Away on Christmas
I look out my window
Bright white blinds me
A new blanket, new snow,
but I'm left standing here
The same me, same loneliness.
I close my bright green eyes to the light
and remember winters past,
Me tucked into a blanket
describing the snow falling
To you on the other side of the phone
where the ground was bare and green.
You were envious of the snow
Dancing in my window, but
jealous grew like a vine in my heart
of the person sitting across from you watching
you smile and complain about the weather.
My eyes give up on hiding from the light,
As a stream of burning salt water
rolls wreck-less down my cheek.
A tiny voice calls from the dark corners
asking me why am I doing this to myself again.
I answer just as softly. "I don't know."
Closing the window, I turn and look at the tree,
Brightly lit, Bright colored ornaments.
A smile is painted on my face.
My family is here, and I'll see my friends soon.
I whisper into the air, "No worries,love.
We'll make it through."
I wait for the children to wake,
for the Christmas fun to begin, but I'm holding
a picture of you in a locket next to my heart.
I know you wanted to be here, too.
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