my eyes warm and brown. I am basically masquerading as a younger original me. I’m frantically trying to think of how to act like a German student who’s never been to Britain before. I look up at my superior, preparing to say goodbye for a whole nine months.

“Well…g—” Kingsley shoots me a warning look. Right, I’m supposed to be German. “Vell, tschüs Kingsley!”

“Goodbye, see you after term gets out.”

“Ja, I’ll see you später!” I say merrily. I get onto the Hogwarts Express, possibly even more nervous than when I was in third year. I’m supposed to be following Harry Potter around school, become his friend, to keep an eye out for Sirius Black trying to attack him. For some odd reason, I really hope he likes me. Harry, I mean of course. I already know Sirius liked me at one time…unless he was pretending to do that too.

I sight a mass of messy black hair, and lunge forward, knowing Harry because of how much he reminds me of his father in the appearance department. Oh wow, he’s a handsome lad! I lose sight of Harry and his friends among the tumult of the train, but finally manage to board the thing and get to looking. I finally find him with his friends in the very last compartment with a man I can only assume is far too old to be a seventh year. He seems familiar to me, but I can’t put a finger on it. I settle myself in the compartment across from them, pulling out a book called The German Witches’ Guide to English, part III. Most of my speech is going to be in English, of course, but I have to throw in a few German phrases to make my guise seem believable.

I peek at the three kids out of the corner of my eye, ready to make my first observation as an undercover Auror. Of course there’s Harry, I already know what he looks like. Though I never did notice how cool his eyes are, they’re absolutely gorgeous. Sitting beside him is a red-headed boy. Oh, most definitely a Weasley boy. He reminds me of Charlie, to tell the truth. Charlie was a wonderful snog back in the day. We’re friends now, no sexual tension whatsoever. Across from the boys is a girl. She’s not the prettiest, but neither was I when I was her age. Her hair is pretty crazy; I do hope she stays away from electric hair-dryers. Suddenly her brown eyes are meeting mine, and I quickly turn away, bringing my book up to my face to hide my blush. Oh, she just wanted to know what I was reading. Whew, false alarm. Oh no, she’s coming across the corridor! What the hell is she doing!?

“Um…hello…are you new?” she asks timidly. I quickly train my eyes to become wide and innocent, pulling my face out of the book.

“Hallo, guten morgen,” I say in a small voice. She blinks at me. Good, I’ve confused her; now go for the sweet naïve card! “Oh…sorry…um…” I rifle through the book’s pages. “Hello, good morning,” I say slowly, with a deliberately heavy accent. I am so good at this. The girl smiles widely at me. Harry and the Weasley boy followed her. “Ja, I am new hier.” The girl’s face fills with sympathy.

“Oh, well would you like to sit with us? I’m sure you haven’t exactly been welcomed warmly,” she said kindly.

“Vell…a blonde boy did look at me all lustig-like,” I say with a crooked frown on my face. Comprehension dawned on all three young faces.

“Yes, that was probably Malfoy,” the girl said sympathetically.

“Come and sit with us, we’ll tell you about Hogwarts,” Harry offered with an awkward grin. I give a small smile in return and bring only my rucksack across the corridor instead of my whole trunk.

“Danke,” I mutter, forcing a blush to my face. If I’m going to keep this up, I’ll have to perfect the art of blushing. Weasley shoots me a confused look. “Oh…I am sorry…I am not so gut vith the English, though Herr Laqua says I am doing quite well!”

“Your English is very good…er…what did you say your name was?” Harry asked. Oh dash it all, I forgot about a name. The one thing Kingsley told me to do, too! Ah well, I’m clever enough for a Hufflepuff.

“Ich heiße Dora Drom,” I invent quickly, using the nicknames my dad gave me and Mum as my names. “Ah…I am called…Dora Drom. Tut me lite.”

“Ah, no problem,” Hermione said brightly. “I’m Hermione Granger, and this is Ron Weasley and Harry Potter. So have you been living in England long?”

“Ach, nein, I have only lived here drei weeks. I learned English back home, as a zweitens language,” I invented quickly. They look at me funny. “Er…second…language…. Anyway, I tire of my own voice. Did you have gut holidays?” Good, go for the polite girl, people like that. The trio exchanged a small glance and stifled a laugh. I know what this is about. Harry accidentally blew up his aunt. “Vas, have I missed something?” I ask instead of ignoring the smiles.

“I…well…I accidentally blew up my aunt,” Harry said, turning a bit red. I make my eyes widen drastically.

“You…you mean…?” I made a gesture of a fake explosion with my hands in front of my stomach.

“No, no, like a balloon!” Harry corrected hurriedly.

“Really?” I ask interestedly. Hm, maybe I could make this a bit more fun. “Could you teach me? It’s only that I have a Tante who is sehr ärgert!” The three eyes me nervously for a moment, looking torn between amusement and desire to wake the sleeping man in the corner of the compartment. “That…vas a joke…” I mutter. Harry immediately started laughing. I smile at him appreciatively; he really is a sweet kid. I dunno why the Minister acts like he’s got the boy wrapped around his little finger, because he doesn’t seem too extraordinary. He’s just…a kid.

Hermione then goes into her trip to France, and Ron his holiday in Egypt. I noticed that Harry looks a bit glum, hearing about his friends going on all these trips with their families. My heart goes out to him. I know what it’s like without my parents. I always tell people I have much more confidence and peace of mind, but I never mean it. I am lost without them, and I’m guessing that’s how Harry feels about his own life. He’s just wandering, being repeatedly thrown into danger and barely escaping with his own life, let alone the lives of those who are fighting with him.

“So, what about you Dora? Did you do anything fun with your family over holiday?” Hermione asked me. I snap out of my thoughts, glad I wasn’t staring at Harry as I thought of him, and decide to become even closer to the Boy Who Lived.

“Nein, Mutti und Vati are with God. They were too good for me,” I say quietly. Hermione’s eyes widen with sympathy. “You know the Autobahn?” Hermione’s the only one who nods. Surprise, surprise.

“It’s a highway in Germany, where there are parts that have no speed limit, right?” Harry asks tentatively. I nod, feeling my throat tighten.

“We were going on holiday when I vas a kleines Mädchen, only drei Jahre alt. Mutti and Vati usually avoided the schneller parts of Autobahn for my sake, but we were in a hurry to get there…. I was in the hospital for drei Monate.” I scratched by eyes, not really acting anymore. My parents had actually died five years later than when I told the kids, the same day Harry’s parents had died. No one knew that there had been two other wizards killed in the blast Sirius Black shot at Peter Pettigrew, besides the ten muggles. I have a huge scar on my shoulder as a reminder. I had been pushed out of range by my father, bless him.

“I’m sorry Dora, I didn’t realize…” Hermione said apologetically. I wave it off as nothing.

“Es ist OK…I don’t remember them much,” I said vacantly, turning quickly to look out the window. It was true; I could hardly remember what my parents looked like anymore. “Oma und Opa raised me, they are kind people. Opa likes to wear lederhosen, though. He’s sehr altmodisch.”

“What’re lederhosen?” Ron asked. I smiled.

“Well it can be translated zwei ways. One way is…leather pants, but that is not what Opa wears. They are traditional clothing, green overall shorts, with those fancy designs. I think Muggle Filme put them on people yodeling in the mountains?” Comprehension dawns on all three faces, even if they hadn’t seen any of the films.

“Can you yodel too?” Harry asked curiously. I felt a blush creep up my face. The Muggle Studies teacher had taught me more than just the language.

“Ja, I can,” I mutter. “You don’t want to hear, do you? I only haven’t done it in zwei Jahre.” Why did I say I could yodel? Now they look interested! Dash it all! “You want to hear, of course you do…” I pull in a deep breath, as do the kids, and I let it out in a long loud yodel (the key to yodeling is being loud). The sleeping professor in the corner lets in a sharp intake of breath and turns his head, and we all gasp suddenly.

“Oh, I shouldn’t have been…so…loud…” I fade off, finally seeing the man’s face. He was still asleep, and so familiar to me. His light brown hair was graying in places, and there were worry lines and scars scattered across his face, but he was the same man I had known twelve years ago. “Oh my,” I whisper, thankfully keeping my German accent up.

“What?” Hermione asked, looking from me to the professor.

“I know him,” I whispered again. “…Remus…Lupin…” Before any more words could be said, the train shuddered so violently I fell forward, banging my forehead on the edge of Ron and Harry’s seat painfully. Instead of getting up immediately only to fall down again from the sparks in my eyes, I remain on my knees on the floor, clasping my hands to my aching head.

“Dora, are you alright?” Harry asked as the lights in the train went out.

“Ja…I’m fine…” I said slowly, moving my hands away from my forehead to look around for the course of the power-outage. “Warum bin die Lichter aus? I am going to look.” I push myself up and move into the corridor, leaving the compartment door open. “Do you think we’re going to break down?” As if in answer to my question the train lurches again and I fly nearly ten feet forward in the train, other students looking for a problem landing on top of me. Perfect.

I double-checked that my wand was tucked into the waistband of my skirt as I dug myself out from under at least three seventh year boys. Damn those guys are heavy. I don’t stand immediately, though it feels as if the train has indeed stopped.

“Dora, are you okay?” I heard Hermione calling down the corridor. Before I even opened my mouth I felt an overwhelming cold envelope me. Though I’d never experienced it before, I knew what was happening.

“Go back into your compartments, schnell!” I shout at all surrounding students, pulling out my wand. “Hermione, go, I know what to do, you do not!” I said quickly, pushing Hermione back into the compartment before following and locking the door.

“What is it, what’s out there?” a new voice asked. I stiffened considerably. Remus must have awoken when the train jerked the second time.

“A Dementor,” I whisper as the door begins to open, despite my locking it. My hair had long since fallen out of its braid as I found my way reluctantly to the floor again, weak under the horrifying cold. My wand is still tightly clasped in my left hand, and I aim it half-heartedly at the Dementor. Kingsley had promised that I wouldn’t have to deal with these until I was at least a third year Auror, so I had grown lax in my self-training of the Patronus Charm. Dash it all. My right hand goes behind me so I’m steady and balanced, confirming that I’m near the farthest point from the creature. I push myself against this wall, beneath the window.

Oh Merlin, Harry’s collapsed. I grab his arm and quickly pull him near me. At least I can say I lost my soul protecting Harry Potter’s. White fog is ensnaring my vision; I can hear the screaming women and Sirius Black’s maniacal laughter as if I were there again. I was so sure I was going to die that day, but instead I’m going to be converted to a soulless vegetable. I don’t realize I’m sobbing until silver light shines through the fog, and the cold disappears. I quickly wipe my eyes on the gray cloth covering the knees that are drawn to my chest before looking up at my rescuer.

“Is everyone alright?” Remus Lupin asked, looking mostly at me. It’s no wonder, seeing as I’m still trying to control my breathing and make it sound like I wasn’t just crying. I’m also clutching Harry in my free right hand, every inch of me shaking. I forced a nod; closing my eyes and feeling more tears creep down my face. Before anyone could say anything else I opened my eyes and shook Harry’s shoulder lightly.

“Harry…Harry, wake up,” I say gently, making sure to keep my accent in place. His awesome eyes slowly open and meet mine. I let out a relieved breath; he’s alright, I won’t be fired. Well that’s not true, I could still be fired for being unable to fight off a Dementor on my own. “Are you OK?” I asked him, my eyes honestly wide with worry. I had come extremely close to passing out myself, but Harry had collapsed almost immediately.

“I’m…I’m…what happened?” Harry asked weakly, pushing himself up. I quickly removed my hand from his arm.

“It was a Dementor, one of the dementors of Azkaban prison. They were looking for Sirius Black, no doubt,” I supplied quickly. “Harry, are you OK?” I asked again, more insistently this time.

“Yeah, I think so,” he finally said. I then realized we were still on the floor and pushed myself up only to fall back onto my knees, drained from the dementor’s attack. Remus helped me and Harry up onto the seats before handing each of us a bit of chocolate. Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked at him oddly, but I quickly accepted it.

“Danke Professor,” I said quickly. The trio looked at me oddly. “It’s OK, chocolate helps for after-effects of a dementor-attack,” I assure them. I made sure to read that part of Dementor Defense Handbook: Will you be Ready? It was chapter fourteen: The Importance of Chocolate. Of course I read it immediately. It was quite informative; I made sure to eat plenty of chocolate afterwards (not that I needed persuading).

“You’re welcome, Miss…I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name,” Remus said, though I’m quite sure he knows perfectly well who I am.

“Professor, this is Dora Drom, she’s an exchange student,” Hermione informed him. Remus met my eye and smiled in that same way I’d grown accustomed to as a child. Merlin, I’d had the biggest crush on him, and it seemed to be reawakening now.

“It’s very nice to meet you Dora, but if you’ll excuse me I must speak with the driver.” I watched him walk away. I haven’t been back for more than four hours and I’m already in over my head.

I am a German exchange student, I am a German exchange student, and I am a thirteen year old!

Chapter 3

The first thing Tonks got that morning, along with the rest of the school, was her schedule and—surprise, surprise—she had all the same classes as Harry!

“Hey that’s pretty cool, did you pick your classes?” Harry asked, looking over her shoulder to see her schedule.

“Ja, they sent me a list to pick from, and I liked these,” Tonks said with a shrug. “Looks like we’ve got Defense Against der Dark Arts third period, I cannot wait until später.”

“You like Professor Lupin Dora?” Hermione asked. A small redheaded girl slid into the seat beside the older girl.

“He is a sehr gut man, of course I like him,” Tonks said a bit uncomfortably. She really hoped they didn’t think she meant in the girly crush way instead of the student-teacher way. That was mostly because she’d had the lesser feelings for the man since she was seven, even now. The bell for first period rang, and Tonks went with a heavy heart to Potions, where she would probably be verbally abused for her fake German accent.

Snape had always hated her, but this was ridiculous. He sneered at her from where she sat, causing Ron (whom she was sitting beside) to ask what she had done to the Professor to make him so mad at her. Tonks didn’t even answer him, just squinted up at the board to try and decipher Snape’s tiny pinched writing.

She still remembered when she was actually in Hogwarts. Snape made it a point to make sure she had no friends. No one wanted to be friends with the cousin of notorious mass-murderer Sirius Black. He would pointedly ask how her parents were, and then ‘remember’ that her parents had been murdered by her cousin. Needless to say, Tonks had left more than one Potions class in rages of tears.

Third period couldn’t come soon enough for Tonks. Harry, Ron, and Tonks all arrived and sat in the front. Hermione came in a moment before the bell rang and Remus entered. Hermione sighed in disappointment when Remus said they would be going to the staff room; she had just come from that area. Tonks quietly wondered what he could be doing with them there until she saw the rattling wardrobe and paled. A standard Boggart.

“Can anyone tell me what is in this wardrobe? Hermione?” Remus asked when Hermione’s hand shot up before he’d even finished speaking.

“It’s a Boggart, sir. A Boggart takes the shape of whatever it is you most fear.” Hermione was a walking textbook!

“Yes it is, ten points to Gryffindor. There is one thing that you need to know to fight a Boggart. Have you spotted it, Harry?”

“Er…if you have more than one person…the Boggart won’t know what to turn into?” Harry guessed blindly. Tonks grinned at him and nodded.

“Exactly, take another ten to Gryffindor. Now, the key to destroying a Boggart is a simple Incantation: Ridikkulus! Say it with me now, no wands yet. 1, 2, 3, Ridikkulus! Yes, excellent, Neville? Would you care to join me up here in the front?” Remus was doing a fine job so far. Tonks nearly died of laughter upon seeing Snape in drag. It was wonderful.

“Alright, everyone take a moment to think of your greatest fear,” Remus said slowly, eyeing Tonks. Most people closed their eyes, thinking hard, and Tonks took this moment to shrink back in the line that had formed. Remus had a guess at what her Boggart would be, but he would be wrong. Tonks bumped into someone and turned around; it was a very puzzled looking Harry.

“You OK Harry?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah, yeah…just trying to think of how to make a Dementor funny…” Harry said thoughtfully.

“Well, here, why don’t you and I go to the back of the line? This way we’ll both have time to think,” Tonks said hurriedly, tugging Harry by the sleeve to the back. He got into line behind her.

Tonks knew that her Boggart would be Sirius Black, but it wouldn’t be the deranged criminal everyone else saw him as. She didn’t know how he would look, but it would have been before he was arrested. She knew Remus would recognize him immediately. Oh Merlin, how would Remus react? How would she react? Well, she couldn’t back out now. Perhaps if she imagined Sirius in drag like Snape? No, that only brought up more memories of when she was little. But, it was funny; it made her smile a little bit at least. Maybe by the time her turn was done the Boggart would be destroyed, and Harry wouldn’t have to deal with it. That’s it, she had to do it. She had to be strong for Harry…but what makes a convicted murderer funny!?

As the line moved along, and Ron faced his spider, and Parvati her mummy, Tonks still hadn’t thought of anything to make Sirius Black a funny sight. She searched her memories for anything that would still be funny about him today, but none helped so she moved farther back in her memories. There was some sort of wall around her eighth year of life, probably because she avoided that year at all costs. By the time she made it to the front, she was frozen in time, a little girl of six years old at Lily and James’s wedding. The Boggart turned its gaze onto her, vanished into a cloud of smoke, and finally became the form of a young, happy, Sirius Black.

Everyone in the classroom gasped and took several steps back except for Tonks and Remus. Sirius looked exactly the same as when he did at the Evans-Potter wedding. His suit coat was hanging open, the shirt was untucked, his tie loosened, and his hair wild. He removed one of his hands from his pockets and held it out to her. Tonks felt her head tilt to one side the same way it had fourteen years ago.

“Just once Dorrie?” Sirius asked, his smile and eyes tearing Tonks apart inside. Tonks’s wand fell from her limp hand. People around her were whispering, wondering how the German girl knew Sirius Black before he was arrested. Tonks backed away several steps and ran right into Harry again. She caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye; he didn’t recognize him, good. It was true that Harry didn’t know Sirius Black was his godfather, but Tonks was almost sure Harry would recognize him from his parents’ wedding photo she knew he had. As if reading her mind, Harry’s eyes widened in realization. Tonks fought the urge to groan, and instead felt a shiver run up her spine as Sirius took another step closer to her.

“Don’t you realize you were wrong?” he asked quietly. Tonks shuddered against Harry. “Don’t you see what has been right in front of you all this time?” Remus quickly stepped forward as Tonks fled to the back of the room, tears evident. The Boggart shifted into a floating white orb that glowed so brightly it hurt the eyes of those nearby.

“Ridikkulus,” Remus said tensely, and the orb vanished. “Excellent job everyone, I think that’s enough fun for one day. Class dismissed.” Tonks began to run across the room to the door, wiping her face.

“Dora are you okay?” Hermione asked before Tonks made it to the door. Tonks quickly nodded, though when she blinked tears fell from her eyes.

“Miss Drom, may I have a word please?” Remus asked from behind Tonks. She jumped and spun around, forgetting he was there.

“Uh…Ja, du can sir,” she said shakily. She waved goodbye to the others and they left her behind. Remus closed the door, and Tonks saw his suddenly red eyes.

“Remus I am so sorry about that, I shouldn’t have gotten in line at all, it was stupid of me, I nearly blew my cover and…I’m sorry,” Tonks said thickly, frantically trying to dry her eyes.

“Your worst fear is Sirius at Lily and James’s wedding?” Remus asked without acknowledging her apologies. Tonks shook her head with a sniff, and Remus finally seemed to wake up a bit. He pulled her into a tight embrace.

“M-my worst fear…is that the Aurors missed something…that Sirius was actually innocent…and that I somehow could have stopped it…I mean, I was there! I saw it happen! I was the only survivor, and they questioned me for so long…” Tonks found herself morphing into her twenty year old self so she could fit in Remus’s arms better.

“You did not make a mistake,” Remus said firmly. “You saw what you saw, and the Ministry was wrong to interrogate you like that…not even out of the hospital yet!” Remus’s last statement was angered, and he pulled her more tightly to his chest. “Are you going to be okay?” he finally asked, separating them. Tonks shrank back down into Dora Drom.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay…. Thank you Remus, for the hug,” Tonks said quietly. She looked up at him and saw something different in his eyes. Something had changed since the night before, and a line was soon to be crossed if they kept meeting privately. Tonks found herself morphing back to her twenty year old self and staring directly into Remus’s eyes, though she had to look up slightly.

She pushed herself up onto her toes and planted a kiss onto Remus’s cheek, near his ear. “You kept me sane too, you know,” she whispered. Before she could back up she felt Remus’s hands wrap around her waist, holding her in place. “Remus…” she whispered, slightly breathless.

“I’ve never seen you look so…grown up,” Remus said quietly, and Tonks remembered that he had only seen her as a thirteen year old thus far.

“I am grown up,” Tonks still whispered.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

Remus and Tonks stared into one another’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. Their breathing was shallow and fast, their hearts racing. What was about to happen would create a paradigm shift. Neither of them would be the same. Remus bent down slightly, Tonks moving up again, and their lips met. It was brief, almost chaste, but Tonks’s heart was thudding sporadically in her chest. The blush on Remus’s face showed that he was having heart troubles as well.

“I should probably…catch up with Harry…” Tonks finally said, leaning heavily against the door because her knees had gone slightly wobbly.

“Yes, you probably…should…” Remus said. “I should…get to class too…students are probably waiting…”

“Right! Oh man, we’ve got Divination next in the North Tower! I should really go,” Tonks suddenly returned to herself, but nearly rushed out of the room before morphing back into a thirteen year old. She and Remus shared a small secretive smile before they finally lost sight of one another.

Tonks made it to Divination floating on a cloud. Hermione looked at her suspiciously, making her ask what the trouble was. Her eyes were apparently violet.

“Really? It must be the lights,” Tonks said dismissively whilst discreetly shifting her angle to a window and morphing her eyes back to normal at the same time. Hermione shrugged and passed it off as nothing. Tonks forgot just how annoying and boring Divination was until she got up there.

“I do not like this class already,” Tonks said, looking slightly apprehensive. She did not want to see—

“Welcome, my children, to the noble class of Divination!”

Tonks was surprised she didn’t already have a headache. She remained quietly judging Trelawney, until the buggy woman turned to her.

“You, my dear…you’re aura is different from the way you appear…” she said slowly.

“Vell, it is a common fact in Deutschland that foreign auras are not the same as English ones,” Tonks said, barely stifling a laugh. Harry, Ron, and Hermione sniggered quietly toward the puzzled look on Trelawney’s face.

“You made that up, didn’t you?” Ron asked as Trelawney suddenly became fascinated by Parvati Patil’s aura.

“Ja, every Wort,” she choked out quietly. With a scraping of poufs everyone stood to get a teacup. Tonks followed obediently and got one of the pretty pink cups. Of course, with her skills of stealth, she stumbled on a stool and the cup went flying. “Sorry!” she moaned.

“Take a blue one please,” the Professor said simply, quickly sweeping up the broken china. Tonks nodded quietly and took a blue cup of tea instead, returning to the small table with the others. They all drank their scalding tea, burning their tongues lightly but excited to be reading one another’s futures.

“Rotate clockwise?” Hermione suggested, handing her cup to Ron. Ron nodded and handed his to Tonks, Tonks’s to Harry and Harry’s to Hermione. Tonks flipped her book open and began gazing into Ron’s tea leaves.

“It looks like du hast…” Tonks rifled with the pages, “…a sun. Dass means happiness lies ahead für du.” Ron looked delighted. “Wer ist next?”

“I will!” Ron volunteered. Hermione eyed him warily, her gaze switching from Ron to her cup anxiously. “You’ve got a little ladder in there…unexpected gold!? Can we trade?”

“No!” Hermione said sternly. “Now, it’s your turn to read Harry.”

“Okay,” Harry said, looking deep into Tonks’s cup. Curiosity getting the better of her, Tonks peered over Harry’s shoulder to see. “No peeking!” Tonks made her eyes three times wider than usual, jokingly exaggerating her accent.

“I am sorry, I do not speak English gibt mier meine cup!” Tonks snatched the cup away from a laughing Harry. For the second time that day she wanted to run from the room, or at least hide under a conveniently placed rock for a while.

“What is it?” Hermione asked, seeing that Tonks had gone quiet.

“Der Wolf…ein großes Geheimnis.”

“Uh…I heard wolf in there,” Harry said with a shrug. Tonks shook her head as if clearing it.

“Ich habe the Wolf…a great secret,” she said slowly, tilting her head thoughtfully. Hermione looked at her with an even more curious look on her face. “Well, anyway…sorry I ruined your fun Harry, I was curious.”

“No problem, I would have trouble distinguishing the Wolf and Dog anyway,” Harry dismissed easily.

“Well I’ve got something in Harry’s cup that could be both, may I see yours Dora?” Hermione asked politely. Tonks nodded and passed her cup around the table to her. “No, there is a distinction…looks like you’ve got yourself a dog, Harry.” Ron surprisingly gulped.

“What?” Tonks asked, tilting her head. Trelawney answered for her, swooping down upon them and snatching Harry’s cup from Hermione’s hands. She let out a shriek of horror, and Tonks grimaced.

“My boy…my dear, dear boy…you have…the Grim!” People all around the room gasped and crowded around Harry’s cup to get a closer look. Everyone seemed quite reluctant to touch it, however, so Tonks boldly snatched it from Trelawney’s sparkly clutches. She squinted critically at the blobs of tea leaves, and thought she might see something similar to a dog there, but it looked more like a sheep instead. Or it could be a bear.

The thought of a bear-dog seemed to strike an odd sort of chord in Tonks’s brain. She had never owned a dog, never seen a bear in real life, but this was different to her. It was as if a switch had been turned on in her memory. It hurt dully to think about in excess, so she started thinking about other things.

“It doesn’t really look like a Grim, as much as a bear,” she offered hopefully. Harry looked around as if asking what the big deal was.

“The Grim, the omen of death! Oh my poor child!” Trelawney continued to blubber about for the next twenty minutes. Harry was sufficiently flushed through the rest of the afternoon, as people from the class kept shooting him worried looks. It wasn’t as if he were about to drop dead at any moment!

The rest of the week passed by slowly and monotonously, Tonks wondering idly why she’d ever gone to school in the first place. It was so boring to go through classes a second time! She kept herself busy by balancing as many quills as she could on her nose when the teachers weren’t looking. Harry would pass them to her discreetly under the desk, and once the teacher’s back was turned she started balancing them. So far she’d made it to ten at a time before a teacher looked. Professor Flitwick turned a blind eye as long as her work was finished.

The third week of term brought about news of a Hogsmeade visit. Harry was probably looking forward to it more than Hermione, who Tonks soon discovered was fascinated by everything to do with the Wizarding World. Tonks had seen the village before, and she was dreading the day anyway, and she was vaguely surprised Harry wasn’t a bit down in spirits at the prospect of that day as well. It was the anniversary of their parents’ deaths, after all.

Not only did the third week bring good news, but also an almost expected “absence” from Remus. Tonks noticed it (and knew what it was, judging by the moon shining in her window), the others noticed it, and Snape certainly noticed it. He was taking over the Defense classes for Remus, something Tonks did not enjoy. He was docking off points from Tonks because she had said one word wrong when answering a question he shot at her.

“Really Miss Drom, you’ve been in England for nearly two months now, you should be able to string together one proper sentence,” he drawled, a satisfied sneer curling on his face. Tonks wanted to vomit. Harry and Ron looked outraged; Hermione was furiously scribbling notes from the textbook, too focused to notice anything was wrong. Tonks quickly reached over and put a hand on Harry’s arm to keep his temper in check. Physical contact seems to be the trick with that boy.

Later that night, after she finished her work and gave it to Harry and Ron to look at (Hermione was in the library), Tonks heads to Remus’s office to see if he was there. Knocking gently, she peered in the door that was slightly ajar. There was the sound of rustling blankets and a small sleepy groan.

“Remus?” she whispered. The sounds of movement immediately stopped, as if Remus was trying to identify the speaker. “Remus, it’s me, Tonks. I came to check on you.”

“Tonks?” Remus’s raspy voice parroted.

“Yeah, can I come in?” Tonks whispered. Remus hesitated briefly before answering in the affirmative. Tonks opened the door to see the Professor quickly sitting up in bed, looking as if he were trying not to look wan and pale and weak. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Remus answered simply, shrugging his shoulders. Tonks raised an eyebrow at him.

“Tired? Really? You spent the night with your bones disconnected and reconnected in a different fashion, and all you’ve got is tired?” Tonks asked, making sure the door was closed before morphing into her twenty year old self, along with purple hair. She had had the sense to change into muggle clothes before setting out, knowing that she didn’t want to look like she wanted ‘something special’ from Remus when she got there and morphed. She sat herself on the edge of the bed, pushing the professor back down in bed. “Lie down, you need to rest.”

“I’m fine!” Remus insisted, moving her hands away from his shoulders. Tonks raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

“You are a bad liar. Now lie down and hush! I’ll make you some tea.” Remus settled back onto the bed with a sheepish smile on his face, allowing Tonks to stand and search for the kettle, her purple hair askew. He watched silently for several moments, looking amused at her attempts to find aforementioned cookery.

“Fine, so I don’t know where it is!” Tonks finally huffed, straightening up from where she’d been looking in a low cupboard. Remus allowed himself a few chuckles of mirth.

“If you would hand me my wand, I could show you where the kettle is,” he offered. Tonks let out a small sigh of annoyance and handed her friend the wand that was on the bedside table. He took it and nearly looked relieved to see that a cupboard door flew open on his command.

“Here we go, finally,” Tonks said in a relieved voice, setting a tray of teacups and kettle on the bedside table. Remus sat up again, and this time Tonks’s vision was drawn to Remus’s bare torso and, most likely, bare waist and legs as well. She swallowed, hard, and forced herself to look into Remus’s eyes. “So how are you really?”

“You obviously know me too well,” Remus said with a small smile. Tonks raised an eyebrow at him in a ‘don’t you toy with me’ fashion. “I’m alright; it’s not so bad as it used to be now that there’s Wolfsbane.”

“But…?”

“But…I’m still slightly sore. Is that a crime?” Remus asked innocently. Tonks smiled and shook her head, fondness gleaming in her eyes as she poured them each a mug of tea.

“Not at all, just a pity,” she said as Remus took a sip of the warm liquid. He couldn’t fight the smile on his lips at the sweet taste. It reflected its maker greatly, he noticed as she sent him almost a shy smile. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Tonks gazing out the window with a pensive look on her face.

“I heard about the upcoming Hogsmeade trip…what day it’s on…” Remus broke the silence. Tonks snapped so attention so suddenly her mug went flying.

“Reparo,” she muttered quickly, her face flushing. “Yes, I suppose I’ll have to greatly distract myself if I’ll be going with Harry…. It’s hard to believe how soon Halloween’s coming…” She remained crouched on the floor even though the mug had long since been retrieved. Her violet eyes turned up to Remus, desperation evident. “Has it really been twelve years, Remus?”

“I’m afraid so,” Remus said quietly as Tonks folded her arms on the edge of the bed and laid her head down on them. He absently reached up a hand and began stroking her hair in a comforting gesture. “It must be hard for you, even after so long…” he whispered. He heard Tonks sniff, her face now hidden. She nodded, her shoulders trembling slightly.

“It’s got to be…be h-hard for you too, right?” she asked to divert the attention from her crying. Her hand slipped from beneath her chin and closed around Remus’s.

“Of course it is,” Remus said shortly. “I lost my best friends at the hand of another supposed friend. How could it not be difficult?”

“I understand,” Tonks said quietly, removing her face from her arms with a surprisingly dry face. “I don’t much fancy acting cheerful in Hogsmeade. Perhaps you and I could go and be mopey together, and I could still keep an eye on Harry without being discovered?” She had adopted her voice into an adorable pleading one she frequently used on her grandparents when she wanted something.

“Well…I suppose I could. I want to distract myself too, so it wouldn’t hurt,” Remus said. “But it’s full moon the night after, so I’ll be a bit withdrawn anyway.”

“I don’t mind at all,” Tonks quickly said, smiling and forgetting that she was holding Remus’s hand. “We’ll make it fun, I promise!” She leaned forward to hug Remus excitedly, but stopped at the smell. “Remus, no offence, but how long has it been since you bathed?” Remus turned red around the edges.

“Not that long, really. It’s just the fact that I’m always a bit clammy leading up to and following moonrise. That, and the fact that I transformed into a smelly animal for eight hours lead me to need a bath. I apologize.”

“No need, I was being rude anyway,” Tonks quickly amended. “Where’s the bathroom?” Remus pointed to a door in the corner of the room in response. For a moment Tonks considered drawing Remus a bath, but then thought against it. That was far too personal, something a lover would do, and Tonks was definitely not Remus’s lover.

Was she?

She halted in her tracks.

And if not, did that mean she couldn’t be?

Chapter 5

“So, what was the village like?” Tonks asked the kids once they returned to the Common Room. She had pretended to get a message from work and Flooed to McGonagall’s office a good twenty minutes before the kids left the Three Broomsticks. When she had been keeping herself busy, her headache wasn’t as noticeable, but now that she was sitting still, it returned with a vengeance.

“Honestly, we didn’t see much of the village,” Harry said as he sat on the couch beside her. “We met Lupin’s date, though.”

“Wirklich? What was she like?” Tonks asked, sitting up and grinning despite a sudden throb in her temples.

“She’s very young, only about twenty it seems,” Hermione said.

“She had this wicked pink hair, and was really funny,” Ron added in.

“And she pushed Lupin down a hill at the beginning of the day, and knew my parents!” Harry said excitedly. “She and Lupin told us all these great stories about them, because apparently my dad was one of Lupin’s best friends.”

“She was really very nice,” Hermione said earnestly. “She was so easy to be around; you’d think we already knew her.”

“Wow, wirklich? That’s really great,” Tonks laughed off casually.

“Hey, the Halloween Feast is starting soon, should we head to the Great Hall?” Ron asked in a voice that was accompanying a rumbling stomach.

“Yeah, let’s get going,” Harry laughed. They all stood up, and Tonks felt a wave of dizziness sweep through her with the headache.

“Dora, are you okay? You look pale,” Hermione asked as Tonks swayed slightly.

“I’m fine, just a headache,” she dismissed quickly. “I think I’ll go to the Krankhaus before the feast, get a potion that will help.”

“Want one if us to go with you?” Ron asked, though he was already halfway out the portrait hole. Tonks shook her head.

“Nein, I can manage,” she said quietly. They all left the common room, but Tonks went right when the kids went left. She met McGonagall coming out of her office as she passed. The Professor looked around to make sure they were alone before addressing her.

“Good evening Nymphadora,” she greeted.

“Evening Minerva,” Tonks said, promptly dropping her accent.

“I was about to go the other way, why are you coming this way?” the professor inquired. Tonks told her of the headache, but not the dizziness. She wasn’t ready for McGonagall to get worried yet. “You are looking pale…I’ll walk you to Madam Pomfrey.”

“Oh, please, that really isn’t necessar—”

“Nymphadora, I saw you stumbling as I walked out the door, therefore I think this necessary,” McGonagall cut in strictly. She grabbed Tonks’s elbow in her bony hand tightly and began marching her toward the hospital wing. She hung off the Professor’s hand like when she was actually in school and being led to the Headmaster.

She was about to cut in with another protest, but felt more pain than she’d ever felt before. It was so bad she felt sick. Things were quickly spinning out of her reach. Only one thing was in reach, and that was the floor.

“Nymphadora!” was the last thing she heard before she closed her eyes.



“Where’s Dora? She said she would just be getting a headache cure,” Hermione said worriedly. She kept her eyes on the doors to the Great Hall as if willing them to open.

“She did say she hadn’t been feeling well lately,” Harry said. “Maybe Madam Pomfrey made her stay for the night.”

Professor McGonagall stepped into the Great Hall, ten minutes into the feast, looking slightly distressed. She stopped halfway to her seat, whispered something into Lupin’s ear, and then continued to her seat beside Dumbledore and spoke to him in hurried hushed tones. Lupin stood up and walked to Gryffindor Table, looking at Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

“Professor McGonagall asked me to inform you that your friend Dora will not be joining us for the feast,” he said with a face white with concern.

“Isse alwigh’?” Ron asked with a mouth full of mashed potatoes. Lupin shook his head.

“I’m not entirely sure. Professor McGonagall just said Dora lost consciousness while she was walking her to the hospital wing. I’m going to check up on her after the feast, and I’ll inform you of her condition.”

“We could just go after, you don’t have to Professor,” Harry said with his own shake of the head. Lupin’s voice became sterner.

“Madam Pomfrey has asked that only staff and family be authorized to see her for now, Harry. I’m sorry,” he said before turning around and heading back up to the staff table.

“She doesn’t have any family,” Hermione said quietly. “She’s got her grandparents, but they live in Germany!”

“Lupin knew her parents though, he’s close enough to be family,” Ron corrected. “I’m sure Madam Pomfrey will let us see her tomorrow morning.” Hermione looked at Harry, who nodded.

“You’re right. Let’s just leave it for now,” he said. “She’ll probably be out by morning anyway.”

With the reassuring thought in their heads, they left the feast that evening and made their way upstairs behind the rest of the house. Movement abruptly came to a halt in front of the Fat Lady.

“Neville forget the password?”

“Hey!”

“Oh, sorry Neville…. So what’s the holdup?”

Ginny came pushing her way through the crowd, her face white. “The Fat Lady’s gone! Her canvas is ruined, and Peeves said that it was Sirius Black!”

The entirety of the school was herded down into the Great Hall for the evening while Dumbledore and the rest of the frantic staff searched the school. It was too late, though. Sirius Black had already escaped.



The next morning came, and proved Harry wrong. They went to the hospital wing just in time to see Lupin leaving. He shook his head to their questioning eyes.

“She hasn’t woken yet, but I assure you I’ll let you know when she does,” he said with the air of a man who hadn’t slept a wink the night before. Instead of starting to go to his office like they thought he would (giving them an opportunity to sneak in), Lupin went back inside the Infirmary.

Remus made sure the kids had walked away before stepping through the curtain that was dividing one bed from the rest. It wouldn’t bode well for them to see their good friend Dora aged seven years overnight. He sat down and picked up the book he had brought with him to help his nerves, waiting for her to wake up. Madam Pomfrey said that Tonks had sworn her to secrecy, making her unable to tell Remus anything of her condition. Tonks had to tell him herself.

Even though she was twenty years old, fully grown in all matters, Remus thought she looked small in the bed. Madam Pomfrey had put several small stickers across her forehead that were flashing all different colors, those colors represented on the lines of a chart being spit out of a parchment roll several feet away. Her black hair was spread out across the pillow, eyes remaining stubbornly closed.

“Please wake up soon,” Remus whispered, putting the book down again. He covered one of her small hands completely with his. It wasn’t normal for a perfectly healthy young woman to just fall unconscious for days at a time. If there was something wrong with her, if he lost her…

First James, then Lily, then Harry, Peter, Sirius…I can’t lose you too… Remus thought to himself, lowering his face into one shaking hand. He could hear Madam Pomfrey moving around in her office, her movements along with Tonks’s breathing falling into a gentle hum in his head, lulling him into a fitful doze.

He was unsure of how long he was out of it, but he jerked awake when Tonks’s hand twitched in his. It looked to be around mid-afternoon, and Tonks was awake. Her eyes were slightly squinted against the sunlight, but she was smiling at Remus.

“How long was I out for?” she asked hoarsely.

“About a day,” Remus said quietly.

“The kids worried?”

“Of course they are,” Remus said quickly. Tonks’s hand turned over and closed around his. “Are you going to tell me why you passed out, or avoid it?”

“I was wondering how long it would take you to ask,” she said with a smile, pulling her hand out of his. “When I was fifteen, Charlie and I were at the site where…you know…it happened.” Remus fought a shudder. “And I had had this really horrible headache for nearly three days by then, and I passed out at the sight. I woke up in St. Mungo’s because it was closer to make an illegal Portkey to instead of Hogwarts.”

“Charlie made an illegal Portkey?” Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, apparently he nearly sent us flying right up the nose of some random middle-aged Healer with a fake Russian accent,” Tonks said dismissively. Remus snorted lightly before becoming serious again.

“What did they tell you?” Tonks tensed up slightly, then her tone became gentle, as if she were about to administer some very bad news.

“Remus…they said that there’s something wrong…with my head.” She tightened her grip on his hand. “Back when I was fifteen, they said that if they didn’t figure out what was wrong and fix it…I would have five years.”

“To do what?” Remus asked, knowing full well what she meant.

“‘To do what?’ Remus, five years to live!” Tonks said, more sharply than she had intended. She closed her eyes and took a breath to calm down.

“Sorry, but it was a stupid question,” she said shakily. “Anyway…that was just over four years ago. I suppose my time’s just running out.”

“You knew all this time and didn’t tell me?” Remus asked, unable to say anything else. Tonks looked down, having the decency to turn red in shame.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. She fiddled with her hands, refusing to look him in the eye.

“You…have a year to live,” Remus said slowly. He was trying to help himself understand.

“I have less than a year, more like a matter of months. I heard Poppy and Minerva talking last night; I woke up for a few minutes. They said it’s become more aggressive since the last time I was checked up on.”

“And when was that?”

“…Three years ago.”

“Nymphadora!”

“I didn’t have time for anything but my training! I hadn’t had any problems, so I didn’t let it worry me!” Tonks argued halfheartedly.

“Nymphadora, haven’t you ever heard of the calm before the storm?” Remus reprimanded her. Tonks closed her eyes and put a hand over them, sighing quietly.

“I know, I know,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry Remus, I was young and foolish.”

“You’re still so young,” Remus choked out. He dropped his forehead into his hands again, trying to regain his composure. Nymphadora, the only branch of the Black family tree that didn’t wilt, was dying. He was losing her too now.

“Remus.”

He didn’t raise his head.

“Remus, come on.”

She spoke gently, and placed a hand on his back and rested her cheek atop his head. She brought up her other hand and placed it on his cheek.

“Remus, pull yourself together! I’m fine! There’s nothing to worry about! I’ve got plenty of time for Madam Pomfrey and the Healers to fix me,” she assured him gently. Her voice never rose above a whisper throughout the entire conversation, and Remus finally raised his head. Tonks fell back into the pillows, looking as tired and worn as Remus felt. He suddenly felt guilty; she had just regained consciousness and talked herself back to sleep.

“I’ll leave, you need to rest,” he said quietly, standing up but realizing he couldn’t move away. Tonks still had his hand in a vice-like grip.

“Let nothing change between us Remus…. Promise,” she said desperately. Remus reached up a thumb and rubbed her hand with it.

“I promise,” he said quietly, and Tonks finally let him go. She was snoring softly by the time he left her curtained enclosure.

Chapter 7

The Gryffindor-Hufflepuff Quidditch match was expected to be the event of the year (though that didn’t say much, as the calendar year was almost over), causing much tension between the houses. They were still civil to one another of course; unlike the way the air would be if it were Gryffindor and Slytherin. There would be a bloodbath a day. The rain persisted throughout the week, and it was almost certain that the match would be played in the abysmal weather. Hogwarts never cancelled Quidditch.

Sure enough, that next Saturday, everyone gathered their thickest cloaks and strongest umbrellas to watch the match. She and Hermione and Ron sat together in the heights of the Gryffindor side of the crowd, huddled against the wind. One valiant soul, Seamus Finnegan, was still trying to walk around and sell Gryffindor merchandise for extra pocket gold. Even though it wasn’t likely to fit her twenty year old self, Tonks bought a maroon and gold striped t-shirt (maroon was the closest Seamus could get to scarlet, as he used one of Ron’s Christmas jumpers to make the first shirt and magically copied them. As a result, they all were also the same size) and a very warm scarf that she thought had more of a ‘copied Molly Weasley’ style to it. No wonder Seamus had been hanging around Ron’s little sister so often.

It was rather a stress to watch Quidditch in this weather. They couldn’t see the players through the rain, and they couldn’t hear the commentary over the wind. It was both boring and extremely stressful, seeing as Tonks couldn’t see Harry in the mess. Sirius Black could swoop down on a stolen broomstick, snatch Harry up, and no one would notice until after the match. Or, if they lost and the Gryffindors were discouraged, they may not think his absence unusual until after the rain stopped.

“That’s it, I can’t take it anymore,” Hermione said as Lee Jordan finally managed to roar loudly enough to say the Gryffindors had called a time-out. The young Gryffindor scampered out of the stands, her black umbrella flapping in the wind, occasionally hitting a classmate in the face. Tonks turned to Ron, almost wishing her hair was long just to keep the wind from getting to her frozen neck. Hence, the new scarf.

“Where is she going?” Tonks shouted over the wind. Ron blinked at her and shrugged, shouting ‘I don’t know,’ but Tonks didn’t hear over the roaring wind. They both leaned heavily over the edge of the stands and looked directly down, where the Gryffindor Quidditch team had shown up in the form of a reddish-gray blob. Tonks allowed her eyes to roam again after seeing Oliver Wood pump his fist triumphantly into the air; Hermione’s doing, no doubt.

She thought she saw a dark shape moving at the gates to the castle, but it was impossible to tell in the darkness of the day. She tuned back in to the game, where she finally found out the score when the wind died for a moment. She nearly fell out of the stands as Cedric, a boy she had known in the year they had been schooled together in Hufflepuff, barely missed being brained by a Bludger. She was embarrassed by Ron when she clutched at her hair and screamed “DIGGORY, DUCK!” and he took her advice. He came back up from his brief dive, windswept and soaked but still grinning at her in thanks nonetheless. For a moment she thought he may have recognized her, but then the moment was over.

“What was that about? Diggory’s on the other team, he’s supposed to get hit by the Bludgers!” Ron roared angrily. Obviously, he didn’t think Quidditch injuries counted as anything real. Tonks bit her lip, trying to figure out how to explain her sudden protectiveness for a strange upperclassman in another house.

“Vell…vell…I am foreign! I see boy about to be hurt, I yell!” she quickly explained, though the wind had picked up already, preventing Ron from hearing. They attempted to continue their discussion, but there was a great roar from the crowd and they turned. Harry and Cedric had both seen the Snitch, and were racing after it. Harry was in the lead; Harry was in the lead! They were going to win! Tonks leaped to her feet and started cheering even more loudly than Ron, screaming for Harry to Go, Go, Gryffindor and all the rest.

And then, time stopped as Dementors swarmed across the stadium. Tonks knew that people were probably screaming by the look of their wide open mouths, but she couldn’t hear it. She felt all breath leave her body to be replaced by cold.

“Lily and James, Sirius! How could you do such a thing!?”

“SHUT UP! LIAR! SHUT THE HELL UP! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE!? DO YOU!?”

“Sirius, how could you? How could you!?”

A roar of mingled rage and grief, and many screams.

“Dora, move!”

“DADDY! MUM!”

Silence stretching on, the last moments of thirteen peoples’ lives, Tonks’s crying as her torn shoulder throbbed painfully against the cold pavement.

Footsteps. Ragged, high-pitched breathing.

“D-…Daddy?”

A great intake of breath as another man screamed “NO! LEAVE HER ALONE!”

A horrible, stretching silence only occupied by the ragged breathing. Then…

“Obliviate.”

Tonks came back to herself just in time to see Harry caught by Dumbledore’s spell. Cedric was hovering nearby, looking ashamed of the fluttering Snitch clutched in his hand. The Quidditch teams had landed roughly in the mud, boots actually being tugged off their feet from getting stuck in the muck. The ‘Puffs gathered around Cedric as he determinedly flew toward Madam Hooch, while the Gryffindors swarmed around Harry’s fallen form. Tonks and Ron pushed their way out of the stand and onto the pitch.

“Get back, everyone please get back!” Percy Wesley shouted over the howling winds, taking initiative as Head Boy. “Give the Headmaster some room, please!”

As Dumbledore made his way through the crowd of Gryffindors, Tonks felt incredibly guilty. She should have been watching Harry, not having Dementor-induced flashbacks and watching Quidditch. “Professor!” she called out. He met her apologetic eyes and nodded. She was, apparently, forgiven. She and Ron met Hermione, who looked on the verge of both crying hysterically and fainting, and they followed Dumbledore up to the Hospital Wing with Harry floating along, looking quite lifeless. Even though she had been given a reprieve, Tonks still felt agonizingly guilty. If something happened to Harry, she would never forgive herself. Not to mention she would be fired.

It was another hour and a half before Harry woke up. The team, Tonks, Ron, and Hermione never left the Hospital Wing. Hermione sat by his head with very red eyes. An hour into his Infirmary stay Professor Flitwick came up carrying a canvas bag, filled to the brim with the remnants of his broomstick. Tonks was filled with remorse for the boy; she knew that if Charlie or Bill had ever lost their brooms they would be devastated.

“It was terrible, mate.”

“We thought you’d died,” Hermione whispered weakly. Harry reached over and squeezed her hand subtly. Ron’s face turned red for a second, but Harry’s near-death seemed to be more important than his jealousy.

“What happened?” he asked quietly.

“Harry fell off his broom!” Tonks said obviously. Ron rolled his eyes.

“I knew that, I mean what happened to make him fall off!” he said loudly.

“You all keep quiet! Mister Potter needs to recuperate!”

“Ron, didn’t you see the Dementors?” Hermione asked gently, looking to Tonks for reaffirmation.

“They were everywhere. It was scary,” she agreed. Harry looked distinctly angry with himself.

“Can’t believe I let it happen again,” he muttered. He then raised his voice and looked around at the team. “So who won the match?” Everyone exchanged a guilty look.

“No one blames you Harry,” said Hermione hurriedly. He looked around.

“We didn’t…” he gulped, “…lose, did we?”

“Cedric didn’t know you’d fallen until after he’d caught the Snitch,” Angelina Johnson (she had been really nice as a first year, Tonks recalled) informed Harry. “He tried to call it off, but you know as well as I that there are no rematches in Quidditch.”

“Yeah, of course,” Harry muttered darkly. “Nice of Diggory to try, though.”

“Yeah, really nice of him,” Fred said sarcastically.

“We should send him a fruit basket,” George added with a roll of his eyes.

“Where’s Wood?” Harry interrupted.

“We reckon he’s trying to drown himself in the showers,” Katie Bell said sympathetically. Harry sighed and stared down at his hands after pulling the one free of Hermione’s grip.

“Did someone at least fetch my broom?” he asked hopefully. Everyone suddenly avoided eye-contact with him. If no one was going to answer him, then Tonks took it upon herself.

“Harry…” she said slowly. Harry recognized her tone almost instantaneously. “…your broom was blown into the Whomping Willow!” Harry looked absolutely horrified.

“Well…is it…where is it…is it okay?” he asked shakily. Tonks thought he might cry for a moment.

“Well, you know the Whomping Willow, Harry,” Ron said slowly, lifting up the bag to give to Harry. “It doesn’t really like to be hit.”



After seeing Harry’s reaction to losing his broom, Tonks knew she had to do something about her Dementor problem. The only thing she could think of to do was ask Remus for help. He seemed to be an expert on all things defensive. On Wednesday evening, when she knew Remus was back on his feet from Saturday’s full moon, she made her way to his office. He hadn’t been looking at her since their little escapade in his office. Just being near his office, Tonks started to feel herself heat up. She had accepted the fact that she had strong feelings for Remus days ago.

“Remus?” she called out carefully, knocking on his office door as her twenty year old self. He came out of his chambers, looking a little pale, but otherwise fine.

“Nymphadora,” he said simply, ignoring Tonks’s glare at her first name. “Is everything alright?”

“No, no, everything’s fine,” Tonks quickly assured him. “Er…you heard about Harry’s broom, I expect?”

“No, I actually didn’t. What happened?” asked Remus with some concern.

“Oh, he fell off during the last Quidditch match, and his broom was blown into the Whomping Willow,” Tonks said nonchalantly.

“Poor kid,” Remus said with a sympathetic shake of the head. Tonks found herself staring at how attractive he looked. “I remember when James lost his broom to the Giant Squid in fourth year. It was quite funny, actually. Peter had dared James to—”

Before he could finish his sentence, Tonks had grabbed him by the sides of his head and pulled him in for a kiss. Her hair turned pink and purple as Remus wrapped his arms reflexively around her. She lifted her legs up and wrapped them around his waist, and he actually started carrying her to his room!

“I really, really want you right now,” she moaned into his mouth, forgetting why she’d come in the first place. The moment she’d seen him, her brain just melted and turned to jelly. Why was Remus the only person in the world who had had this effect on her? Not even Charlie, the first boy she told he loved, had ever made her feel like this.

“Mmmhmm,” was all Remus was able to say through their heated snog. He accidentally stumbled and quickly put Tonks’s back against the wall to keep her up. They started chuckling weakly.

“I thought I was the—Mmm, that’s nice—I thought I was the clumsy one,” Tonks giggled.

“Hey, I’ve just been through the full moon,” Remus said between kisses to Tonks’s face and neck. “I’m weak—and frail—and all the rest—of that pathetic—sympathy-inducing—s**t…” Tonks lost interest in talking and started unbuttoning Remus’s shirt when one of the most unwelcome sounds met their ears.

“Professor Lupin, I was wondering if…oh…er…never mind!” Tonks and Remus broke away from one another so quickly that Tonks fell to the floor.

“Harry, wait a minute!” Remus called, trying to straighten his hair and button his shirt again before Harry could flee from the office’s attached classroom. Tonks leaned against the wall with one hand covering her mouth in both mortification and also a bold attempt not to laugh hysterically. “You’re not helping!” he snapped impatiently.

Harry was just grabbing the doorknob when Remus grasped his shoulder. “I’m sorry Professor, I’ll come back later, I should have knocked, I’m sorry…” Harry said quickly, his voice about four decibels higher than normal.

“Harry, it’s alright, I should be the one apologizing,” said Remus hastily. “Really, I shouldn’t have had my…friend…in my office during school hours. O-or at all! I mean, it was…um…yeah…is everything okay, Harry?” Harry seemed to actually be comforted by Remus’s bright red face and relaxed slightly.

“Well…er…I was just sort of wondering if…well…there was a Quidditch match last week, you know…”

“Yes, I heard about your broomstick, I’m sorry about that,” Remus said gently.

“It’s okay, Professor…it’s just the Dementors that I’ve got a problem with,” Harry said bitterly. “Every time one gets near me, I…”

“Yes?”

“I…I hear my mum…being killed by Voldemort…” Remus fought a gasp of sympathy and personal pain.

“I know where you’re coming from, kid; those Dementors really do make you feel like shi—”

“Yes Nymphadora, thank you,” Remus said impatiently. “Could you please stay in my office for now? Thank you.” Tonks snorted behind her hand and ducked back into the office. “Sorry Harry, she can be a bit overzealous when it comes to making friends.”

“It’s okay,” Harry said quickly. “I was just wondering if…maybe…you could help me learn how to fight off the Dementors.” Remus raised his eyebrows at him.

“Harry, I don’t pretend to be an expert at fighting Dementors…”

“I know sir; I just thought that since you got rid of the Dementor on the train…”

“Harry, that was one Dementor, and the spell used to ward them off his highly complex for your age,” Remus said firmly. Then he looked into Harry’s—Lily’s—pleading eyes, remembered looking into those same eyes when babysitting the sweet eleven-month old boy who didn’t want to take a bath, and knew he couldn’t say no. “Alright Harry, I’ll do what I can to help, but it will have to wait until after the holidays, alright?”

“Yes, thank you Professor, really,” Harry said with a grateful grin.

“It won’t be easy Harry,” Remus warned him.

“I know, I’ll do my best,” reassured Harry. Remus allowed himself to smile then.

“Alright then. I’ll let you know when and where to meet me as soon as the holidays are over.”

“Yes sir. See you later.”

“Goodbye Harry.”

“Oh, Professor, have you seen Dora? She said she was going to the library, but that was a while ago…”

“I think I saw her talking to Professor McGonagall, Harry,” Remus said with a nod, as casually as if he had actually seen Tonks talking to his old Professor. He excelled at lying, surprisingly enough.

“Alright, thanks,” Harry said before leaving.

The moment Harry was out of earshot he broke into a run until he got to the Common Room. “Ron, Hermione, you will never guess what I just walked in on Professor Lupin doing…”