Dear Diary,
I don't know why I feel like I should go back. I have no business at that place anymore, after all. I know Jaden told me that it was all right and things happen that are beyond everyone's control, but that still doesn't change the fact that I feel like I failed Artisan somehow.
I try not to think of him these days because it brings me down so badly. I'd like to take comfort in the fact that he's with his parents again, but the added knowledge that they've dragged him back to a dying world and that he's likely going to die along with it is so depressing that I can't dwell on it for too long or I'll start crying.
Like now. s**t.
I don't know what I did wrong that made his parents decide I wasn't good enough to be his guardian after all, but....
I promised myself that I was done with that. I even said no when Jaden offered me a new relic, so why the hell did I wake up this morning with an overwhelming urge to go back there? It would only be awkward. Jaden would want to know why I haven't been by to see him and I would bullshit up some excuse about life and work, even though we'd both know I'd been avoiding him.
Its hard parting ways with someone in a place as small as Gaia...because you inevitably run into them at some point and its like running into an old ex boyfriend from high school you hoped never to see again. There's a bunch of hming and hawing until you eventually drift your separate ways feeling utterly stupid.
I don't know...maybe I SHOULD stop by for a minute. Jaden was nothing but nice to me all of the times I met with him and it probably looks really damn immature of me to go into hiding and never speak to him again just because the adoption didn't go the way we'd planned...
Its not like it'd kill me or anything.
--Karma
I don't know why I feel like I should go back. I have no business at that place anymore, after all. I know Jaden told me that it was all right and things happen that are beyond everyone's control, but that still doesn't change the fact that I feel like I failed Artisan somehow.
I try not to think of him these days because it brings me down so badly. I'd like to take comfort in the fact that he's with his parents again, but the added knowledge that they've dragged him back to a dying world and that he's likely going to die along with it is so depressing that I can't dwell on it for too long or I'll start crying.
Like now. s**t.
I don't know what I did wrong that made his parents decide I wasn't good enough to be his guardian after all, but....
I promised myself that I was done with that. I even said no when Jaden offered me a new relic, so why the hell did I wake up this morning with an overwhelming urge to go back there? It would only be awkward. Jaden would want to know why I haven't been by to see him and I would bullshit up some excuse about life and work, even though we'd both know I'd been avoiding him.
Its hard parting ways with someone in a place as small as Gaia...because you inevitably run into them at some point and its like running into an old ex boyfriend from high school you hoped never to see again. There's a bunch of hming and hawing until you eventually drift your separate ways feeling utterly stupid.
I don't know...maybe I SHOULD stop by for a minute. Jaden was nothing but nice to me all of the times I met with him and it probably looks really damn immature of me to go into hiding and never speak to him again just because the adoption didn't go the way we'd planned...
Its not like it'd kill me or anything.
--Karma
