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 Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2008 11:47 pm
**Click the image to return to the main thread!** ~Birth of Spencer~ ..........There is nothing more precious than a child's laugh... And there is nothing more tragic than the lack of one. That stillness, that terrible silence, hangs in the air acidicly. It slowly, slowly eats away at everyone. Piece by piece, everyone start to fall apart... No one understands, no one knows that the pain can't stop. No one realizes how impossible it to move on. Maybe, somewhere in those black button eyes, if you brush aside that black hair framed with blue, you'd see.... Someone who knows just how you feel...Personal Information about Spencer:Birthdate: January 17th, 2008 Core Emotion: Depression Gender: Male Hair color: Blue with four strands of black Eye color: A matte, lifeless black Date of first growth: February 23rd
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 9:32 am
Sitting in the corner all alone was I, wiping my eyes...Hoping they'd dry.
It all started on the day when Stephen died...
They said he stood in the street and he tried to hide...
The face of upset and depression from my family and I so we would not know he intended to commit suicide...
I remember him walking me to the school bus that day...
As he smiled faintly and told me that dad was going to stay...
And that things would get better and be okay...
He kissed me on the forehead and he walked away...
Why...Why couldn't he stay with us that beautiful month of may?
I remember coming home from school and seeing my dad staring up at the sky...
He was holding up my mama's golden cross up high...
I stood there with him and I asked him why...
He looked at me and began to cry...
He said to me that Stephen had been run over by a car...
Trying to find out how to get to mama's star...
And now he's gone very far...
To the place where angels sing and light and love lasts forever...
And he can't come back no matter how clever...
Because he's gone to stay with mama and Trevor...
This brings me here to the year two thousand and eight, where now I am a full grown teenager growing at a fast rate. I sit in my corner every day and I wipe my eyes and hope they dry. I sit in my corner and I cry, cry, cry. I say why, why did he have to die? He was the only thing close to me besides my sister and my dad, I have had so many deaths and failures it makes you sad. Now the only thing close to me is that of a doll I stitched and made very small. I call him Spencer the depressed for his face speaks nothing but depression tall. His hair is dark blue yarn but with four black strands in front of his face. I gave him tear drops under his two black eyes, I could have made him a girl but I could find any lace. I gave him a half a heart on a rusty metal chain, I really hope that the rain won't stain him when I bring him outside to show. Oh how I love him so, I usually don't take him to my corner but today was different. I sat down in the corner and I began to cry, brushing the four black hairs away from his eyes and I stared into them. Then I held him close as I cried harder, and found myself looking at the two dark eyes once again.
"Oh Spencer..." I sobbed. "You are the only one who has been here with me everyday and listened to me whine and cry for someone...You are my only friend!" I hugged him tightly for it was true, I didn't have any friends...Spencer was my only true friend.Sitting all alone in the corner am I, hugging my doll as I cry.
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Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 10:14 am
Spencer sat silently in the corner of the room where he was just sitting with Creea, she had left him to go eat dinner with her family and he was left to his own thoughts once again. Now he couldn't really move or talk, but this little doll could have tiny half made thoughts. Strange? Yes, this was strange but he was thinking away in that little corner.
"Creea...Sad...Much...Spencer...Sad...Too..." Spencer thought to himself, it was a wonder how he could think this. It was comprehendable, his best friend was sad and that made him sad...But he didn't know why. He sat there for a few more minutes in complete disturbing silence, suddenly rushed footsteps came up from outside to door.
The sound of Creea's crying came from the hall, and as she opened the door she fell to her knees in a fit of either bipolar rage or extreme depression. She kicked the door closed and she glanced up at Spencer who just returned the exact same emotion. She became agitated, which soon became anger and then it began firey rage. She stood up with tears still in her eyes and she picked up Spencer and threw him against the wall several times.
"Stop looking at me like that! You make me sad! You make me feel sick! I'm depressed because of you!" Creea shouted at Spencer, who could do nothing but let her hurt him. At the last throw she picked him up and took a few pins, she pierced one through each of his tear drops and then took one and stabbed it through the felt half heart he wore around his neck.
"That'll show you to make me depressed you lousy friend!" She jumped onto her bed and began to sob.
Spencer lay on the ground with no comply, what was he to do? He was just a doll that could think about stuff! Emotions ran through his mind like race cars at the race track. At first he was confused at Creea's reaction to him making her depressed, then he became a bit angry at her which quickly faded away after she stuck him with pins, then he suddenly felt a new kind of sad feeling come to him. It wasn't just sad when you feel upset for a while and it goes away, it wasn't the kind of sad where you can take a bubble bath and it washes away, and it wasn't the kind of sad where you can just talk about it and brush it away like it was nothing. No, it wasn't any of those sad feelings. He had never felt this before, it felt strong and heart churning. It had made him angry, confused and terribly sad at the same time. This new emotion even made him feel like crying himself! He knew he couldn't, he was just a doll...He wished he could tell Creea how he felt right now...He was sure she felt the same! Thoughts flashed through his mind...
"Creea...Depressed...Lots...Spencer...Feel...Same...Way..." He thought at one point. "Spencer...Depressed...Lots...Spencer...Want...Hug..." Finally, the name of the emotion came to him. He felt depressed! It felt a bit good to know what was the problem, but he couldn't shake the emotion off! So he lay there, thinking his thoughts. Wishing he could cry, and wishing for a hug.
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Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 2:40 pm
02/25/08- "Spencer helps"
Suddenly, as if every little bit of magic was squeezed out of a magician and poured onto Spencer...Spencer began to cry. Not only was he crying, he was breathing! Not only was he breathing, he was screeching! Even though this huge accomplishment was being made, Spencer didn't care. He just wanted to cry, and he wanted to make things better with Creea. He wanted to stand up and run to his best friend's bedside and be with her! He finally composed himself enough to stand up and dash to Creea crying his eyes out.
"CREEA! I DEPRESSED TOO!" He shouted at her, coughing loudly afterwards. "...Hug please?" He asked Creea sweetly.
Creea gasped and turned her head over towards the once tiny depressing doll who was now standing by her bed. Her eyes took a bit to fix upon Spencer, soon enough her eyes filled with tears yet again as she took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"...Eh...EH...EH?!" Was all that came out of her mouth, she began to pale slightly. "W-Who..Er I mean...What happened to you Spencer? You're alive! I don't understand! One second you're a doll that I made with my own bare hands, next you're the height equivalent of a toddler and crying like one too!" She shivered, then she began shaking. "I'm so confused! I just lost my dog but now god gives me a doll that lives!" She started shaking rapidly, keeping her eyes on Spencer.
Spencer then realized he was not going to get his hug anytime soon. His mood had shifted, now he was terribly confused and worried about Creea. She was shivering all over, was she cold? It wasn't cold in here...Not at least to him! He jumped on the bed and put his cloth hand over Creea's forehead, he jumped backwards after just a few seconds. She was burning up, she was basically so hot she could possibly defeat the sun's own heat! He didn't know what to do, now his mood shifted to panic. He didn't know why he was experiencing all of these emotions at this one time but he did know that Creea needed attention and FAST!
Now if there was one word Spencer knew Creea used to get people's attention if she really needed it...It was the word help. He knew it had to be shouted but he didn't know what it meant. Still, he glanced to the shaking Creea and opened his mouth really wide, taking the deepest breath he could.
"HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLP!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, then taking another glance at Creea with panicked eyes.
Creea's eyes were barely open but just enough so she could still see Spencer. Raising a shaky hand she pointed to the closet.
"G-go hide..B-Before They...S-see y-you" She managed to whsiper before closing her eyes and shaking uncontrollably.
Spencer's eyes widened sharply, he quickly nodded still not really understanding why he should hide but he rushed to the open closet and hid behind all of Creea's shoes. Watching closely as the door to Creea's room swung open and her father rushed in, glancing around frantically before scooping Creea up in his arms and darting out the door. Once Spencer was sure that they had gone he ran out of the closet and climbed up on Creea's bed, looking through the curtains to see if they were outside. Sure enough Creea's dad was lying Creea down in the backseat of his car, as soon as he closed the sliding door to the car he jumped into the driver's seat and sped off like a speeding bullet.
Spencer sighed as they left as he was now all alone in the house, he decided to sit on the bed and patiently wait for Creea to return.
He suddenly felt very worried and cold, he wondered if Creea would be alright. He tucked himself in under the covers of the bed and tried to fall asleep as a single tear streamed down his face.
Little did he know that Creea would be gone for quite a while...
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Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:55 pm
~ Todoller entry-02/26/08- Spencer meets "Grandpa" ~
Early the next morning just as the sun was rising over the tiny suburban home, Spencer was beginning to wake up from his sleep. He opened his eyes and yawned softly, glancing around the room he noticed that Creea was not sleeping beside him. He blinked as the worry and sadness he had felt the night before crept back into his heart. He became perplexed, why hadn't she come to her room to see him? Where was she? Was she even home yet and more importantly...Was she okay? He sat up in the bed and looked out the window, he saw that the car was back in the same spot as the night before. He tilted his head slightly, the car was here!
"She must be home!" He thought, beginning to smile. Quickly, he jumped off the bed and made a mad dash for the door. He stood on the tips of his feet to reach the door handle, he managed to turn it and open the door just enough so he could squeeze through. Once outside the room he looked around frantically for any sign of life, then upon listening he heard someone talking from down the stairs. Grinning he rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen, running right into the fridge.
"Ow!" He whimpered, tears welling up in his eyes. Once recovered his eyes darted around for Creea, No sign of his best friend here, but there was a voice he thought he reconized coming from around the corner. He jumped up and began running at top speed towards the voice.
"Creea! I missed you!" He shouted when turning the corner, only to bump into a strange new...Larger person. He streched his neck up all the way to see that this person was not Creea, in fact this person was a man! Again, he became terribly confused as his tear filled black eyes met with the man's suprised bright blue.
The man stared down at Spencer with wide eyes, he stepped back a pace almost looking in complete shock.
"So...She was telling the truth..." He uttered softly, bending down to Spencer's level as best he could. He looked Spencer over a bit, then fuzzing Spencer's hair.
"Well I'll be damned..." he muttered, trying his best to smile at Spencer. "You are alive Spencer..." He scooped Spencer up in his arms and hugged him.
Spencer blinked three times in a row, who was this man? Why was he hugging him? He didn't understand! Where was Creea? He wanted a hug from Creea! Not from some stranger! He began to kick around and wiggle.
"Let me go! Where's Creea? I want my best friend! Why isn't she here?"He screamed loudly.
The man tilted his head and chuckled, putting Spencer back down on the ground with a sigh.
"Creea's not here right now, she had to stay at the hospital for a little while" He replied, then trying his best not to frown. "She'll be back in a few days little one, you'll just have to stay here with old grandpa 'kay?" He patted Spencer's head. "Now, maybe later we can go visit her alright? Right now I have to go to work...You can stay here, Unless you'd like to come along?" He smiled at Spencer, hoping he'd like to come along.
Spencer's eyes widened, he wondered what a hospital was. More importanly he wondered why Creea was staying there for a few days! He stared at the man with a questioning look. "Grandpa?" He thought. Did this mean that this man was Creea's daddy? And does it mean that Creea is technically his mother? He shook those thoughts from his mind and quickly nodded at his 'grandpa.'
"Yes sir, I'd like to come to...Work with you..." He replied, he wondered what this thing called work was. He hoped it was at least a little fun.
The man grinned and picked Spencer up, walking over to the coat rack and putting on his coat.
"Okay Spencer, we're off to the animal hospital then!" He smiled cheerfully, walking out the door and over to the car.
"Hospital?" Spencer thought, a grin coming to his face. That's where Creea was! Maybe he'd get to see her there! His bad feeling drifted away for a little while as the man put him in the car and began driving off.
The entire ride Spencer hoped that Creea would have a hug ready for him when he arrived.
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Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 4:37 pm
03/02/08 to 04/13/08- Spencer's animal rescue!
Finally, after driving along on the road for a while Spencer and 'grandpa' arrived at a small building. Upon exiting the car Spencer heard a sound her hadn't heard before, it was loud and it sounded angry! He shivered at the sound and covered the place where his ears would be with his cloth hands.
"W-what's that G-grandpa?" Spencer yelped out, now accustomed to calling Creea's dad 'grandpa.' He shivered and clung to Creea's father, burying his face into the elder man's sleeve.
Creea's father only chuckled and patted Spencer's tangled yarn hair, grinning at how easily Spencer was frightened it reminded him of his own daughter at this age.
"It's only the dogs that are behind the fence over there, no need to be frightened." He told Spencer, then shifting him in his arms and moving foward towards the door of the building.
Spencer blinked, dogs? What are dogs? He stared at the fence as they walked by, feeling a strange sick feeling in his stomach. He leaned his head on his 'grandpa's' shoulder as they walked inside of the building. Upon entering, Spencer saw hundreds of black barred cages lined up in rows with these...Things locked inside of them which were squealing and screeching as the pair moved ahead. He clamped his hands over his ears again and began to scream himself.
"Grandpa! Make 'em be quiet! I don't like the noise!" He shouted as loud as he could over the many different deaffing sounds coming from the cages.
The older man only looked down at Spencer and shook his head a no before setting Spencer on the ground and digging through his pockets. Spencer watched his 'grandpa' intently, confused to why he was now down on the ground and to why he was digging through his pockets furiously. Tilting his head to one side the man finally took his hand out of his pocket and pulled out two things, a couple of keys on a ring and a lollipop. He put the keys in one hand and handed Spencer the lollipop with a smile.
"This is a lollipop, you're supposed to eat it okay?" He told him, fuzzing Spencer's hair and turning towards a door that had the words 'Employes only' written on it in bold red letters. Taking the keys from his other hand he unlocked the door and opened it, then reaching down and picking Spencer up once more they pair walked inside the room.
Spencer stared at the lollipop and shrugged his shoulders, popping it in his mouth he smiled at how the sugary treat tasted. He glanced around the new room that was much quieter than the other, which he liked very much. The room was tiny and not very colorful in the least, the only splash of color were the dark sea green tables scattered in the room. Spencer gazed up at Grandpa and tilted his head in question for he feared if he talked the lollipop would come out of his mouth.
Grandpa looked down at Spencer and sighed, obviously not having much time for this. He walked over to a chair and set Spencer down in it, then he smiled.
"This is where I work." He stated, bending down to Spencer's level. "I work with animals, you know like dogs and cats! I help them get better and sometimes I even save their lives...It's not a very easy job to do" He stood up and turned to the table in front of him. He took some papers off of the table and flipped through each of them slowly. At the last one he frowned, feeling a little sad.
"Well, the little puppy in cage number three has to be put to sleep today...I guess no one wanted the poor little fellow" He sighed deeply, shaking his head at his thoughts.
Spencer stared at his grandpa, blinking twice as he wondered why the puppy had to be put to sleep. Couldn't he go to sleep himself?
"Grandpa, why does the puppy have to be put to sleep? I thought they could go to sleep by themselves..." Spencer asked, not knowing where this converstaion would lead.
Grandpa's eyes widened as Spencer asked his question, nearly dropping the papers on the floor. Kneeling down to Spencer's level once more he took a deep breath.
"I guess you have the right to know Spencer...Put please, promise me no tears..." He muttered, watching as Spencer nodded slowly. "Okay then, see Spencer...When I say that the puppy has to be put to sleep...I really mean that the puppy has to die...We can't keep all the animals here forever, there's just too many...It's a really upsetting job that we have to do but it has to be done Spencer...It may sound mean and nasty but it has to be done..." Looking down at the floor Grandpa stood up and took the papers again, glancing at Spencer he tried to give him a smile. "I have to go to work now, I'll be back as soon as I can okay?" He turned around and walked back out the door they had come in.
Spencer's eyes were as wide as bullets, the puppy had to die just because there were too many others to take care of? That was really mean! He didn't even know what a puppy was or what it looked like but he knew it was wrong to kill something for any reason at all! He felt sick again, almost as if he would throw up at that moment. Tears welled up in his eyes but he tired his best to fight them off because he felt a brand new emotion coming through his body. It made him want to help, to act and save the puppy from certain death! He jumped out of the chair quickly, deciding that it was the right thing to do. He had to save that puppy and nothing is going to stand in his way! He bolted over to the door, which was open just a crack and looked through it to check if there was anyone gaurding the door. With no one in his sight he pushed the door open and ran out into the loud room once more.
Everywhere around him there were dogs and cats barking and hissing at him, some were just scratching at the bars just wanting to get out. Spencer was about to cover his ears when he remembered that he had a very important mission to accomplish! Glancing side to side rapidly he hooked a left turn towards the entrance of the building, looking at every cage for that single number that his grandpa had said. He was sure it was three, he knew it! He ran down the hall as fast as he could, passing thrity through twenty like a speeding bullet. Then he passed ten, he slowed down slightly as he passed six and finally he reached the right number, three. Peering into the cage he saw a small dalmation puppy lying in the corner of the cage, the puppy had raised it's head to look up at Spencer and it began to wag it's tail. The puppy got up and padded over to the cage door, raising it's paw and putting it through the cage bars it whined. Spencer tilted his head at the whine but quickly realized he had to let the puppy out of the cage as fast as possible because grandpa would be here to put it to sleep any minute!
He had to act fast, he scanned the cage for any sign of a latch or a lock which took only a minute to find. The latch was the kind you pull out and then open so it only took Spencer a bit to figure out, he pulled the latch to the right and opened the cage door. He grinned as the puppy lept out of the cage and barked happily, then it licked his face which made Spencer giggle.
Suddenly, Grandpa came running down the hallway with a worried look on his face. Coming to a halt he gave Spencer an displeased glare, which made Spencer frown.
"Spencer..." He began, shaking his head. "You're not supposed to do that..." He bent down to Spencer's level and looked him in the eyes.
"Do you like this puppy, Spencer?" He questioned, sighing a little.
Spencer hung his head feeling bad that his grandpa got mad at him for something he felt was right. Looking up at his grandpa he nodded at his question of the puppy.
Grandpa smiled softly at Spencer and then looked to the puppy who was chasing it's tail.
"Alright then Spencer, I guess we'll keep him then..." He muttered softly, keeping his soft smile on his face.
Spencer's eyes went wide, he said that they could keep the puppy! he grinned widely, this meant that the puppy wouldn't have to die! He had offically saved the puppy! He jumped into his grandpa's arms and hugged him tightly while the puppy bounced around them barking happily.
Oh Spencer could not wait to tell Creea that they have a new puppy! Come to think of it, he wondered how she was and more importantly where she was! He was still very worried about her, he still hopes that she would just get better and come home and see him! Hmmm, he'll just have to wait until she gets better. ~
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