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OKAY PEEPS.
Methinks (or rather me knows) we, my drama club in rl, needs a few short one act plays. Preferably comedies but ones that are pretty easy but display the talent of actors well. Preferably royalty free. We have 0 money in the club savings acct. :v
But anywho. Post likehs and Volleh luffles you foreva and eva.

Drama's okay, at our school the teacher's a total a*****e, but that why I don't like it. sweatdrop

I wrote this. I don't need fixings on grammatical errors or any help or anything that way. All I want to know is if it is funny and if you think it might be a funny crowd pleaser. Sorry for length. Ther eason it is called NEW is because there were knights of the triangular table before them. They were Sir Orisitmaam, Sir Laughs-A-Lot and Sir Prise. ;]
Enjoy

The Tale of the NEW Knights of the Triangular Table

Characters

The Medicine Man
Sir Veilance- A Strange man…You never see the skin of him whatsoever. He is quite a spy
Sir Chanddestroy: A very destructive young knights who wants to kill and smash everything.
Sir Casm: Speaks only in sarcasm. Hates the world and it’s inhabitants, and finds the stupidity in everyone.
Voice of the Queen
Soaprah- Miss Goodie Two Velvet Slippers
Guard 1
Guard 2
Dragon
Prop Person
The Actual Director

[The scene opens to the three knights sitting at the same triangular table. Sir Chanddestroy is marveling at his sword in his hand, stroking the blade gently, while sitting in a chair away from the table, nearer the window at which Sir Veilance is standing. Sir Casm is rolling his eyes while reading a piece of parchment, a red piece of ribbon in his hand that apparently came from binding the same piece of parchment. Sir Veilance is looking out of the window with a spyglass, smiling.]

Sir Casm: Surprise, Ladies. We’ve gotten a letter from the Queen.
Sir Chanddestroy: Did he just call us ladies? Let’s kill ‘im! [he rises from his chair as Sir Veilance spreads his arms as if to prevent him from attacking Sir Casm].

Sir Veilance: Just what did it say, Sir Casm?

Sir Casm: She said she wanted tea with your mum.

Sir Veilance: Me mum? Me mum’s dead!

Sir Casm: No kidding, Sophocles.

[Sir Veilance frowns and places his spyglass on the table.]

Sir Veilance: What is it really about?

Sir Casm: The Queen has requested our immediate assistance.
I’ll let you read for yourselves.

The Voice of the Queen:
It is with the same sorrowful hand as my husband used when writing to the last three of your order when I request your help. Our most helpful presence, my sister, Lady Soaprah, has been taken by dwellers of the Kingdom of Good Intentions. She is desperately needed… The way to get to this kingdom from your current location is to first leave your building and head toward the south gate. From there, you shall head due South to the south gate of our kingdom. From there you shall go through the Valley of Nor Here Nor There, The Forest of Mysteeeerious Wandering, and Through the Mountain Pass of I Think Me Helmet is Frozen To Me Head, and the Valley of O’er Yonder. Then you should be able to find the kingdom with ease. Now I believe I’ll go have myself a good cry. My sister is doomed. Oh and good luck.

Sir Veilance: Oo! Our First Mission! How Thrilling!

Sir Casm: [mimicking in a girly voice] Oo! How thrilling!

Sir Veilance: Well it is!

Sir Casm [still mimicking in a girly voice] Well it is! So I’ll go put on me dress and go dancing with the handsome noblemen and sip tea with the ladies!

Sir Veilance: Anyway… I believe we are going to—
[Medicine man enters and cuts in]

Medicine Man: head out tomorrow at the very crack of dawn?

Sir Veilance: No…I was hoping we could head out in a few weeks or so…You see I have some errands to run…

Medicine Man: The safety of one of our [cough] esteemed [cough] noblewomen is at stake, and you are willing to put it off for a few weeks?

Sir Veilance: Well…Um…Aye, Sir.

Medicine Man: You should be so lucky I became a medicine man instead of a warrior, or you, Sir, would be a dead man.
Well, you will be anyway! Ha! I don’t suspect you’ll make it through the forest of Mysteeerious wandering.

Sir Veilance: Oh you’ll see yet, sir! I’ve the heart of a lion and the—

Medicine Man: Courage of a knave? Nay. The Courage of a—Well I can’t quite think of anything less courageous than you…

Sir Veilance: We’ll just see who’s the coward tomorrow.

Medicine Man: Yes you will. As for me…There’s this peasant and this bunion…I’m a busy man. You say hello to the prison dwellers for me, please.

Sir Veilance: Sure thing! Wait…Hey!

Medicine Man: Good Luck.

[Scene closes and reopens to a green open area]

Sir Veilance: Where are we?

Sir Casm: Nor Here, Nor There.

Sir Veilance: Well we must be here! I mean if we aren’t here…then where are we? There? But We can’t be there if we are here…Where are we? Gah!

Sir Casm: No, Dimwit.
[Sir Casm points to a sign that says Nor Here, Nor There]

Sir Veilance: Ohhhhh. I see. So This must be the valley.

Sir Casm: No Kidding Sophocles.

Sir Veilance: I really hate that! You always make me sound like an idiot! I just don’t like it, Casm!

Sir Casm: Well you must admit you aren’t too bright. I mean you even managed to forget your trousers today!

[Veilance looks at his bottom half, fully clothed.]

Sir Casm: Haha! Made you look!

Sir Veilance: Well…You’re so blind you don’t see that dragon behind you.

[A Costume Dragon is standing right behind Casm]

Sir Casm: Veilance, you cannot possibly pull my own joke off on me. There is nothing behind me you foolish foolish knight!

Sir Veilance: Are You so sure about that, Sir?

Sir Casm: I am Sir. [mimicingly]

Sir Veilance: Well…I hope you enjoyed your short pessimistic life. I suppose I’ll be going now.

[Sir Veilance runs off stage area]

Sir Casm: I always knew he was chicken hearted. Ha! As if he could pull one off on me.

Dragon: Moo!

[Sir Casm turns around]

Sir Casm: Moo? Moo!? What kind of a dragon goes moo?

Dragon: Well…I don’t necessarily know what a dragon sound is…What sound does a dragon make?

Sir Casm: More like a roar or growl, or some kind of a daunting noise. Something that will make someone shake in their boots.

Dragon: Ooo! Ooo! I know a daunting noise! Cluck! Cluck!

Sir Casm: But…That’s the noise of a chicken!

Dragon: I know! Isn’t it scary? I’ll make the maidens hide the children and the peasants plead for mercy with that noise!

Sir Casm: Ugh. Why do I even bother trying to help a drag—

[Casm makes an expression like he just realizes he has been talking to a dragon]

OOOOOOOOON! RUNNNNN!

[Casm Runs around and around off stage and on stage again, dragon following steadily until dragon stops and Casm stops behind]

Sir Casm: Um…Aren’t YOU supposed to be chasing ME?

Dragon: I don’t really know really. I’ve only been professionally dragoning one week.

Sir Casm: Dragoning? Is that even a word?

Dragon: I didn’t take English in school. We only learned useless stuff like burning down villages and eating maidens and stuff. Useless really. I’ve always wanted to knit instead you know, but with these big old clumsy claws, I don’t think I could ever do it, so I think I’ll stick with this for now.

Sir Casm: Got ya. So…as we were?

[The dragon and casm continue to run around in circles until Veilance wanders in from right, as the running Casm runs smack into him]

Sir Veilance: Where did you come from?

Sir Casm: Where do you think?

Sir Veilance: Ohhhh.

Sir Casm: Ohhh. Anyway. Where did that very violent fellow go?

Sir Veilance: Sir Chanddestroy? Oh. Um…He ran off. He said something about weapons that needed washing or something and something about his mother and bitter hog stew.

Sir Casm: I don’t even need to use sarcasm on that bit. You know what’s running through my mind just as well.

Sir Veilance: Sadly, yes. You know, I’m happy we get to visit the Kingdom of Good Intentions. One of the best known…well I don’t even know quite what to call him. He spies everything…and he knows everything. His scope is so grand it can even see to the castles of far away countries. He knows all.
I cannot wait to see him! His name is Sir Veyor. Have you heard of him?

Sir Casm: Oh my! Sir Veyor?! I’ve always wanted to meet Sir Veyor!!! He’s just my favourite!

Sir Veilance: [a smile spreads across face] Really?

Sir Casm: No.

Sir Veilance: Oh. [smile disappears] Anyway…Let’s continue on…

[they wander off screen. Scene closes and reopens to a forested area within which the two seem to be wandering]

Sir Veilance: Ah. It looks like we are in that Land of Mysteeerious Wandering.

Sir Casm: You Mean Mysterious?

Voice of Queen: Mysteeeerious. If you say it the other way, a troupe of rabid rabbits will come eat your spleen and make
Gravy of our fluids.

Sir Casm: Ha! I’d like to see them try. How’d you get here anyway? [looks up toward sky]

Voice of Queen: I really don’t know. Just kind’ve happened I spose. Anywho, if you are so confident, howabouts you say it yourself?

Sir Casm: Mysterious Forest of Wandering.

Voice of Queen: No silly! You are supposed to say it like The Forest of Mysterious Wandering…Wait…AAAAAAAAAAH!!

Sir Casm: Hahaha!
[Sir veilance brushes away some leaves and reveals a wall with a small gate to the side.]
Sir Veilance: Well then. Looks like you’ve just killed the queen while I happened to find The kingdom of good intentions… Evidently we just fleed past those mountains…This was a faster trip than I imagined.

Sir Casm: I found it very daunting and hauntingly long, really.

Sir Veilance: Truthfully?

Sir Casm: No…

Sir Veilance: Thought as much.

Sir Casm: Truthfully?

Sir Veilance: No. Now how do we get over that wall right there? Could you lift me up a little bit, then I’ll pull you over? Well wait…I could use this rock here…

[Sir Veilance boosts himself up and sits on the fence holding his hand out as he wobbles on the fence almost falling on multiple occasions. Sir Casm starts walking away]

Sir Veilance: Just what do you think you’re doing?

Sir Casm: Using the gate…

Sir Veilance: So…Are you just going to leave me up here?

Sir Casm: Well…That was the plan. Guards?

Guard 1: Yes?

Sir Casm: Take that man away. He’s intruding on this lovely kingdom here.

Guard 2: We’ll take care of it immediately.

Sir Veilance: But…He’s ‘invading’ too! Why don’t you take him away?

Guard 2: Don’t be silly! He’s a concerned citizen. Trust me we’ll dispose of you with

Guard 1&2 [unison]: the best of intentions!!!

Sir Veilance: HELP!

[Sir Casm keeps walking to right until he sees a tower. ‘Soaprah’ is looking out the window, holding a wine glass]

Soaprah: Let me guess. You came to Save me?

Sir Casm: Well that’s what Sir Veilance was doing. I came here to tote you home and get a reward.

Soaprah: You’re a knight! You don’t get a reward.

Sir Casm: Well I’m a special case.

Soaprah: Sir Casm. I’ve heard of you…Can’t imagine having a nice bone in you…I know you did it just to be nice.

Sir Casm: Well…Well…Somebody needed to save these bumbling idiots.

Soaprah: You probably knew what the guards do with invaders too, right?

Sir Casm: Aye…So are you coming or not?

Soaprah: Nah. I hope you had a nice trip. I kind’ve like it here better anyway. The food is much better.

Sir Casm: Well that was a nice trip for nothing. By the way…You really have to do something about that smell. It smells like lye soap around here. It’s bloody dreadful. I guess I could endure it long enough for a tea though?

Soaprah: Oh we have the best tea ever! Come on up!

[Scene closes and reopens to Sir Veilance and the two guards looking out a window with Veilance holding a scope in his hand and looking out]

Sir Veilance: Well I sure can’t believe I finally met the infamous Sir Veyor…and accomplice?

Sir Veyor: Yep. But see? I told you…the king of that grubby ole kingdom of yours IS alive. And to top it off…the rumors are true. He does prance around wearing ladies’ clothing at night!

Sir Veilance: I think I’m going to like it here!

[Scene switches to a half forested half grassy area with Dragon and Sir Chanddestroy]

Sir Chanddestroy: Well…I managed to get away from them long enough…Hopefully Sir Veilance told Sir Casm I died valiantly in battle as I requested. But yes, I love to knit too. I’m always so tired of this tough-knight appeal. I mean who says a knight can’t have a warm and cuddly side?

Dragon: I know what you’re saying, brother. And why can’t a dragon be sweet and caring? It’s always pillaging, breathing fire, eating people, and more pillaging!

Sir Chanddestroy: I know how it feels. I always have to kill everything…For honor and virtue. Psh. It’s just barbaric. I mean I’d much rather knit and cook. Forget being barbaric. I’d like a simple and quaint life better. I heard they needed a new cook at the palace. With the queen in the shape she is in after the king dying and all. Poor dear.

Dragon: Yes, poor dear.

[Prop Person of the drama club can come in and start removing trees]

Dragon: Umm what do you think you are doing?

Prop Person: Oh Um…The director told me to start removing trees.

Sir Chanddestroy: Director?

Prop Person: Um yeah. The guy that is directing the play for all those people? [points to audience]

Sir Chanddestroy: [makes covering self up motion even though fully clothed] So…they’ve been watching the entire time? It’s a joke, I tell you! I really am very barbaric! I eat my own boogers!

Dragon: That isn’t barbaric. That’s just…gross…

Sir Chanddestroy: Oh. Well nothing to see here folks!

[The REAL director comes on stage]

Director: Yes there is! Stay in your seats!
[prop person keeps taking down trees]

Sir Chanddestroy: Excuse me. That’s deforestation, Mister.

Dragon: You know, Director whoever you are…I’m getting pretty tired here…

Director: Okay, Okay. Well I guess they were right. There is nothing to see here. We’re done!

[Everybody comes back onto the stage, and drama club members are introduced, and closing is stated]

END

I guess my drama club (I quit for the fall because I had too much going on) decided to go for shorter plays in the spring. They decided on Clue. If its anything like the movie, it'll be wonderful! I'm so excited! I'm pretty sure the Crucible is a shorter one as well, we read it in English class, and I absolutely loved it! xD Those were the days when I was really shy and everything (still kind of am), the innocent one of the class, and I wind up with the part of Abigail in class. Um, Abigail has an affair with John Proctor in the play and all that jazz.

Ok, this is off the topic of short plays, but have you ever considered/done/heard of a Madrigal Dinner Theater? My swing choir/girl's vocal jazz just put one on for a fund raiser, and it was extremely different, but it turned out wonderfully. So, these are Rennaissance time period, and basically you have a script, but a lot of it is improve because you have to stay in your character while serving people/mingling with people. So, basically, people are paying for dinner and a show, but they get to interact with the actors. Like I said, it involves a lot of improve, so that's what made it uncomfortable for a lot of people because you weren't only memorizing lines, but completely putting yourself into a character and having to react like that character no matter what.