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 Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 3:33 pm
Ok so it was about 1 am January 10, 2008. Mom and Dad's marriage has been rocky for the past 10 years, Dad hadn't noticed until about 2 weeks ago or so. So anyways at 1 am Dad sat down on the couch and started telling me a story, about all his girlfriends and not finding that special one, the one that they had that spark together. He then was saying he finally found that one, he married her and loved her a lot..... but much later in the marriage he felt alienated and alone. So he started talking with a young woman, and with every conversation they had he fell deeper and deeper in love with her. He tried many times to work up the courage to tell this young woman how much he loved her, but he realized things could never work out between them.
At the end of my Dad telling me this he asked if I knew who the married woman was, I said, yes Mom. I was correct. He then asked if I knew who this young woman was, I had no clue. I thought maybe it was some woman Dad was having an affair with....... so he told me, the young woman was me. Yes I know my Step Dad is in love with me. I was pretty ******** shocked. He said if he was younger or could go in a time machine I would be the one he would marry. He was then saying, "remember when we would talk at night and I would stare at you, and you would say "What??" what were you thinking when I would look at you" I then said "I don't know, I just wondered why you were staring at me" he then said "Well, now you know"
At the end of everything he asked if I would going to tell anyone, I shook my head slighting meaning no, I won't. He asked if I promised, I said I don't know. Around 3 am I woke my Mom up while Dad was in the basement. I told her everything. She went down stairs and yelled at him like you wouldn't believe.
Mom had said that Dad he didn't mean it sexually, she said that Dad had said something along the lines of "I'm not very good at being a Dad, I'm not good at conversation because my Dad would just come home from work, watch tv and go to bed" he did admit to Mom he said what he had said, but he didn't mean it. Mom said Dad said what he was trying to say is that I'm a very special girl and which ever guy marries me will be very lucky.
My question here is, is that was Dad really WAS trying to say?? Or is it just an excuse so he wouldn't get in trouble??
I mean Dad's never touched me, or let on anything like he was in love with me. I am just so confused and don't know what to think. All I know right now is I don't want to see or talk to him.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and possibly helping me.
(Sorry if this is in the wrong forum)
Update January 17, 2008 - Ok so yesterday Mom and Dad had a talk, Dad again says that what he said, that's not what he meant to say.
I just don't know what to believe, Mom says I should go see a counselor or something, a professional to talk to about this. Even though I don't think I need to because I mean it hasn't scared me for life, or made me think I can't trust all men or anything like that.
Waiting for some answers here...
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Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 1:37 pm
Well, I'd believe the story your dad told your mom if he didn't ask you not to tell anyone. By asking you not to tell anyone, it makes it a private thing something secret. If he meant he just loves you as a daughter, why must no one know?
Marriage is a sexual thing, and the whole time machine thing seems more like sexual love.
I would talk to your Dad directly about this and maybe suggest consoling for both you (you both go to it together). I have no right to say what's going on in your Dad's head, but he sounds rather confused. If he does try to touch you, well, you know the drill, run and tell someone!
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Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 12:39 pm
Lauranthalis Well, I'd believe the story your dad told your mom if he didn't ask you not to tell anyone. By asking you not to tell anyone, it makes it a private thing something secret. If he meant he just loves you as a daughter, why must no one know? Marriage is a sexual thing, and the whole time machine thing seems more like sexual love. I would talk to your Dad directly about this and maybe suggest consoling for both you (you both go to it together). I have no right to say what's going on in your Dad's head, but he sounds rather confused. If he does try to touch you, well, you know the drill, run and tell someone!
I don't want to talk to him, I don't even want to see him. When he comes over to take my 2 younger siblings and my older Bro out, I stay in one room where I know he won't be able to see me.
He's never tried to touch me, and if he does I of course will tell my Mom... I'm still so confused about the whole damn thing.
Thanks though for voicing your opinion on the situation.
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 3:10 pm
even if he didn't touch you, it's still a form of sexual harassment.
and he probably was lying to your mom to not get in trouble
maybe you could talk to him and tell him that it made you really uncomfortable
and maybe, even if you think he wouldn't touch you or anything, try not to be alone with him, always have someone else there.
i hope everything works out alright for you
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Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:27 pm
xbookxwormx even if he didn't touch you, it's still a form of sexual harassment. and he probably was lying to your mom to not get in trouble maybe you could talk to him and tell him that it made you really uncomfortable and maybe, even if you think he wouldn't touch you or anything, try not to be alone with him, always have someone else there. i hope everything works out alright for you
I don't know if he was lying or not. I may have lived with him for 10 years. But I don't know who he is... he has been known to lie... but I dunno.
I don't want to talk to him at all, he wants to talk to me. But Mom says not before I see a counselor.
I'd never be alone with him, not for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time, if ever. He knows he made me uncomfortable, cuz when I told Mom what he said I started to cry, because I was scared. And when she confronted him about what he said to me, she told him that I was crying. So he knows it made me uncomfortable.
I honestly don't know if I would be able to trust him again, or if we can ever get a regular father, daughter relationship. Right now I'm thinking, not a chance in hell.
He's coming over tomorrow to cook breakfast and take my other siblings out swimming afterwards.... I hate when he comes over to the house. Before I would always hide in one room. But I don't care anymore. I shouldn't have to hide in my own house. So I'll go where ever I want in my house... I just ignore him. It's pretty easy lol
Thanks, I hope things work out too =)
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:27 pm
Thanks for all your replies to my post. I still haven't gone for counseling (Mom needs to save up some more money before I can go, though it better be soon because it seems like every time I explain the situation I leave out bits and pieces more every time because I forget)
Thanks again!!
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