Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'm bored and it's been a bit quiet around here. So I thought that a nice little hypothetical situation might be helpful. *grin*

Pretend that one of your female friends, who you are not exceptionally close to, is unintentionally pregnant (let's say that she's of the 1% who, through no fault of their own, get pregnant even with the most careful of contraceptive use). Let's say that she isn't Pro-Choice or Pro-Life, but has never really thought about abortion before. She's talked to her partner, and neither of them have any idea what to do. She comes asking you for advice, as a friend.

What would you tell her?

I would probably tell her all the possible options and that she should think about them carefully and probably give her links for adoption or places that would help support them and give advice.

Also if she is experiencing symptoms like morning sickness, give her tips that might help with that.

I never been in that situation since all my friends just decided to keep their babies and they been o.k. so far.

I thought I'd wait until people answered before I did - and since people did, I am. *grin*

I'd explain the options she has available to her and her partner. Since most of my friends are still in college, I'd talk about my sister, who took a year off college to have my nephew, but finished her degree. So I would encourage her to keep in mind that having a kid doesn't automatically end any hopes of finishing school. I'd talk to her about open adoption, being able to pick a family to raise the child and keep in contact with that child (at least letters and pictures - though some families have visitations as well, depends on the adoptive parent(s) and the birth parent(s) wishes). And I'd tell her about the clinic I know in Cleveland, and what to expect there if that is her choice.

I'd explain about prenatal care, and taking folic acid. I'd tell her about all the programs set up to help pregnant women and new mothers/parents who need financial help.

Most importantly, I would stress that, no matter what, I would be there to help and support her. I would try not to push any option at her, I would encourage her to make the best choice possible for her. And, if she choose to keep the child and raise it or give it up for adoption, I would give her about a million books about pregnancy (and parenting if she keeps it)!

I'd like to add a "Part II":

Let's suppose that the young friend was raped by her boyfriend and has become pregnant. She's scared, and again has no strong views about abortion. How would what you would tell her be different in this situation?

Therapy and pressing charges (and being there, of course) are also what I would focus on.

¨*:·.♥.·:*¨

I've actually been in that situation with a friend. (:

I gathered up real information (not fake guilt-pictures, or 'abortion is sunshine and rainbows' or "All children get adopted instantly!" stuff), and I talked with her about who she was, where she was in her life, where she wanted to go in life, and how each of her possibilities could and would affect all that. I talked at length with her about the good and the bad of all of it, and how she may feel afterwards.

She asked me questions, and I gave her answers, or, if I was unsure, or didn't know at all, we found the answers.

I refrained from encouraging any particular choice, but I made it very clear that no matter what, she had lots of support, so at the very least she didn't have to worry about dealing with it alone.

The experience itself was a bit enlightening for me...I think a lot of the time, people who feel really passionately about the topic lose some perspective. I mean, we can have our statistics and horror stories and all that all we want, but in the end, it's just ordinary everyday people dealing with it. No numbers. No fancy debating. Just people.




In the hypothetical rape scenario, I fully believe I'd treat it much the same. Begin with assessing the current self and situation, and then really examine the options, and their effects. 3nodding Of course, I'd also highly suggest counseling, in order to heal from the trauma, and also to help with the choice as well.