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A week had passed since that scene on the staircase leading to the boys’ dorms, and since then, things had only gotten more euphoric for Remus Lupin.

After dinner, Remus told Lily goodnight – him and the boys were headed outside for an evening snowball fight, as it had just started getting cold enough for the flurries to pile up.

The marauders chortled and guffawed their way through the school, not caring whose attention they attracted. After rounding a corner, Remus thought, maybe we should’ve…

“Wee James Potty, Siri Blacksheep, and Loony Lupine Lupin!” Peeves exclaimed with a mad cackle. He was floating seven feet from the ground, writing crude messages on the stone wall with a piece of chalk.

Remus groaned. “Keep that to yourself,” he muttered menacingly, his chocolate eyes flashing yellow. “That’s not your secret to go babbling about all over the school.”

“Peevesie keeps no secrets,” the poltergeist retorted hotly, rubbing the chalk against the wall.

“C’mon, Peeves. You and us – we’re supposed to be on good terms,” Sirius pleaded.

“Yeah! Remember when we nicked Dungbombs from Filch’s office for you last year as a Christmas present?” James chimed in.

“Peeves doesn’t play favorites, either,” he replied, his tone becoming flat.

“Suit yourself, then. I’m not playing these kinds of games tonight,” Remus said once he regained his calm. “Waddiwasi!!”

The chalk immediately zoomed out of Peeves’s hand and up his nose. The poltergeist took off down the hallway, screeching and dropping bits of chalk as he went.

The four boys roared with laughter for a few moments, but sobered up when a particularly large bit fell and hit the head of a pale, burly Slytherin seventh-year – Rabastan Lestrange.

As he approached them, Remus felt Peter recoil and cower, and James gulped. Sirius made no move or noise whatsoever, despite the fact that Lestrange was three times larger than him.

“You there! The one who cast the spell!” He called, striding up to the quartet. “Lupin, is it?”

“Y-yes. I –”

“Don’t acknowledge me! You’re not good enough to lick my boots, half-breed!”

Sirius pulled out his wand. “And what exactly do you mean by that?”

“Oh, I know about your friend’s little problem,” Lestrange leered, showing a set of shark-like teeth. Remus stood his ground but said nothing. “Besides, you’re no better than he is, Black. A blood-traitor.”

Sirius flinched and raised his wand as Rabastan Lestrange found his inside his robes. “Rictum –”

“Mr. Lestrange! Sirius Black!” Exclaimed a voice – Professor McGonagall’s – from the classroom adjacent. “Dueling in the hallway? Put your wands away! Detentions and twenty points from your respective houses! I’d expect better behavior from upperclassmen like yourselves!”

***

“How d’you think he knew?” Peter squeaked once they got to their dormitories.

“Who? Peeves or Lestrange?” Remus grumbled.

“Peeves knows because the staff knows… it’s impossible to keep secrets from entities that float through walls,” James offered.

“I did hear… something… before I ran away this summer,” Sirius began. “Who was the one that bit you? Greybeard?”

“Greyback,” Remus corrected. “Fenrir Greyback.”

“That’s it. I heard my family discussing it… this ‘Dark Lord’ that’s on the up rise, he’s recruiting werewolves. Supposedly Greyback is high in his ranks…”

“Lestrange, he’s in Slytherin. The whole lot of them are in league with dark wizards,” James added, putting two-and-two together.

“Sirius,” Remus murmured. “When were you going to mention this piece of news,” he asked slowly, still taking in the information of a few moments ago.

“What, Moony?”

“What are you, thick? About the werewolves!”

“I forgot all about it, actually,” Sirius said sheepishly.

“You didn’t think it would be important for me to know that the guy who turned me into this monster is in charge of ranks of other werewolves itching to join a crazed dark wizard maniac?” Remus ranted.

“Look,” Sirius said sternly, pointing his finger. “Forgive me when I don’t immediately think of you when I hear the word ‘werewolf’. You’re just my friend, nothing more. Your condition doesn’t define you – at least not in my eyes.”

Remus said nothing as he watched Sirius lower his finger. A sense of pride filled him for a moment, only to be flooded seconds later with guilt. He sat no his bed and yanked the hangings. “G’night.”

Candles burned low in the common room, and Remus’s head hit the table with a ‘thunk’. He was exhausted, and the fact that ‘that time of the month’ was looming didn’t make things better.

“Moony, what’s wrong?” James asked. The noise caused by the table’s impact had awoken him with a start. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Do you know what day it is?” Remus mumbled into the wood.

“Yeah. Tomorrow’s… well, you know,” James replied. “But you’ve never looked this bad.”

“Thanks for that, Prongs,” Remus muttered dryly. “I’ve just got some things on my mind.”

“Things going okay with Lily?” Sirius asked, joining the conversation.

Remus groaned. Why Padfoot’s interest in Girls was so blatantly obvious would forever be a mystery to him. “Yes, but I’m thinking maybe it shouldn’t be.”

“Cryptic,” Sirius replied, putting a hand on Remus’s shoulder. “Now would you decipher for us, please?”

“I’m a – a – a YOU KNOW WHAT for godssake! I’m not any good for her!”

Sirius yelped, not expecting the outburst.

***

Twilight had descended quickly the next night and fled just as fast, leaving its wintry glow to darken into black. Remus had never seen a full moon with his own eyes, at least not since he was very young. Had he been able to see this one, he would’ve been rendered spellbound – it was large in the sky, and had an almost-blue tint to it. A beautiful sight, indeed.

Instead, the wolf consumed him, devoured him inside and out. The stag, the rat, and the dog were unable to help their friend tonight – the thin pale boy laid out of their reach on the dusty hardwood floor of the shack, gasping and crying for someone unknown to the three of them.

It felt as if the beast inside him was ripping his joints apart and crunching him in his powerful jowls. In actuality, it was the burning moonlight rearranging his limbs into the perfect creature: one of power, of stealth, and of success. The moon was a painter; Remus Lupin the canvas. Although, this was a lot more violent and painful than painting.

The last human thing on his lips was a name – a name that would forever haunt his thoughts: Lily.

Remus’s throat became strangled as the name was uttered, and fur began sprouting from his neck. That word, that last human word, transformed with him – once beautiful English into a lupine howl reverberating through the Shack and twisting serpentine-like out into the streets of Hogsmeade, infiltrating the nightmares of children and adults alike.

Sirius whimpered, feeling his friend’s pain. James stomped the floor nervously with his hoof, and Peter scuttled his fat rat-bottom to hide under the torn couch.

The wolf stood up, eyeing the two animals in sight. It seemed that Remus was lost inside it, trapped and unable to control his inner – now outer – demons. Perhaps he didn’t want to, either. Perhaps he just wanted to curl up inside his soul and let go in order to rationalize his doubts about Lily.

The wolf snarled and raised its tail, a sign of dominance. Sirius stepped forward; this had happened once before, but not since the very first moonlit jaunts.

‘Don’t do this, Remus’ the look in the shaggy black dog’s eyes seemed to say.

The wolf snapped its jaws menacingly, stepping forward as if to challenge the dog.

Sirius felt his ears flatten against his skull, and he emitted a warning growl…

The wolf took that as an acceptance to his challenge and was about to spring forward onto the opponent…

Sirius yipped; a frightened look came into his eyes that said ‘wait! Think this through!’

The yip brought Remus back into focus. The wolf blinked. Its yellow eyes faded into warm brown and confusion stepped in. What just happened?

***

Remus opened his eyes to hangings of gray fabric and a hushed mumbling. He sat up. It was morning.

Yanking the curtains open, he found a very faint-looking James, a weary Sirius, and a snoring Peter.

“Good morning?” James asked, having not expected to see Remus until afternoon at the earliest.

Remus rubbed his eyes but said nothing.

“Do you remember any of last night?” Sirius asked gravely.

“Bits,” Remus replied.

“You almost bit Padfoot’s head off,” Peter mumbled, coming out of his snooze.

“Not helping,” James said sharply, throwing Peter a glare.

“No… he’s right. Maybe you shouldn’t come with me anymore,” Remus interrupted dejectedly.

“Nonsense. It was just a slip up,” Sirius assured him. “You’re fine; I’m fine…”

“Sure would like to know what was behind it, though,” James said thoughtfully. “Any ideas, Moony?”

“No,” Remus lied.

Remus blinked. He wasn’t in a lake…

His eyes were brought back to focus as he sat there by the hearth, comforting the distraught Lily. He didn’t know what had just happened, but he somehow felt very miniscule in the thick of things. Had it been a vision? Well, there were no answers for him in the glowing crimson embers burning brightly beside him.

Remus felt very aware of his still damp body, and the fact that he was still clothed in naught but a bathrobe.

“Oh, Remus! You must think I’m being utterly foolish about all this nonsense!”

His brown eyes snapped back to reality for the second time and he said, “Erm. No, Lily. I can understand why you’re upset.”

“Are you sure that I’m not overreacting?” Lily earnestly looked up into his face, and he was reminded of his long (but brief, somehow) vision / fantasy / flashforward.

“Of course n –” But Remus was interrupted by a thundering noise on the staircase behind them.

“Moony,” a familiar voice called. “What are you doing up so late? Evans! Are you alright?”

At the sight of the bespectacled boy, Lily blew her nose, but shed no more tears. “Yes, James. I’m fine.”

“J-James? You called me ‘James’?” James whooped, donning a nervous grin. “So, you’re finally coming ‘round?”

“James, don’t give me that today!” Lily exclaimed shrilly, making him recoil slightly. “And stop pretending to court me; stop playing with my emotions. Stick to your fabulous Layla Burke.”

“Layla Burke? You think I’m… with Layla Burke?” James asked stunned. “Did you put that idea into her head, Moon?”

Remus confirmed his ‘no’ and shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m not going with Layla,” James explained. “I’m her telescope partner in Astronomy. Wherever you got that idea…. Anyway, c’mon! You know you’re the only one for me!”

Lily laughed. “Arrogant berk.”

All at once, Remus now felt out of place in this situation. He immediately stood up and nodded to James and Lily. “I guess there’s some things you two need to talk about. I’m going to bed.”

“Wait!” Lily exclaimed with a huff.

Remus turned to see her get up and begin to approach him. His heart quickened as the beautiful, smooth, pale skin of her face loomed, and his eyes were drawn to the sight of her lips. The vision began to once more float across his eyelids, and he thought, Perhaps there’s still hope.

“Thank you. For listening, I mean,” Lily said, punctuating her gratitude with a peck on the cheek and a brief embrace. “I truly appreciate it. Go get some sleep, hmmm?”

Remus nodded his reply and let his feet carry him up the stairs, not once looking back at James and Lily, or what could have been. Even though it had never happened, it had ended badly – perhaps like any relationship he could enter into. And, despite that fact, Remus almost longed to have it back.

But, No! He exclaimed to himself. It was never meant to be.

The End ~