Quote:
I am... gay
“I didn’t choose to be this way, I just started seeing and feeling things differently and it’s something I didn’t want.” Sophomore Will Peterson says. Peterson has faced many obstacles to not only accept himself but also his gay lifestyle.
Peterson realized he was gay in middle school. “I always had this image in my mind of a hap¬py couple, a man and a woman and nothing else,” Peterson said. He tried to live up to this idea; he would date girls and would try to make them happy, even though he wasn’t truly happy. “I just didn’t feel the same way they felt for me. I was living a big lie,” Peterson said. He didn’t want to be gay because he felt he’d be alone forever and every¬one would hate him. The first time Peterson came out was to his ex-boyfriend Jacob. “Last year Jacob asked me out and I didn’t know what to say back because I knew I was gay but I just didn’t feel right coming out yet,” Peterson said.
Peterson felt closed off and cornered whenever he hears phrases like “that’s so gay” and “what a f**.” Peterson was convinced that people wouldn’t like him anymore if he came to school one day to say, “hello everyone, I’m gay!” “I just felt so uncomfortable going to school every day and feeling that way. I would get so hurt when people called me gay because I didn’t want them to know,” Peterson said. He always denied that he was gay but felt that his class¬mates new his secret.
Last month in Peterson’s English class, the class made posters that defined who they are. With Peterson now ready to be open about his sexuality, he wrote “gay” on his poster. A couple days later Peterson discovers that someone has scratched out the word. “I was very hurt but I did something that I felt was the right thing to do,” Peterson said. Under the blob of pencil scratches he wrote “proud to be.” Peterson felt better after that and hopes that the person who scratched out the word noticed it.
When Peterson finally came out to his father, he was afraid of how he would react. “He has always taught my brother and me to be very masculine and dominant,” Peterson said. He hated lying to his father and it affected him to the point where his grades started slipping. Be¬fore Peterson came out, he thought that this would be the last time he’d ever see a smile on his father’s face. “But, then he said he’d love me no matter what. I will always remember that day when my father finally accepted my secret,” Peterson said.
Today Peterson is proudly a part of the GSA because he wants students to know that the hardships coming out can be overcome. Peterson lives each day proud of who he is. “By coming out I realized that I am more honest with myself and I’m happy with who I am. I want to educate people because I think ignorance is unacceptable,” Peterson said. He does not want pity from anyone be¬cause of his hardships. “I know there are a lot of people that are still questioning themselves at school and everywhere. I want them to know that I am there for them no matter who they are. I may not know you, they may hate me, but I’m there for them because I know how hard it is to live a life that you don’t like, or you feel isn’t right for you,” Peterson said.
Peterson wants El Camino to be a safe place for not only the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bi¬sexual, Transgender and Questioning) community but also for everyone else. He strives to set an example for other schools to create a safe environment, even when the rest of the world isn’t.
“I know who I am. I am me. I am Will. I know that I’m gay.” Peterson said.
“I didn’t choose to be this way, I just started seeing and feeling things differently and it’s something I didn’t want.” Sophomore Will Peterson says. Peterson has faced many obstacles to not only accept himself but also his gay lifestyle.
Peterson realized he was gay in middle school. “I always had this image in my mind of a hap¬py couple, a man and a woman and nothing else,” Peterson said. He tried to live up to this idea; he would date girls and would try to make them happy, even though he wasn’t truly happy. “I just didn’t feel the same way they felt for me. I was living a big lie,” Peterson said. He didn’t want to be gay because he felt he’d be alone forever and every¬one would hate him. The first time Peterson came out was to his ex-boyfriend Jacob. “Last year Jacob asked me out and I didn’t know what to say back because I knew I was gay but I just didn’t feel right coming out yet,” Peterson said.
Peterson felt closed off and cornered whenever he hears phrases like “that’s so gay” and “what a f**.” Peterson was convinced that people wouldn’t like him anymore if he came to school one day to say, “hello everyone, I’m gay!” “I just felt so uncomfortable going to school every day and feeling that way. I would get so hurt when people called me gay because I didn’t want them to know,” Peterson said. He always denied that he was gay but felt that his class¬mates new his secret.
Last month in Peterson’s English class, the class made posters that defined who they are. With Peterson now ready to be open about his sexuality, he wrote “gay” on his poster. A couple days later Peterson discovers that someone has scratched out the word. “I was very hurt but I did something that I felt was the right thing to do,” Peterson said. Under the blob of pencil scratches he wrote “proud to be.” Peterson felt better after that and hopes that the person who scratched out the word noticed it.
When Peterson finally came out to his father, he was afraid of how he would react. “He has always taught my brother and me to be very masculine and dominant,” Peterson said. He hated lying to his father and it affected him to the point where his grades started slipping. Be¬fore Peterson came out, he thought that this would be the last time he’d ever see a smile on his father’s face. “But, then he said he’d love me no matter what. I will always remember that day when my father finally accepted my secret,” Peterson said.
Today Peterson is proudly a part of the GSA because he wants students to know that the hardships coming out can be overcome. Peterson lives each day proud of who he is. “By coming out I realized that I am more honest with myself and I’m happy with who I am. I want to educate people because I think ignorance is unacceptable,” Peterson said. He does not want pity from anyone be¬cause of his hardships. “I know there are a lot of people that are still questioning themselves at school and everywhere. I want them to know that I am there for them no matter who they are. I may not know you, they may hate me, but I’m there for them because I know how hard it is to live a life that you don’t like, or you feel isn’t right for you,” Peterson said.
Peterson wants El Camino to be a safe place for not only the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bi¬sexual, Transgender and Questioning) community but also for everyone else. He strives to set an example for other schools to create a safe environment, even when the rest of the world isn’t.
“I know who I am. I am me. I am Will. I know that I’m gay.” Peterson said.
