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 Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:06 pm
((It's not FABBU, but hey... I haven't been 100% on my ball lately and don't have time to get over it. Besides, new char to try and get a feel for. ))
A wide smile was spread along the male's face as he headed down along through the threes, skirting the edges of a creek that ran through them. Behind could be heard the movements of another, proving that she was infact coming along. Not that he'd questioned it. It was easy to calculate that she would come, she always did.
Which was kind of boring in a way. What if...
He paused a moment, contemplating the idea before dropping it again. The chances of it were so low. His sister would always be there. It was a simple as that.
Once more placated with the thought Azhar started off again, choosing to attempt to jump between sounds carefree as a child. Nothing would go wrong, he'd already looked through the situations that might come, that might present themselves to him based on condition. Certainly things hadn't gone well. At least not by her terms, she being his sister. But... it was splendid in his opinion. They'd deviated from what he believed to be the solution. Not understanding wasn't something he foresaw. Thus... it made things better. "That was a good game." He quickly called, spinning around before allowing himself to fall onto the ground, watching his companion happily. "We should play with them again sometime."
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 7:48 pm
She followed, reluctantly. After what had just transpired, she wished that she could just leave him and strike out on her own, but that just wasn't an option. Still, her anger tinted her cheeks pink through her faintly translucent fur, and she stomped with each step, crushing blades of grass under her hooves. For a moment she looked down, regarding the damage she had done. If she had been more careful, maybe that wouldn't have happened. But then, that was the story of her life, it seemed.
The worst part was, he enjoyed it! Itzal opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Sighing, she shut it again. She never knew what to say, how to express her feelings. That he did was maddening, but then, it was one of the reasons she knew that she couldn't live without him. And he knew it too. There were times that Itzal thought her brother knew everything about her. Even if he didn't, it often seemed that way, to the point that it was just safer to assume that was the case and move on. Of course, that didn't necessarily make things any easier on them.
For a few seconds, she stopped walking and focused on breathing. Then he spoke, and her focus shattered. He was talking about it as though it was a game again! Running to catch up, she poked him hard in the back. "Don't you think... that is, have you ever thought that some people... that not everyone wants to play this game with you? That not everyone enjoys it? That I don't enjoy it?" Her wings vibrated slightly, making a soft buzzing noise as they rubbed together, something they tended to do when she was tense. She ignored it, but consciously rubbed her arms nervously. "I mean... can't you just not tell- no, you should tell! I mean... I don't know."
Miserable, she stopped again, her head drooping. It was no wonder that he never changed, not when she couldn't say what it was she wanted from him.
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 8:34 pm
Of course it was a game, why would it not be? A game with hunting and chasing was no different than a game of words. He enjoyed such games because they entertained him, they were unpredictable enough afterall. That was what made them such a treat, the unknown. And the answer was always new for the participants so... "They're fun games though." He quickly chimed, frowning at the attempt at a scolding his sister was giving him. "They should enjoy it." He added, glancing off, the previously joyous look lost in a childish pout. "I told them clearly. It's not my fault if they didn't listen to the advice and it went poorly." Why did it matter anyway? They'd learn another day. Probability said they should eventually understand.
Though he did glance back at his sister, still looking at her witht he attitutde of a five year old. "Why don't you like it?" Honestly, he didn't understand. It didn't effect her, everyone condemned her even if things went well. What did the result matter? Why would she be so upset with him over such trivial matters. "It's not my fault, nor yours, that they take out their anger on others." Which was true, and she was doing that now as well. That did trouble him a bit and forced a frown onto Azhar's face. "Why would you take their side anyway!" He was far more important than those who were too egotistic to see the errors in their way. Not willing change for the better. She only brought change, there was nothing wrong with it. She shouldn't protect people who did that.
It only upset him further the more he thought about it. She cared more about the happiness of... of... he grit his teeth, glancing up at her. "They're just sore losers!" Yes, that was it. They just didn't like losing a game and had a fit. It meant he'd lost too, because his advice was for the best. He'd failed in that. If anyone had a right to be upset it was him. So why we he getting told off for playing the game with them? "It's no fun playing with sore losers. But-" He shoved himself up to his feet. "-if that's who you like playing with you can play on your own."
There was little chance she'd do well without him, he knew that well. If anything he was good at judging people, giving sound advice. The way he gave it... wasn't always clear, but he gave it. That was the game. One he enjoyed playing to see if he'd be outsmarted or not. He never gave advice he didn't believe they could comprehend. Afterall, failure was losing so it wasn't his fault. Of course not, he was always reasonable. He shouldn't have been told off for it.
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 9:12 pm
For Itzal, it was a game that she always lost. And though she would never admit it to her brother, it was worse when he wasn't around. At least then, there was some chance of people understanding, even if they didn't like her. They never did. In a way, she felt that she should to be used to it. Still, that didn't stop her from hoping that she might meet someone else who didn't shun her for who she was, and what tended to happen around her. Or at least someone who let her explain, not that words ever served her well.
Her mind going in circles, she physically gripped her head and held it still. Then she stared at her brother's back as he walked away. He was making excuses again, and she knew it. While she wasn't entirely right, at least she wasn't blaming innocent bystanders! She was too used to having people do that to her. "I- I didn't mean that they're right- they are, but not about that, I think," she stammered. "But that doesn't mean you can tease- you can't make fun of them for it!"
He was leaving? Fine! "I don't want to play with a sore winner anyway," she managed to say, though her vocal cords felt like they were swelling shut. She wouldn't be able to last long without him, and even though she was angry, she wanted to run back to him and cry on his shoulder. But she had to be strong. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right again. No matter what, she would survive on her own. She could do it... couldn't she?
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 9:23 pm
But someone had to be right and wrong if she had an opinion. Well one she was talking about. She was complaining to him so it meant she thought he was wrong. And teasing? He'd never teased them. "I don't make fun of anyone." He huffed. This wasn't what he'd expected from her, none of it was. What he knew... well it wasn't like this. Although it was for things he couldn't understand about people that he liked them, especially his sister, but... he didn't like it when she was upset with him. Even worse was when it was for people he'd deemed as useless, even if they were amusing.
Change, in his opinion, was unavoidable. Those people wanted to avoid it, blame it for things, he didn't agree with it. All the same he'd given them advice impartial as always. The fact they declined by choosing not to use their wits to find the answer in it wasn't his fault. Not at all.
And she was angry at him because they wouldn't change. "I didn't win at all!" He shouted back, offering her one last look before continuing on his stomp off, each hoof diging a small bit into the ground. He didn't like it. No, no, no! It was all wrong that she was upset with him. He should have been right. They'd made the mistake of overlooking it then pointing fingers, exclaiming that they were evil tricksters, things like that. He'd never said such mean things to his sister, even now... He'd been upset with her decision, but never once called her a name. Shouldn't she have been able to see he actually cared? That he played those games as much for himself as for her?
Why else would he do all the things he does? ...well aside from it being fun. Everything else was too predictable.
That didn't change the fact though. She'd yelled at him, and he wasn't going to stand for that. Nope, he'd let her see just how hopeless she was without him to help. "Offer up thy words for naught." He quickly shirped to himself the annoyance leaving his voice as he said it, already too far away for his sister to hear.
She'd definitely see that it wasn't his fault. He'd done nothing wrong. He just had to wait for her to realize. Until then, he sighed, this was going to be very boring.
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 10:10 pm
She was alone. Again.
There had, in fact, been someone on the path. He was a traveler, a wanderer much like herself. And he had been kind, offering a bit of conversation and words of advice. He'd laughed at her story and said that when he was younger, he would argue with his sister as well. In fact, he was on his way to visit her, and might Itzal like to come?
She would have loved to come. Even though she knew it would never happen, the mere offer made her heart nearly burst out of her chest. While her speech was even more impaired because of it, restricted to the words "yes" and "no," and eventually reduced to simple nodding, she was elated. Somebody liked her. Even if it was temporary, she never got tired of that feeling. That only made the void that was to follow even more painful.
All good things must come to an end. Her brother said that sometimes, and as usual, he was right. In this case, it was a tree that she had stopped under, and leaned against gently. Only seconds later, a branch came crashing down, landing squarely on her companion's head. It missed her, of course- the strange accidents and mishaps that occurred around her always did. She had stayed until he regained consciousness, in case he needed- or even wanted- her help. During that time, she found that the branch was old and infected with rot, and by breaking off it had probably saved the tree. But telling him that hadn't done any good. He had dealt with her help politely, if coldly, before saying that he couldn't have a companion after all. After giving a stiff goodbye he left, practically running for his life.
Itzal's heart broke, as it had countless times before, and would for countless times yet to come.
Her lavender eyes stung with fresh tears, but she held them in until she was sure she was alone. She wasn't crying for self-pity, even though she was upset at the fact that she had been scorned again for something she didn't even do. She was crying for all of the trouble she caused people. It hurt everyone she dared to get close to; even though the changes were usually rooted in good, it was hard to see past the harsh exterior. The tree branch was only a minor example. Fires, floods, betrayal, despair... they followed her as though she invited them, when all she wanted was to be normal. To have a conversation with someone without having it interrupted by imminent disaster. To actually make a... what were they called again? The word was so disused that it actually took her a moment to remember, and when she did she almost cried again. Friend, that was what she lacked. A friend.
There was only one person who understood her. Someone who knew the truth behind what happened, or at least knew enough to not shun her for what she caused. Not that he wasn't affected by it, but he managed well enough? Why couldn't they? Why couldn't they all be more like him-
Catching herself, she shuddered. Why would she want other people to be more like him? He played with them, as if he was better and they were his toys. The world was his chessboard, and the people she encountered were his pawns. What did that make her, then? Again, she shuddered. She wasn't sure that she wanted to finish off that metaphor. It was a bit too realistic for her liking.
But even though he was a selfish, egotistical, stubborn brat, he was always there for her. He spoke when she couldn't- he twisted her words, but they were still better than anything she could come up with. When others shunned her, he welcomed her. He didn't just accept the person she was, he embraced it. He embraced her, with all of her faults, and while he wasn't short on them himself, she knew she wasn't lacking them either. In that way, they were a perfect match. Sometimes she wondered about that. Were they perfect together because they were siblings, or were they siblings because their souls were so well matched?
Finally, Itzal looked up, and almost laughed through her tears. Somehow, without her noticing, she had walked back towards where she had last seen her brother. Even if her mind was rebelling against him, her heart knew where she really belonged, and was drawing her to the one person she could count on. If she ever left her brother in truth, or worse, if he ever left her, she would probably die of grief. But as long as she had him, even if the rest of the world rejected her, she would be content. How could she not, with him by her side?
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Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 5:40 pm
Fwump.
Down he went onto the ground a grimace on his face. Both arms crossed as he leaned back against a tree grumbling quietly to himself. It wasn't fair. He did what he did for them as much as himself. Even for Itzal. It was for everyone, not because he was being selfish. Yet she thought he was being just that. Why couldn't she, of all people, understand him? Understand why he did it. He wasn't so selfish. She should know.
Slumping forward a bit, digging a claw into the soil to draw pictures, he continued to glare at it. The whole situation was wrong. People never changed if yu told them what to do, they wouldn't know how ot deal with things on their own. That's why advice could never be direct. It's why he couldn't save her from everything either. She'd never learn to survive the way things were, but he didn't want her to be hurt either. That's why it was hard. She was his cherish sister, the only one he'd ever have. He couldn't let bad things happen, even if they always would. That's why he helped those people as best was possible, to lessen her burden. Certainly she felt the most pain when things happened without him to ease it, he'd seen that.
There was just no true solution to the problem. No way to win the game fully. If he gave them true clear advice they'd just fall for a trap next time, even if they survived once. Something they didn't work for... they'd forget it easily. It wouldn't do at all. And if he made it a riddle they'd remember yes, but they always got angry that it was so hard. He made it that way so they would recall the situation in future times. Afterall... even if his sister was a strong catalyst for change, she was not the sole source.
Which created the problem.
He couldn't solve everything at once, so he chose the best route possible. While keeping things entertaining. Afterall, games were fun. He certainly liked them.
He continued to drag his hand along through the dirt, casually creating first a moon, then stars. The image slowly began to appear, crude as it may have been. It was for the big picture. No one grew up when they were sheltered from hardship, he too saw that as clearly as anyone. Afterall, he'd earned the title of 'brat' by being living proof. He was too prepared for everything that came, it made too much sense. He never felt the sting others did from failure because it came so easily. Which was part of what caused the problem. He knew he didn't mean anything by it, his sister knew, but the world couldn't understand. They didn't realize that he just couldn't comprehend a better way to deal with a situation.
"So they get angry." He mumbled under his breath, quickly etching in the last two bits in his picture. A few circles with smiles, wings. Nothing fancy, just a representation really. The two of them. Because that was all that seemed to work.
A low sigh escaped him as he let himself sit back up, glancing ahead at the noise. Really, he knew who it was, probability said that it was her. There wasn't any real surprise on his face either, he knew how things turned out, what she'd be feeling. He'd done it for her own good, because she should know they threw blame needlessly. So... why did she seek acceptance from them? Why should it matter?
"Itzal, you shouldn't let them upset you." It was a quiet murmur as he stood up to go over and lay a hand on her shoulder. "It's not your fault." It wasn't. They just rejected what wasn't convenient.
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