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LostCure

PostPosted: Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:34 pm


AAAAAIt seems Joules couldn't find a single thing. Plan D is ruined. And Plan C will never work. Why must he not even give me one small chance. Just a tiny one. I haven't been following on him as much as I would like. Really I haven't. I swear I didn't follow him to the mall the other day or been staying up late to walk by his house. Never. Well- maybe I did, but I needed to! I swear it! If I haven't had done it, someone else would have done it.

AAAAAI looked down from my bed to find Worthless pulling out my treasures. I glared at him as he did his work. What was the little freak thinking. I guess I should have thought I was crazy when he first moved, but- the fact is it seemed normal. Lots of fiction has this kind of stuff happening. Dolls coming to life and whatnot.

AAAAA"Worthless- what have I told you before?" I only got a blank look in return. Not even a shiver. Little doll has been getting brave it seems.

AAAAA"Get the ******** back under the bed. What would I say if mother or father saw you moving? 'Oh, hi parents! How was work? What? Why is the doll moving? Well, I don't know. But I made him, so don't fret.' Yeah- that'll go over fantastic." As he went back under the bed I grabbed the bag he was dragging out. Inside was random crap Mitch had thrown out. Like his toys from childhood and cloths that are way too small for him. Even back then he smelled good. But- this bag did hold one thing. A picture of him and some girl when they were young. At first, I thought it was a sister who died or something or some cousin who doesn't come around anymore. This question about this girl was the beginning of me stalking Mitch. I just wanted to find out about this girl. It just so happened I developed a crush on this boy called Mitch.

AAAAA"Lina! I hope you're ready!" Mother seemed impatient. Something about some family member I don't remember going under the knife. I guess I should have looked at the letter she got. It could have been a funeral for all I know. This problem with Mitch has gotten me behind on my surveillance of my home life.

AAAAA"Yes, Mother." I got up. I was going to leave with another word, but I looked down at the bed. I didn't want Worthless to throw away my collection. That took too many hours of my night to just throw away. "Worthless, I better not notice anything out of place or missing." That made me feel better. I left him there to his own company.

AAAAALina- is never happy. At least when I am around. Joules told me so- well he didn't tell me. He babbles a lot around me. Maybe it because I can't tell anybody. I can't write or read. I just listen and obey. Is that even life? I need life to help my Goddess. It doesn't have to be a long one. Just enough to make her smile- around me. Like she did that one day with the painful fire.

AAAAABut- what is life. Animals have life. They have thought. I have that, otherwise I wouldn't be thinking about life. They feel just like I fell. Emotions are not foreign to them or to me. I'm not sure about this thing called a soul. Maybe one doesn't need it? No, they must have one. Soul is just another word for a heart. A beating inside. I don't have one. I hear nor feel nothing inside my chest. I guess that is what missing inside.

AAAAAA heart. No wonder I'm worthless. Machines need no heart since their job requires none. But- what I was made for, a heart is needed. Emotions must be absorbed. A creature that is heartless may feel emotions, but can they absorb them? No- they can never do that. It makes sense. A heart is needed to absorb the feeling a person does not wish to feel. I need a heart to absorb her feeling. Even if it's weak and small, it can help her. But- how can I get one? My goddess can't even hear my prays let alone answer them. I can't kill someone for theirs. My hands can barely grasp that bag. I doubt I can hold a knife or poison someone. I have no money to but one. Maybe I can make one. No- that won't do. My emotions are basic compare to other people. I can't do anything right. I can't even cry or hug someone. Not with this wet body. Not with my fake eyes. A failed attempt at life.
PostPosted: Mon Mar 31, 2008 9:33 pm


AAAAAI don't know why, but I changed- again. Not only do I look human, but I feel a small beat inside of me-where a heart would be. Maybe now I can make her smile. But what scares most ,besides Lina's wrath, is the fact I grew. I don't know what triggers my growths. Nothing really mind changing happens before them. Nothing besides... No! It can't be that! I'll refuse it! But- it is that. Of course. It has to be the time when I really do live up to my name. Depressing- almost.

AAAAA"Hey, Worthless, do you mind if-" Lina stopped whatever she was going to say to just stare at me. I hope she doesn't yelling or throwing things. That is never any fun.

AAAAAMaybe I have a voice now. "Hello?" Hmmmm. Hello sounded decent.

AAAAA"What the ******** happen?" Is that all she could ask? The one question I will never answer, even to her.

AAAAA"I'm not sure myself. Staying under the bed is no longer an option for me." I already knew what she was going to ask before she saw me like this.

AAAAA"Then the closet will do." She walked up to me where I was sitting on the bed. She motioned for me to go to my new home. Maybe I should tell her the dark scares me. That shoe box didn't help me.

AAAAA"But-"

AAAAA"But what?"

AAAAA"The dark scares me."

AAAAA"What?"

AAAAA"The dark scares me." Did she really needed me to say it, again?

AAAAA"I know that. But dolls shouldn't feel emotions. You're not human.Not one bit." She can always say just mean things.

AAAAA"But I do feel. Can't I just sleep with you?" And hug you maybe? I no longer feel damp.

AAAAA"I no longer sleep with dolls. I had them put away in box up in the attic. Would you like to go up there?" Strangely enough that made me smile. She did sleep with dolls. I wonder if she named one Mitch.

AAAAA"But what about the dark?"

AAAAA"Sleep on the floor. My parents don't bother me at night, but during the day- just walk around. I mean make sure no one sees you." She corrected herself when she saw my smiling face.

AAAAA"So- what do I do now?" I scooted over so she could sit. She sat. She looked at the door and mumbled. Someone was coming.

AAAAAShe looked back at me and sighed. "Well, I guess Joules gets to see you too. Try not to talk to him. It'll just confuse him."

AAAAAJoules. That remind me. Does Lina know Mitch and him are like brothers? Sure, they are having a little spat, but they are still close. Well, whatever. I doubt that is really important. What bothers me is the fact Joules like Lina. She could do better then some cross dresser. I glared at Joules as he came in. He didn't even notice me in his happiness. Wonder what he pulled off to be so happy. Or maybe he found something to earn him a date with Lina or some random piece of cloth she no longer wears.

LostCure


LostCure

PostPosted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:56 pm


AAAAA"Lina! Guess what!" Joules was once again acting like the girl. I don't know how his mother or father handle him.

AAAAA"Did you make an appointment for a sex change?" He always claimed he loved being a boy- that just happens to enjoy dressing up in pretty cloths. Lies. Utter lies.

AAAAA"Now that is just cruel. Tomorrow we get to have a sleepover." His smiled almost made me gag. A sleepover? He actually convinced mother into that!?

AAAAA"NO!" Worthless got up trying to push Joules out. I would have been relieved, if Joules had known about Worthless being able to talk now. Hell, he even looked human now. But- what bothers me is what made Worthless say no to Joules. Did he knew what I wanted to say? Na.

AAAAA"Lina- who's the kid? And why are his eyes funny?" Joules can be so- stupid sometimes. Not many people have different color eyes. Honestly- do people have differasnt color eyes. I need to make a note to look this up.

AAAAA"You helped me make him. I'm shocked you don't know." Didn't I tell Worthless not to talk. And what does he do? He talk. Idiot.

AAAAAJoules blinked. Worthless frowned as he looked at him. Joules looked at me. "Wothless- grew- again?" During that whole time he was only able to ask that? Not- how he grew or where should he hide him or does he eat. Wait- does he?

AAAAA"And let's hope he doesn't grow any more. He might just have to live with you. We both know your mother will believe anything you say." Yes- she would. Lately, I've been gathering more information on my new partner. Joules is not a friend.

AAAAA"Ummmm- sure." Joules looked back at the doll. "Well, anyways- I think I'll just go back home for now." He actually looked frightened about something. Worthless seemed he is good for once. He causes awkward moments.

AAAAA"You can stay with me tonight Worthless. I'll be going to sleep late, but you- are welcome to do what you want- for now." I left the room to him as I went to go plan a way to get out of the 'sleepover'. I might have to go a date with him. A real date. Oh God. He took all of my good clothes.
PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2008 4:32 pm


AAAAAI'm very glad to say I convinced my- friend to not have a sleepover. Instead he agreed to go out on a real date. I don't know where we're going or what I should wear. Joules said he'll take care of everything. Worthless was allowed to come only because technically he isn't human. That and because Worthless was throwing a fit. In his own weird way. I mean- it's not like other's way of trowing a tantrum. He was already moody, but he got even worse- if that was possible. And he wouldn't shut up! He never talked so much in the past couple of days until now.

AAAAA"Lina, what are you eating, now?" Worthless stared at wonder as I ate noodles. Lately, he has been interested in what I ate. Freak.

AAAAA"Noodles. Would you like some?" I put a serving of noodles in front of his mouth knowing what he would say to that.

AAAAA"No. Thank you for asking." I don't know where he gets his good manners from.

AAAAAAs I kept eating, my doll just watched waiting for me to be done. Strangely enough- my parent weren't even fazed by him. It was if they couldn't see him. Most adults couldn't, now that I think about it. Hopefully, he wouldn't be growing anytime soon.

AAAAA"Lina, what does hunger feel like? I looked it up like you said, but I still don't understand." He looked at me expecting an answer.

AAAAA"And why must you know? You should be happy you don't feel hunger." Why does he want to know that? What a boring thing to ask. Not even something deep- like emotions or something like that.

AAAAA"I-I just want to know." He looked down sorry he even mentioned it.

AAAAA"Most of the time it's a- pain in the stomach. It gets worse over time. But after awhile- it fades- and then comes back even worse. If one doesn't eat soon one can die, but that takes about two weeks at most."

AAAAAWorthless sat there taking in the information. He frowned. "Kind of like thirst, but you last longer."

AAAAAI smiled. At least he learned fast. "Yep. Now, leave me alone. My noodles are getting cold thanks to you."

LostCure


LostCure

PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 1:42 pm


AAAAA"Lina- How long have I been like this?" It has been two weeks three days twenty hours and about ten minutes. I just wanted to know if she knew.

AAAAA"About two weeks. Why?" She was writing another letter to her love. School has been out so me and her had been able to hang out. By stalking Mitch. Right now he was at some friends house.

AAAAA"Just wondering. You never told me about what Joules did to you when I left." For that I got the letter thrown at me.

AAAAA"Put this in the mailbox!" She clearly didn't want to tell me. But- I did what she wanted. "I'll be leaving soon, so- don't do anything stupid!"

AAAAAI believe Joules needed her help for something. I could honestly care less at this point. There was no way I trusted Joules with my goddess, but I did trust her with him. So- it was fine. As long as she came back pissed off at him. Then everything was fine.

AAAAA"And don't forget to put the flag up!" She was walking out the door with a bag. So- another date, maybe?

AAAAA"Yes, of course." I put the little flag up. At times- I feel useless.


AAAAALater, when her parents got home from work, I was cooking the only dish my goddess showed me. Grilled cheese. I may not be able to eat it, but I can perfect me cooking skills. That's something I can do. But- the thing that bothers me is- her parents never seem to know any better. It's as if- I don't exist in their eyes. Maybe so. I could care less about them.

AAAAA"Honey, are you making something?" the man asked his wife.

AAAAA"No, I thought you were making something!" The woman yelled from their bedroom.

AAAAAI let them talked as I finished it. I put it on a plate and left it. The man would find it and eat it. He's lucky I have no reason to kill him. Honestly. Why would someone just eat food that had been laying around? It's a good thing I don't feel this feeling called hunger. It makes people do stupid things.
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:36 pm


AAAAA"Worthless? Where is Lina?" It was that boy again. Ugh.

AAAAA"I thought she was with you. Don't tell me she had a date and ditched you." She can be sly at times. Maybe it has to do with that habit of hers.

AAAAA"No, but she did tell me to come over." He looked dumb just standing there. That just meant Lina wanted someone to make sure I didn't do anything. Why she would leave this girly boy to watch doesn't make sense.

AAAAA"Do you want to come inside or do you want to go some- place else?" I frowned not liking that sentence at all. It sounded like I was hitting on him or something. Ewwww. Even so, I really didn't want to stay here. It's boring staying in the same place day after day. The only other place I go to at all is the store to pick up things my goddess needs.

AAAAA"Well, I rather just go back home, since Lina isn't here and all. There's no point staying here." Stupid boy. Why didn't he understand her logic. I'm just a stupid doll, but I understand her mind.

AAAAA"She wants you to watch me. Who knows what I'll do when left alone." Now, I'm mad. He made me sound like a smart a**.

AAAAA"Why? You can take care of yourself." He smiled as if pleased with his simple logic. "I mean you're not asking as much questions lately."

AAAAA"Books and the internet took care of that. Why bother people with them?" It's not like I deserve it. I should be happy with this life. I have no afterlife. I require a soul for something like that.

AAAAA"You seem rather touchy. Well, You can come with me. Mitch was coming over with his mother. My mom and her are planing something." He laughed at my expression. "Don't give me that look. It's not like I can tell you. Maybe you'll find out if you come along. I'll just say I got stuck with babysitting duties."

AAAAA"From what? A cousin?" We look nothing a like. My eyes are freaky enough.

AAAAA"Sure. Why not? You can be my seond cousin." He smiled as he walked off. He waited for me to catch up. What a stupid boy. His plans are stupid. His cloths are stupid. Everything about him is stupid. He's too kind for his own good.

LostCure

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